So TIRED OF IT

[ThePrincessBride]

I'm so over it. I'm so over dealing with ahole patients who are so entitled and disrespectful to staff and think that they are in some damn hotel with room service. I'm so over management choosing to side WITH these patients and not backing up staff. I am tired of the ridiculous pay, the crazy assignments, over-the-top patients, the cliques, and how hospital-based care is now some big business and how I am a glorified pill-pushing waitress. I'm tired of patients cursing at me, lying, manipulating and everything.

I'm tired of not feeling supported by management. I don't feel like I can talk to my manager. I am no-nonsense and I don't tolerate absolute disrespect or cursing from completely alert and oriented young people. Yet the manager thinks *I* am the problem and states I should take a class in how to deal with difficult patients....but seems to forget that these patients have a tendency to fire MULTIPLE nurses and even entire hospitals/nursing homes.

No. Nurses aren't the problem. PATIENTS and SOCIETY are the problem. Don't get me wrong. Not every patient or their family is bad...but the ones who are rotten ruin everything. And they are becoming more frequent.

Am I the only one who thinks nurses shouldn't have to put up with nonsense? We should be allowed to say that being cursed out or told to shut up by "with it" patients is unacceptable. Would you go over your manager's head to the Director of Nursing to have this addressed?

I am ready to escape the bedside. I am done with adult med/surg (which I do on a contingent basis). Any other contingent jobs out there that are decent paying and not at the bedside? I am done with acute care for adults...it keeps getting worse and worse.

[SmilingBluEyes]

This is a hot topic. I hate to see members insult other members' reading comprehension. That just takes away from this important topic. If we feel tempted to insult others, it's time we step back, breathe and take a break.

Other than that, I can't say anything not said here before. Just be kind.

[Susie2310]

This is a hot topic. I hate to see members insult other members' reading comprehension. That just takes away from this important topic. If we feel tempted to insult others, it's time we step back, breathe and take a break.

Other than that, I can't say anything not said here before. Just be kind.

I assume you are referring to my comment which was based on another poster's comment to me. I was stating a fact and there is no insult. So here is the discussion and my justification for my comment - read my second paragraph where I quoted part of my earlier post to the poster:

Quote from pixierose

But YOU are suggesting that abusive behavior from patients is acceptable.

Stalking behavior is not acceptable. It is NEVER acceptable.

When I get floated to the other parts of the ED - THAT is when I see patients, and their families, behaving badly. Yelling about remotes, complaining that their room has no view, interrupting staff members when they are interacting with other patients and becoming verbally abusive when informed that they will be taken care of momentarily.

There is a line where their stress and duress can explain only so much. Complaining? Ok. Yelling obscenities? No. Stalking? No. Throwing? No. Do I receive this behavior a lot? No. But I shouldn't receive this behavior at all, nor should any nurse, tech, respiratory therapist, PT, OT, physician...

From Susie2310

.

"No, I'm not suggesting that abuse from patients is acceptable. To help your reading comprehension here's part of what I said in my last comment to you again:

"Now, just to clarify, no-one is suggesting that abusive behavior from patients/family members is acceptable, but the great majority of patient/family member behavior is not abusive, and usually there is enough time for an observant nurse to recognize when a situation is escalating and to take steps to de-escalate it. Again, one of the ways to de-escalate patients/family members becoming upset/angry is to listen to their concerns, acknowledge them, look at them when they are talking to you, don't cross your arms when they are speaking, and show them by your actions that you are doing your best to help them."

You sound very defensive with lack of empathy towards patients/family members. I have posted my comment to you again, as I think you could benefit from reading it and reflecting on it:

"You sound as though you are struggling for insight into patients' behavior. You ask why your father behaved uncharacteristically; I'll offer a suggestion - he was suddenly in a situation that was very stressful for him. I already explained in my earlier post that you reacted to some of the stressors that patients and family members experience. As nurses we are expected to make allowances for patients/family members behavior. You are offended that a patient/family member raises their voice; ask yourself what they are experiencing at that moment; delays in diagnosis and treatment are common stressors and can mean the difference between life and death or serious permanent injury for a patient.

No, when people are stressed receiving medical/nursing care of course they don't behave as calmly and reasonably as they would otherwise. I am very surprised that this seems to be a foreign concept to you, but there are numerous continuing education courses available that could help you to further your understanding on this subject that may also increase your compassion towards your patients and their families. Without the ability to feel empathy it is really difficult to form good relationships with patients/family members.

