Strange things found on (or in) a pt.

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I've always wondered, especially after hearing about this guy who brought a snake into the ER----what is the strangest thing you've ever found on (or in) a patient?

well probably the strangest one was finding a guy in an MVA with an apprx 12 inch long x 2 inch diameter salami strapped to his leg!!!

Ever seen the cult movie "Pink Flamingos"? There's a character who runs around city parks flashing women in this manner.

One of the "women" was a man in the final stages of gender reassignment, 1972-style. That's when this movie was filmed.

ETA: If you're not familiar with this movie, I'll put it this way: One reviewer said, in a book about cult movies, that John Waters [the director; this was his first major release] must have gotten this idea to make movies that were so bizarre, the critics would look like perverts for having sat through them.

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1 Male ER pt came in with vacuum hose attached to his member... EMT didnt even detach it from the vac. That....... I thought was the funny part

I know who was responsible for that !

As far as bizarre things I've seen, a room deoderizer in "that" area, a rat in rectum (sorry, no gerbils yet), pepsi bottle in lady parts, and a really bright cop who was playing quick draw, didn't clear the leather and shot himself in the crotch. Also poor 15 year old girl came in attached to her boyfriend following oral to his foreskin by her braces ! Sad thing was, her dad was the er doc on duty !

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In regards to the vaccuum on the member, we had two phone calls to the ER on different days where a man stated he had a vaccuum stuck on his member, we thought it was a crank, we told him to turn off the vaccuum and if that didn't work to come in. No one ever came in. Gave us a good laugh on those days.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

Needless to say after reading the entirety of this thread, I must go vomit.

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Sad thing was, her dad was the er doc on duty !

I am guessing he did not find it as ammusing as we do?

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Specializes in Hospice, ER.

As told by a co-worker last night:

LOL comes in. Has a mass that looks like a third boob, near her real boobs. RN picks up mass to look at it and finds bobby pin stuck to skin under mass. LOL says "So thats where that went" and proceeds to stick bobby pin back in hair.

We were hysterical w/laughter.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

That's gross

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Needless to say after reading the entirety of this thread, I must go vomit.

and you didn't think that might be a possibility when you saw the thread's title?

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

Nope.

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I was an LPN before becoming an RN. In LPN school we had to wear those nursing caps, and we secured them in place with bobby pins. I was giving a bed bath to a patient that was basically comatose. My hat fell off and when I went to put it back on I couldn't find one of the bobby pins, so I looked all around the bed, under the patient. Gave up, then looked into my patients mouth (mouth breather) there it was just sitting there on her tongue.

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Specializes in ED staff.

I had a patient come to the ER after putting a spermicidal suppository in her urinary meatus instead of her lady parts. She was young and thought sex was supposed to hurt. I had to catheterize her and the urine had a waxy film on top it. I've also had a very obese woman come in with a remote to the TV under one of her breasts and a half eaten sandwich under the other.

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Specializes in HH, Med/surg- liver & kidney transplant, ortho, ++.

I am sure someone has heard about something like this before. I guess you had to be there to actually witness us laughing cuz it was kind of funny but unfortunate too.

I work with a PA she tells the most randoms stories at times. It's great.

One woman came in because her boyfriend said that her lady partsl area smelled. The PA did an exam and saw something fuzzy/furry in her lady parts. It had a tail, she said at first she thought it was a rat or a mouse and thought it was going to jump out at her. It turned out to be a tampon that had been there for a month or maybe longer. She removed it and nothing but puss came out. The women ended up going strait to the hospital to be admitted for IV ABX.

Like I said, you had to be there cuz it was pretty funny how she explained it.

Another not related to what is in/on the body. A kid came in because he broke his finger. Totally displaced, you could see it with the naked eye. She accidently said she was going to send him to the orthomember. We all cracked up laughing. Poor kid, he was about 14, I could just picture the look on his face.

One more, same day. She puts her tampons in her pants pockets, where the pockets are over the thigh. She also puts the covers for her otoscope in pockets too. She pulled out a tampon (OB kind) instead of a cover and tried to put it on the otoscope, this happend right in front of the patient.

Fun stuff.

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