Sober Living

Kids are interesting, they can go either way. We are a blended family, my husband has 4 kids and I have two. They are all adults now. I should mention that we are also both in recovery. My kids saw me and never wanted anything to do with chemicals. My husband's kids saw him, two went the straight and narrow and two went the way of drugs.

I think about the best thing we can do is live by example. Show them the benefits of a life lived sober. Realizing that there is a genetic component, we warned our children of what could happen. Some listened, some didn't.

As parents, we always want the best for our kids. But, they have their own path and their own little silver strand to God, and we're not it. I've not always been the best example, I can share honestly about what happens when drugs/alcohol take over. I can live a better example now. If it works and they listen, great. If they don't, tough love and a strong constitution for the inevitable fall-out. We don't have to enable, but we can counsel and be there when they have moments of clarity.

The hardest part is realizing that once they are adults, at some point you just have to pray, give them to the God of their understanding and leave them be.

Best of luck on your journey, and YES: Sobriety is awesome!

I grew up in a very strict sheltered home. My mom was a single mother of three and my whole family, aunts, cousins, grandpa all had a history of addiction so she wanted to keep my brothers away from it all. I understand what and why she did the things she did but it only made me curious. I don't have an addictive personality but as soon as I could I was out making stupid decisions that could of potentially led to an addiction or even worse. My thoughts are be open about it. I know that if I would have felt like my mother trusted me and allowed me to go hangout with people then I wouldn't have been so curious. Trust your parenting skills, let him know that no matter what he can talk to you or call you in a scary situation. If I felt like I could of called my mom in different situations things might of been different.

Thank you both for the great advice! Once last question. While I’m open and try to be very forth coming about my past , I’ve never spilled all the dirty details of my drug past. It came mostly before he was born, but I did have a relapse when he was just a baby.......is all that necessary to divulge?

Thank you! I agree!

On 5/10/2019 at 10:27 AM, Goodlife29 said:

Thank you both for the great advice! Once last question. While I’m open and try to be very forth coming about my past , I’ve never spilled all the dirty details of my drug past. It came mostly before he was born, but I did have a relapse when he was just a baby.......is all that necessary to divulge?

I have been in sobriety for 14 years. No, you do not have to tell your children the gory details. Honesty with yourself, your support at meetings, and your sponsor or counselor are the only things that matter.

Just let your son know that you worry (as ANY parent would) because of peer pressure and the tragedy that happened in your town, and keep the line of communication open.

Congratulations on your continued sobriety.