I'll give another example; I was recently in the ED with a family member who was receiving care. From the very beginning, from triage, the nurses made poor eye contact with both of us. Body language is very important. You have to look at people when you are talking to them if you want to communicate well with them; you are not delivering a monologue; and if you do this, don't be surprised when patients/family members don't respond well to this and find you to be rude and unapproachable and become defensive.

Now, just to clarify, no-one is suggesting that abusive behavior from patients/family members is acceptable, but the great majority of patient/family member behavior is not abusive, and usually there is enough time for an observant nurse to recognize when a situation is escalating and to take steps to de-escalate it. Again, one of the ways to de-escalate patients/family members becoming upset/angry is to listen to their concerns, acknowledge them, look at them when they are talking to you, don't cross your arms when they are speaking, and show them by your actions that you are doing your best to help them."

Edit Reply Quote

by Susie2310

I think you'll see that no unkindness was intended, and that no insult is present, just the intention of bringing what I had already said to the poster to their attention when they said: "But you are suggesting that abusive behavior from patients is acceptable" when I had ALREADY said to this person that no-one had suggested that abusive behavior from patients is acceptable.

[Emergent, RN]

...You have to look at people when you are talking to them if you want to communicate well with them; you are not delivering a monologue; and if you do this, don't be surprised when patients/family members don't respond well to this and find you to be rude and unapproachable and become defensive. ...

Eye contact is not welcomed in some cultures actually. It's considered rude.

[Susie2310]

Eye contact is not welcomed in some cultures actually. It's considered rude.

Yes, of course that's true and I am aware of that. My comment obviously couldn't apply to every possible situation.

[guest52816]

Eye contact is not welcomed in some cultures actually. It's considered rude.

You are right!

Patients must be treated as individuals.

What works for one, won't necessarily work for another.

Some patients are also manipulative.

Eye contact won't help much. However, setting boundaries, and sticking to those boundaries will go a long way.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Assume nothing about my post.

I see a lot of posts taking away from the original topic/points made by the OP.

We are better than that. I have done the same in my posts here on this site from time to time. The minute I insult someone else, I am guilty and have lost the interest of the other person. They won't hear anything else I say if I do that. I have learned this by personal experience.

I know I can do better. That's all. OP I can only say I feel your pain.

[Susie2310]

Assume nothing about my post.

I see a lot of posts taking away from the original topic/points made by the OP.

We are better than that. I have done the same in my posts here on this site from time to time. The minute I insult someone else, I am guilty and have lost the interest of the other person. They won't hear anything else I say if I do that. I have learned this by personal experience.

I know I can do better. That's all. OP I can only say I feel your pain.

I didn't assume anything about your comment to me; I just responded to your words as written.

[Emergent, RN]

Yes, of course that's true and I am aware of that. My comment obviously couldn't apply to every possible situation.

That was a very long post, why didn't you mention that within it?

There is no one formula for interacting with patients. I, personally, hate it when my healthcare providers give me canned responses that I know they learned in a class or in service.

"I hear what you're saying". "We care about you " Eye contact, light touch to shoulder, ugh!

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

It's about more than just making eye contact. It's about one's whole conduct. Have you read the Nurses' Code of Ethics? It sounds as though you haven't, and as a licensed nurse you really should know what it says.

See my previous post for what I said about actions nurses can take to de-escalate patient/family member behavior when they are becoming upset or angry.

Quite an assumptive jump, that bit about other nurses being unfamiliar with the Code of Ethics. Also, being ethical does NOT equal being a doormat..

[Ms_Interpret]

Yo, Susie...Step away from the keyboard and go find a punching bag or something.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Some patients and visitors are problematic.

You still need to learn to cope with them. Take the recommended class.

And you will find difficult wherever you are, at the bedside or not.

Learn and grow. Take the class.

One big step - realize that you don't have to reply to every word or gesture or whatever they say or do.

Also - you can say "I can help you".

Or, if possible without messing up your schedule, say "I'll be back in a bit. I just remembered something I have to do right now". And leave.

Just long enough to get yourself calmed down and feeling better towards them.

That's another thing. Remember that, on at least some level, the people are sick.

Take the class and learn some coping skills. Life will go better for you.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Yikes sorry... I would hate that kind of management too.

I don't have any suggestions though, sorry, except escape all jobs that provide human services. My husband works with computers and seems very happy.

I suggest that people who are being treated so poorly get their lawmakers involved. Speak up. Take action. Very few ever do this, it seems. They just complain and commiserate. Wake up, people. Act like you've got a pair (Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in the movie about Vietnam)