Social Skills Should Be a Bigger Focus in Nursing School

[Kenneth S. Veillon]

So many new grads are unprepared for the social aspect of the field. They almost unilaterally complain of personality conflicts with peers and management and frequently leave the whole field because they aren't able to deal with personalities. 

In my opinion, this needs to be addressed in regards to the preperation of new grads.

[Babyboss 19, MSN, APRN]

I disagree with the idea that social skills cannot be taught. Social skills are mostly taught, through adapting to cultural norms in the workplace and reflection on personal experiences.  This cannot be solely achieved in 3 semesters of nursing school, which, is not a mirror image of the real working world.  

Not so Soft Skills like communication and empathy are nurtured through mentoring and coaching on the job.  It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to be admin or CNS that does this alone.  We nurses can do this ourselves by making a coffee run with a baby nurse or offering to help with patient care. Have a "talk and turn" - help them with a patient care task and start a conversation about empathy.  Some people, despite best efforts, just never proverbially 'get it'.  Culture is learned. Model what you want to see in others. 

[vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

I wonder what the next 10 years will bring with zoom nation as the normal.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

7 minutes ago, vintagegal said:

I wonder what the next 10 years will bring with zoom nation as the normal.

You're anticipating this? Further pandemic issues or something else...?

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

The pandemic is not over. The new variants bursting out of India are not a mirage. I think the original projection of 2-3 years before we get a reliable handle on lethal coronaviruses is possibly quite accurate.

Zoom is not going away anyhow— in some ways it’s an enhancement for long distance relationships that I’d be loath to give up. 

[LovingLife123]

The expectation in society today is you must be nice and chipper to everyone, and everybody must be included in every single thing.  You must like and love everyone.  And if you don’t spread cheeriness, love everyone, and talk positive all the time, then you are called a bully. This is in every aspect of our society.

Some days, I just don’t feel like being social.  For the most part I am, but if I have a lot on my mind, or maybe am having a bad day, I don’t want to connect and talk with people.  Everyone has bad moods, or don’t feel particularly happy all of the time.  Some days I just want to do my job and be left alone.  That’s it.  For some reason we aren’t allowed to feel that way.  
 

And I’ll be honest, I don’t like every, single, person on my unit.  I’m professional with everyone.   But, that doesn’t mean I have to be your best friend and go hang out after work with you.  
 

I don’t see this changing any time soon.  I think it’s a part of why suicide is going up.  People think they aren’t allowed to ever be sad or have negative feelings.  They think there is something wrong with them if they do.  Kids think there is some type of utopian world where everyone is constantly happy.  They don’t know how to deal with disappointment and feelings so they feel hopeless and think the only way out is too die.  

[JKL33]

On 5/18/2021 at 5:15 PM, Kenneth S. Veillon said:

They almost unilaterally complain of personality conflicts with peers and management and frequently leave the whole field because they aren't able to deal with personalities. 

Not even sure if your premise is true.

I do think that people don't like to be treated like crap as a matter of routine. I think there is a huge discrepancy between the way that staff nurses are supposed to conduct themselves vs. the conduct they are supposed to accept from others (superiors and employers, specifically).

It would be one thing if this really were about not being able to "deal with personalities;" personally I think what is being rejected, if anything, is the meddling, nitpicking, blaming, scapegoating and vilifying that goes on towards staff nurses, who do not control the resources needed to provide excellent patient care. It affects everything.

I'm glad that some are willing to reject this kind of treatment. And it doesn't bother me if their rejection involves leaving nursing.

 

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

54 minutes ago, LovingLife123 said:

.  I think it’s a part of why suicide is going up.

Oddly, suicide stats are down over the last 14 months. 

[CABGpatch_RN, BSN]

When did Nursing become a focus on how new nurses feel?  Seriously?

When I was a new grad, I learned from one of the very first...ever, flight nurses in the US.  I learned from nurses who were present in the CVICU during the very first....ever heart transplant in the US.  I learned from that transplant doctor and SO many ah-mazing nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, and every single ancillary staff member.  I learned from nurses who took the profession of nursing with the utmost respect....commanding that respect.  It wasn't about them, it wasn't about me, it was about the patients, the team and working toward a common goal.  Their teaching was ongoing for years and years.  I always knew who I could go to.

