So tired and hopeless

Nurses Recovery

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Hi well thank you everyone that has responded to my post, I haven't logged on in a while. I have been to so many interviews I have lost count. I hadn't worked in 9 1/2 years I found a job in mar of 2014 and was terminated on may 21,2014 for something that should have never occured. The DON didn't even give me a chance to rectify the situation she just termed me and reported me to the board and now I am under investigation and have been since the day she reported me in May. I already have restrictions and should have never taken that position in that place.....i didn't go with the little voice that tells you "don't do it."- so anxious to return to work as a nurse I took the position anyway. So now on top of the long list of restrictions, I have to explain terminated and restrictions...and just the unknown of what is going to happen to me when they are done with their investigation!!! I can't even afford an attorney. I dont even have a job right now. As soon as I get up in the morning I am putting out applications...going to facilities. But every interview is the same as the one before. They explain everything about their company and how great it is and so glad to have me there, but as soon as I bring up the restrictions its all over. If this has happend to anyone let me know..I just couldn't believe I already had restrictions and now under investigation again.

Take a deep breath. I have so been there, done that: Freaking out, my life will never be right, no one will ever hire me, I don't think I can keep going...Deep breath. My life has worked out wonderfully, I have a decent job, and I will make it all the way if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You can only change what you can change--if other people can't or won't work with you, consider it their loss and move on; keep knocking on doors, be as positive as you can, and always remember that tomorrow is another day (Scarlett O'Hara is not exactly my hero, but she got that one right). We nurses are resourceful people and you can do this--we will help you, others will help you. I work in corrections--as few narcotics as possible, LVN/LPN's are welcome, and they always need help; it's very structured, and the people are well-versed in human imperfections! Just a suggestion--give it a try, it might be more welcoming than you think. Anyway, you can do this--keep doing the next right thing and keep moving: you will get through this!

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Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.

just keep trying to do the next "right" thing....it will work out

just dog gone challenging, "accepting life on life's terms"

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I totally agree--it is challenging, and sometimes just plain exhausting. But life on life's terms doesn't have to be a burden--Rome was not built in a day. You don't wake up one day and everything is perfect. You do not resolve to change and expect that you suddenly be a whole different person. You can not expect that of yourself or you will find yourself mired in failure, with all the negative self-talk and hopeless/helpless feelings that entails. It's a process, and if you can remember that you are not perfect and don't have to be, that you are worth love and forgiveness--from yourself as well as others, and that it is not "getting there" that is the goal but what you learn and do and give along the way that matters, you will be OK. Really, you will. Give yourself space to be human, and refuse to give up. You will be OK.

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I totally agree--it is challenging, and sometimes just plain exhausting. But life on life's terms doesn't have to be a burden--Rome was not built in a day. You don't wake up one day and everything is perfect. You do not resolve to change and expect that you will suddenly be a whole different person. You can not expect that of yourself or you will find yourself mired in failure, with all the negative self-talk and hopeless/helpless feelings that entails. It's a process, and if you can remember that you are not perfect and don't have to be, that you are worth love and forgiveness--from yourself as well as others, and that it is not "getting there" that is the goal but what you learn and do and give along the way that matters, you will be OK. Really, you will. Give yourself space to be human, and refuse to give up. You will be OK.

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Thanks for that cryssie, so can u give me an idea where I look for corrections jobs...is that like at prisons or jails. Ive seen openings but for like hospitals that say corrections then it says must have unrestricted license.

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Yes--jails and prisons. I will tell you that my DON has had experience with people in recovery before, so she was very understanding. But, like I said, actual prisons and jails usually try to avoid narcotics, because they are working with lots of addicts, and narcotics are not only likely to trigger addicts' cravings but can be used as currency in the prison/jail environment, with all the potential abuse and blackmail that can entail; so narcotics tend to be used very sparingly in this population. Now, locked-down hospital "corrections" units are a different matter--they are often dealing with acute issues, like surgeries, and so they do use narcotics relatively routinely. Most prisons and jails separate pill room duties from other duties--like handling routine illnesses and emergencies, so you would be able to do all those duties and not necessarily have to work with narcs at all; plus, the most help is needed during active day/afternoon times--they frequently need night people, too, but you are more likely to need narc access at night, for emergencies. Anyway, hope that helps--good luck!

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Thanks yes that helps alot.CryssieD I am so happy that I have everyone here who understands. Thanks to everyone for your input. I will keep trudging forward. Sometimes I do tend to throw myself a pitty party...and then start to wonder. By the way I finally found another job where I actually had to explain why I wasnt working as a nurse cuz they pulled up something that had an alert under my name. They still hired me its a call center for a fone company but I still had to explain why I wasnt practicing nursing, It was somewhat difficult to do so.

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I have wonderful news!!one of the places that previously turned me down due to my restrictions calld me back!!! I went today and I start wednesday!!!I am beyond excited and greatful to my God who doesnt leave me as negative as I get and as much as I have wanted to give up I didnt.He Guided me..and all your wonderful words to all who have responded to me A BIG THANK U AND MANY

HUGGS!!! I learned from the last place I was at. And something thatvwas previously said that its wat we do and learn along the way that counts.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Wow, congrats to you moving4wardLVN!

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Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.

i am so proud of you......

you have done "the next right thing"

remember you do not have to be "in love" with this job....

however; it is the stepping stone to work off stipulations.....

congrats! to "keeping your head up"

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Thank you ladies and I completely understand. It definitely is a start. I just wana get my foot in the door. But....I keep thinking negatively and everything that can go wrong...perhaps due to what happened to me previously...I dont want to think that way..I try to stop the thoughts as soon as they start.....and pray.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I wish you the very best. Keep up the great work!

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