Some questions for nurses married to nurses

Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN · May 13, 2009

Hubby and I are nurses, but I don't practice anymore. I am a work-at-home medical transcriptionist. Hubby was a OTR trucker for 20+ years before he went to nursing school.

We met at work. We really had a great time working together. The coworkers started the rumor mill spinning before we even started dating.

Our situation is a bit different than yours since we were strangers before working together. I had a good experience.

kdsrn · May 13, 2009

My husband and I are both nurses. I am pedi and he cares for adults. It has worked out great for us. We have worked in the same facility and at different facilities. Both have worked out fine. It has been really nice because we understand when the other is working late, sad due to a patient dying, etc. We are also lucky because since we work with different populations we can use each other as a resource.

jackson145 · May 13, 2009

I didn't care much for having my husband (ex now!) working as a LPN at the local nursing home. Apparently, being surrounded by mostly female coworkers was just more than he could handle & still behave himself.

15 years as a cop, working with all men & he never cheated. 1 year in LTC & he was sneaking around with another nurse & seeing a CNA on the side.

Oh well, easy come easy go. Now I'm through nursing school & making more than he & the girlfriend combined. :lol2:

jlcole45 · May 13, 2009

I was the nurse first and later my husband became a nurse (much to my surprise). He is excellent at it. We have worked at the same facilities, though not the same floors, over the years and we are very lucky that we get along really well. He now works FT in ED and I am the weekend supervisor (though I am not his direct supervisor so it's allowed), I also work PRN in the ED.

We've never had a problem working together, but this was a second marriage for both of us. When we met we were both looking for the right life time companion. I consider myself lucky because I really Like my husband as a person -- I can't say that about my first husband who I married for all the wrong reasons.

I did leave nursing for about 3 years and although my hubby and I have other things in common, there definitely was a gap in my understanding of what was going on at work. When I returned to nursing a couple of years ago, I went and worked on the same unit as my hubby and it was great - it was nice having someone I knew and could trust.

It's never been a problem for us, but like I said we actually are friends as well as partners. Now that doesn't mean that we are joined at the hip, we have our separate interests out side of work.

You have to evaluate your relationship with your husband. I think me having more experience then he did was too my advantage because my hubby is smarter then me, but I have more experience so it evens out the playing field.

The other thing we have going for us is that we've been married nearly 20 years and so we are past most of the rough spots that one experiences as newlyweds and we have reached a really good place in our relationship.

Aneroo, LPN · May 13, 2009

My husband and I met in nursing school! We've worked for the same facilities, but different units. We have different wants- I haven't done true bedside nursing since nursing school, and that's all he's done. It was fun to get to take him a patient from the ER to the floor though, to give him report. :) We're about to move and work at the same facility, but we will be working on different floors.

Positives: Cheaper insurance (he will put himself and child on one, and I'll cover myself, it's cheaper than getting family). We get to ride together to work. We have some wicked dinner conversations that would make most people vomit. :lol2: It's lovely to come home and vent to someone who knows exactly what in the world you're talking about.

Negatives: If there is an emergency and we both had to be called into work, we'd have to find childcare for our daughter (luckily, we'll have friends in town). We work somewhat different shifts (he'll work days, I work 7-3), but b/c my shift is shorter, we can manage daycare (plus daycare is through the hospital, so they're open late). HIPAA- While someone whose spouse doesn't work in the hospital could come home and vent about the crazy patient without giving out too much detail, chances are I took care of them in the ER. We have to be careful about what we say.

eriksoln, BSN, RN · May 13, 2009

Nurse married to a nurse here. As a rule of thumb, we dont mind working at the same hospitals, but dont do the same unit. That gets old.

We also dont bring work home. That takes on added significance cause, your partner is at home on a day off, trying to forget about the nursing career and focus on home life, and here comes the sig. other who wants to vent about work. Day off is blown. Its just a rule, unless its to discuss days off or schedule or something of that nature (plans for the future ect) we dont talk shop, ever.

Working in the same hospital is not problem. Especially if we follow the no shop talk rule.

reecie54 · May 13, 2009

My partner and I are both nurses, working critical care. We have worked the same and different facilities. When in the same hospital, we try to work different units. We provide a great support for each other as well as the occasional resource. We worked mostly the same shifts, with minor variations to give ourselves "me time". The hardest part is not taking your work home. We need to respect when one needs to vent, but also respect when one says "I can't talk or hear about work right now".

I love that we are both nurses though.

Cindy-san · May 13, 2009

My hosp doesn't allow family members to work together on the same unit & same shift. I know a mother-daughter and husband-wife who were told they'd have to work opposite shifts. The daughter went to another unit and I think the husband is switching as well.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · May 13, 2009

Well, I'm glad that the OP started this thread. I had wondered before if anyone else but me were husband and wife nurse teams.

I met my dh back in 1990 when I had not been out of high school long, and my dh was already working as a nursing supervisor. He is 10 years older than me, so at the time, we really didn't know each other very well. We worked together off and on for the next couple of years.

Then, about 10 or 11 years ago, circumstances changed and we were working a lot more closely with each other. We had both been married and divorced by then, and got to know each other a lot better.Five years ago, we got married, and were working together, not on the same unit, but both working the same shift, and he was still supervising and me as a charge nurse on one of the inpatient units and also in the ER.

One of the newer management type nurses saw us talking in the nurses station one day about having lunch that day, and she apparently thought we were talking about something else - not really sure what, exactly. After dh left the unit and went downstairs, the management type new nurse pulled me aside and said, "You do know he's married, right?" I said, "Well, yes, and I'm married also." At that time, I didn't realize she didn't know we were married to each other and she thought we had something "dirty" going on. I finally stopped her and said, "You do know we are married to EACH OTHER, right?!" You should have seen the look on her face! She turned so many different shades of red, and was so embarrassed. She said she didn't realize we were married to each other, and after that day, she and I laughed about that pretty often.

But we have worked together in different facilities since we got married, since the facility doesn't have a policy against that, and have never had any trouble - we can both tell when the other has had "one of those days" and we vent or act as a sounding board ect. We very seldomly have much trouble bringing home work trouble or anything like that, thank goodness.

Not only is Brian my hubbie and the love of my life, but he is definetly my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him. A few years ago, I started having a lot of trouble with my health and I have retired due to those problems so I'm a stay at home mom to an 11 year old son and my little weinie doggie, Sissie.

Anne, RNC