Sure, some of those teachers of mine were old(er) and a little crusty and impatient at times, but that was because there wasn't time to coddle new nurses.  The patient required, frequently, immediate attention.  If I was cowering in a corner somewhere because I felt uncared for, then I would have missed the massively important learning opportunities that were happening before my eyes.  They made me do it!  I wasn't allowed to cower.  Did I take that personally?  Heck No!  

I was made to feel it wasn't about me.  And I will be forever grateful for that lesson.  There were new nurses who would avoid these types of nurses because they were afraid or whatever of them.  But I was drawn to them.  I understood what they were trying to accomplish....delivering outstanding patient-focused care.  There was never a single thing made out to be or taken personally.  Again.  No time for that nonsense.  They made me gain the confidence I needed to be an excellent, patient-focused RN, that was their expectation of me.  Confidence was required and that came with the thousands of a-ha moments I had.

I have been a preceptor too many times to count.  I mentored SO many in CVICU.  I projected much of what I learned early on.  I helped new nurses realize their capabilities by teaching and requiring demonstration of what they learned.  I prompted and lead to them think for themselves.  I lived for the light bulb lighting up in their eyes when they truly began to understand the whys and how's and consequences of what they were doing.

Why isn't stuff like my experience taught in nursing school about who a new nurse will be learning from?  It was in my education.  Expectations were set from the get-go about who would be my teachers in the bedside setting.  I learned early on that preceptors and others were taking their time to teach ME.  They didn't have to do it.

I think new nurses need to get over themselves and soak up every bit of everything related to patient care, workflows, resources.  It's not about you.  It's about the profession of nursing and how to gain confidence and command respect in that regard.  Only YOU can make that happen.  Why is any attention whatsoever given to work drama?  Your focus, 100%, is patient centered.

Teaching social skills?  Um no.  Teaching what realistic expectations of new nurses will be by their preceptors?  Yes.  Remember preceptors are not only ensuring the management of their patients is safe and focused on excellent evidence-based nursing care, they have the added responsibility of their preceptee doing the same.

All I can think of saying is, be an adult professional.  This nonsense of hurt feelings does nothing good for professional nursing.

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

2 minutes ago, CABGpatch_RN said:

I think new nurses need to get over themselves and soak up every bit of everything related to patient care, workflows, resources.  It's not about you.  It's about the profession of nursing and how to gain confidence and command respect in that regard.  Only YOU can make that happen.  Why is any attention whatsoever given to work drama?  Your focus, 100%, is patient centered.

Teaching social skills?  Um no.  Teaching what realistic expectations of new nurses will be by their preceptors?  Yes.

All I can think of saying is, be an adult professional.  This nonsense of hurt feelings does nothing good for professional nursing.

I deeply regret that I can only "like" this once.

(old Stanford CVICU and critical care transport nurse here)

[CABGpatch_RN, BSN]

5 minutes ago, Hannahbanana said:

I deeply regret that I can only "like" this once.

(old Stanford CVICU and critical care transport nurse here)

We might know each other.  North Nurses are the cream of the crop.  My daughter works there now. ?

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

I was there when the old E2B unit split into Medical, Surgical, and (out back) Respiratory, and the North ICU opened for CV and transplants. We had a choice of which one to go to, and I did a lot of the transplant donor transports and so I went up the ramp. Last I heard, though, they had central monitors so the nurse were taking more than 2 pts in adjacent rooms... not cool.

[CABGpatch_RN, BSN]

12 minutes ago, Hannahbanana said:

I was there when the old E2B unit split into Medical, Surgical, and (out back) Respiratory, and the North ICU opened for CV and transplants. We had a choice of which one to go to, and I did a lot of the transplant donor transports and so I went up the ramp. Last I heard, though, they had central monitors so the nurse were taking more than 2 pts in adjacent rooms... not cool.

Absolutely poorly designed.  If one has a 2  patient assignment, there can be multiple rooms between them.  Even if the assignment is two rooms next to each other there are no windows in-between rooms.  So if a nurse gets caught up in one room, it is impossible to have eyes on their other patient.  There are places to sit outside of rooms with windows looking in (which as you know is completely opposite of the unique set-up of old North).  If a nurse is lucky enough to have side-by-side rooms, they have that space outside the rooms to look in.  But man.  This kind of set-up, even at E2, was unheard of back in the day (E2 didn't move to new bldg so it's still the same set-up, I think).  Back then, couldn't even leave the room to pee without having another nurse with eyes on your patient(s) and usually that was the float nurse.  

Super cool that you may be someone who I learned from!!  LOL!