Sometimes... do you hate your pts?

[FRESH_90]

Taking my pre-reqs right now. Maybe it's just a series of unfortunate encounters, or time spent being treated like a dog in the food industry, I don't know... but I often find I have little faith in humanity. People can behave as if they are so entitled. They can be so rude and tactless and downright mean! Pardon me but I grew up in a family of kind people. I was taught to respect others and to put others before myself. By the way, although when I was very young we attended church, I didn't need a religion to teach me this! It's called being human and not just thinking of yourself. Funny, because I've found the church-going people in my town are often the biggest culprits of cruel and unkind behavior.

Anyway, I know part of what I can bring to my future patients (I'm a student) is providing care that comes from the heart. But I'm not going to lie, I think at times it will be a clinical, realistic approach I take with some. I'm going to care more about getting them healthy and doing what is necessary rather than if they like me or get all their "wants"... that is, if they decide to treat me like a steaming pile.

Do you ever feel this way? "Hate" was an extreme word to use in this title... but do you as nurses ever look at a pt. and think "my God you are a terrible person and I hate being your nurse!" I'm talking about the people that verbally abuse you and make your life harder when you're trying to make their's better. That's why I say I think sometimes it will be more clinical than warm and fuzzy with some pts. I'll always do my best as a caregiver, but if they're going to do everything short of spit in my face, I don't have the patience to be warm and friendly anymore, and I'm not going to easily forgive them in my heart. I'm gonna make sure everything in my role as a nurse is taken care of, then walk out of that room and try not to think about how much I loathe them for their hatefulness.

I don't think what I've said applies to senior citizens (nursing homes) so much because they're not always all their and they've got different circumstances. I'm talking about sane, young to middle age adults that should know better.

...Don't you just get so mad sometimes? Also: what can you do at your job in these situations? Will you get in trouble if you kindly remind them:

You're a professional.

You have other patients and you will get to them. Or

There's no reason to talk to you that way and they should stop?

Because I've only ever worked in the corporate service industry, and you are basically not allowed to reprimand a customer or ask for respect. You must always swallow your pride, eat your words, and apologize even if you've done nothing wrong.

[Turd Ferguson]

Sometimes I like my patients.

[kristinecrooks]

I read your post and I totally understand where you are coming from. I will say that I have had the tables turned on me lately and back to back surgeries and have become a patient. One that was in a tremendous amount of pain because I threw up my pain meds so we couldn't stay on top of them. I was admitted to the hospital and writhing in pain. I wanted to die. I was throwing up by now because of the pain. I did not have the strength or patience or time to have manners. I needed help and urgently. When my pain subsided, I was a different person.

Please try to put yourself in your patients shoes. They are scared, in pain, frustrated etc etc etc.....

[shhhh]

Will you get in trouble if you kindly remind them:

You're a professional.

You have other patients and you will get to them. Or

There's no reason to talk to you that way and they should stop?

Because I've only ever worked in the corporate service industry, and you are basically not allowed to reprimand a customer or ask for respect. You must always swallow your pride, eat your words, and apologize even if you've done nothing wrong.

I've never allowed ANYONE to talk to me disrespectfully, so why should I allow it when I'm on the clock? If you give people an inch with their behavior, they will take a mile, so I'm all about sticking up for myself from the beginning, hopefully nipping rude behavior in the bud so it doesn't get out of hand.

So, yes, I've reminded patients that I will not be spoken to that way. I've never gotten in trouble, and you shouldn't get in trouble for it! If you do, you don't want to work for a place that condones abusive behavior towards nurses.

Sometimes I like my patients.

Well said, Mister Turd!

[kristinecrooks]

Honey. People do not try to attack you. don't take it personally. It's ok to take one for the team sometimes. Working out helps to alleviate stress. I will say that before I became a nurse, I was in corp America. I have a Masters in Business, people are rude everywhere. People are under alot of pressure these days and under the gun. More pressure than we can handle. It's how you handle the situation. With class. That's how. You can do it just take a breath and think.... it's not about me. It's about them and they are not happy today. Pay it forward to kill em with kindness! You chose a caring industry. Maybe they are reacting to you??

[Sparrowhawk]

Sometimes I like my patients.

Smarty pants.

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

We see people at their worst, and because of this, indeed sometimes I do lose faith in humanity. There have even been times that I've almost resented my patients but luckily I realized the issue lied with me and with having severe compassion fatigue and since then I've been able to take needed steps to help myself cope with the beast that nursing can be at times.

