Spouse of Home Hospice Patient Makes Me Feel "Ookie".....

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Hey all. I'm a hospice nurse who visits patients in their homes in a rural area. I have a patient now who has a really bizarre spouse. First of all he answers all the questions I ask her and she kind of just sits there passively. Second of all, he's a religious zealot who gets all worked up about how everyone is going to he-- because they don't read the Bible etc. Then he spouts out gems like "Those kids in schools who kill other kids shouldn't kill the other kids. They should go after the teachers and principals instead because it's their fault." and "I should have punched out the doctor who saw my wife last week because he stuck his hand UNDER her bra to use his stethoscope, and no man has any business touching my wife like that." He gets all wild-eyed and raises his voice when he says these things. He has also said he's thought about using his gun against a principal of a school because his kids were picked on, and the principal wouldn't do anything about it, but he's afraid of he--, so he decided not to kill the guy. He takes extensive notes about presidential candidates and the only issue that concerns him is homosexuality and whether or not the candidates are 'immoral' because they support homosexuals. He seems pretty volatile, and I don't feel safe around him. He has specifically requested that no male nurse visit his wife, he only wants females in the house. Am I overreacting, or is the situation really unsafe? It's a rural area, and there are not a lot of police, etc. around. There is no possibility of buddying up with another nurse as we are severely under-staffed. Sorry this is so long! Any advice would be appreciated.

Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

First....ANYONE who says they plan to kill someone with a gun or any other means should be believed!!!

In our profession, if a patient tells us that they plan to kill themselves, it is called suicidal ideation....and we report this to the appropriate authorities, ie doctors and mental health professionals who can offer appropriate support/ treatment....if someone states that they plan to kill someone else, and expresses the means in which they plan to do this, YOU SHOULD BELIEVE THEM!! (since the man is a bible thumping person, you might consider the verse in Proverbs: "as a man thinketh, so is he!").....

Clearly, this man is delusional....and not got all his marbles in the right place....or he is missing a few.....

I would report him to the police....anyone who threatens medical or educational people should be questioned.....

I would not go back to this place....and I would tell my supervisors why.....this is not a stable environment....he's a nut job.....

NUT JOB + GUNS = DISASTER......

Someone like him reminds me of the David Koresh type... or the nut job from Guyana who convinced his whole church to drink cyanide.....or the nut jobs from Columbine.....or the nut job who shot all the kids at Virginia Tech....

Don't put yourself in danger.....

His wife stays quiet for a reason.....believe me.....

I have been in her shoes....and it's better to lay low, than to speak up in front of an unstable individual, esp. when you are vulnerable healthwise.

I would report this to the police, because they are in a position to confiscate his weapons, as well as alert the school authorities of the threat. When good people sit back and do nothing, evil is allowed to run amok.....

Don't ever put yourself in a position where you wake up one day and say, "I wish I would have said something...."

You can call anonymously, if you fear for your job....or if you fear that he would label you as the person who said something....

call from a pay phone....

The police HAVE to take every threat towards a school or a doctor as a threat....even if it is verbal.....

I will keep you in my prayers....

stay safe....

crni

Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

AND I totally disagree with Motorcyclemama.....

The patient is at risk by being with someone this unstable in her last vestiges of life....not reporting someone because of ??assets??? what does that mean? A patient's well being should not be based on whether there are assets...a patient's well being is FOREMOST in any situation....period.

AND I totally disagree with Motorcyclemama.....

The patient is at risk by being with someone this unstable in her last vestiges of life....not reporting someone because of ??assets??? what does that mean? A patient's well being should not be based on whether there are assets...a patient's well being is FOREMOST in any situation....period.

Absolutely.

Further, as a nurse, she's a mandated reporter. By law, she MUST report this. It's up to the authorities to investigate the situation to determine if the report is valid.

Home health is a lot like pre-hospital care. Scene safety is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't feel safe, you're not safe. It's just that simple. Dont be there.

Jim

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

In my opinion he has already assaulted you through words and the instillation of fear. I would not return. Further, I would refer the case to the Adult Protection Agency. Someone needs to discern whether or not he is interferring with his wife's health.

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I agree wholeheartily!! I am hoping you have had the needed conversation with your supervisor. Do you have an update? I am so very concerned about what will happen when his wife DOES die. I believe it was Earle (sorry if I am wrong, hon) who said she was punched in the face by a family member once when their loved one died. What would have happened if that person had access to a gun. God help us all!!!!

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