Bottom line we're all human and we all can't be angels of mercy all the time, the best thing to do is to just try to work on your own attitudes and reactions to such behaviors and make sure that your patient's issues don't become your own.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

...Don't you just get so mad sometimes? Also: what can you do at your job in these situations? Will you get in trouble if you kindly remind them:

You're a professional.

You have other patients and you will get to them. Or

There's no reason to talk to you that way and they should stop?

Because I've only ever worked in the corporate service industry, and you are basically not allowed to reprimand a customer or ask for respect. You must always swallow your pride, eat your words, and apologize even if you've done nothing wrong.

Yes, you do go mad sometimes. You burn out and get ready to throw in the towel. Or maybe, that is just me. You give and you give and do everything you can and it is not enough, ever. It might depend on where you work with regards to reminding a patient of any of the things you mentioned. It also might depend on who you are and where you rank in the political hierarchy and who the pt is. I have worked mostly in other customer service jobs and it is just like you mentioned. For the most part you always have to swallow your pride etc. It is the same way in nursing. But it never got to me as much as it has as a nurse. For example, having visitors yell and treat me like garbage because I didn't get them chairs fast enough. Well, on my way down the hall I could HEAR that one of my other pt's needed to have his/her trach suctioned. It got me very angry. Because I was accused of providing poor nursing care (by the visitors/ignorant walkie talkie pt) for not getting pt's visitors chairs fast enough. I didn't tell them that someone else's airway is a higher priority. Why waste my time and possible get reprimended for ruining their illusion that we have 1:1 nursing care. People don't understand this. They think it is a first come fist served industry.The customers were nicer in the restaurant industry. lol You will have plenty of pt's visitors standing angry in the halls glaring at you for standing at the computer. Meanwhile you are looking up IMPORTANT LIFE AND DEATH information on another patient or paging a doctor, etc. I am rambling but I don't care since it is therapeutic. Kudos for anyone who read any of this! lol

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

I read your post and I totally understand where you are coming from. I will say that I have had the tables turned on me lately and back to back surgeries and have become a patient. One that was in a tremendous amount of pain because I threw up my pain meds so we couldn't stay on top of them. I was admitted to the hospital and writhing in pain. I wanted to die. I was throwing up by now because of the pain. I did not have the strength or patience or time to have manners. I needed help and urgently. When my pain subsided, I was a different person.

Please try to put yourself in your patients shoes. They are scared, in pain, frustrated etc etc etc.....

If you don't have iv pain meds ordered and I have tried repostioning, visualization techniques, and am waiting for the dr to get back to me about ordering another medication, why should I be yelled at? This seems pretty common where I work. I def understand that the pt is in pain etc but why should i have to tolerate his/her rude behavior. But I do with a smile then I come here to whine.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

I've never allowed ANYONE to talk to me disrespectfully, so why should I allow it when I'm on the clock? If you give people an inch with their behavior, they will take a mile, so I'm all about sticking up for myself from the beginning, hopefully nipping rude behavior in the bud so it doesn't get out of hand.

So, yes, I've reminded patients that I will not be spoken to that way. I've never gotten in trouble, and you shouldn't get in trouble for it! If you do, you don't want to work for a place that condones abusive behavior towards nurses.

Well said, Mister Turd!

Can you give examples of how you nip this behavior as a nurse? I can do it in my personal life but not as a nurse or in other work settings. I am afraid of upsetting the "customer" as pathetic as that sounds.

[ledzepfan]

While I wouldn't say I hate some of my pts, I understand your frustration completely.

I hate the behavior and it's much more tolerated in society.

If you need to be more dry and clinical with some people than that's what you'll have to do

to cope, you'll never really change their behavior and you're not there to make friends with

them anyway.

Just don't shut your compassion off for those pts that really need and deserve it. Believe me,

they DO appreciate it.

As for the observation that religious people can be the worst offenders, I've noticed that too

and I just don't know why that is.

Some people are just a$$holes and they're the same people that go down the road and lash out at

every unfortunate service person they come in contact with. Don't wear their negativeness,

brush it off and go on.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Sometimes I like my patients, but they have a day when they are driving me crazy and I don't want to be in their room.

I have definitely had patients I couldn't stand (like the OHS pre-op who told me I had provided him with the best "fantasies" on my last morning signing off on him). Ugh I could have slapped him, and verbally did!

There are people everywhere we won't get along with, when I get a patient like that I often do my best to manage whatever their most pressing need is, which is often pain medicine, and give them peace and quiet. If they run me too hard then I request they be rotated on my next shift.

In the end everyone deserves good care, prompt medicines, and a chance to get better.