So I guess it is true...

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Nurses really do eat their young.

Long story short. My last quarter's clinical instructor told me in feedback via paper, that I was good. Good in clinical. My last clinical, I made a mistake in accuchecks and made too many attempts to get an accucheck. I own up to my mistake and have not had any more problems in accucheck.

So this scholarship opportunities arises. I need a letter of recommendation. So, I e-mail her asking if she would be willing to give me a reference. No response. Tried again about a week later...still no response. So I email her a third time (the deadline is REALLY approaching) and she finally answers. Her answer? She is "uncomfortable" with my clinical skills and feels she won't be able to give me a good reference. And she waits FOUR days before the deadline even though I've emailed her twice before in 2.5 weeks.

This whole time she made me believe that I was doing a good job. Told me verbally and even in our comments papers. Not once did she tell me, outside of the accucheck incident, that I was doing anything wrong (told me I was doing very good).

So I e-mailed her back requesting a meeting for specific feedback, and I even typed out the misleading comments she gave me that made me believe I was doing good. I also told her that it is unacceptable to not give a student feedback and to check her off when he/she is doing something wrong.

I feel like if I don't get a meeting or if she isn't specific that I should file a complaint against her.

Luckily, my present clinical instructor says she will give me a recommendation. She says that my clinical skills are average but feels that if I work hard enough, I will be able to improve my skills.

Am I going about this the right way?

How would you know if she is teaching the necessary skills? You aren't a nurse. She is. Worry about yourself. Clearly you didn't read MY post. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, then practice. You should be focused on your education and not wasting energy on this. Everyone gets a bad clinical instructor a time or two. It happens. You don't have her anymore so be happy and MOVE ON

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Nurses really do eat their young.

Long story short. My last quarter's clinical instructor told me in feedback via paper, that I was good. Good in clinical. My last clinical, I made a mistake in accuchecks and made too many attempts to get an accucheck. I own up to my mistake and have not had any more problems in accucheck.

So this scholarship opportunities arises. I need a letter of recommendation. So, I e-mail her asking if she would be willing to give me a reference. No response. Tried again about a week later...still no response. So I email her a third time (the deadline is REALLY approaching) and she finally answers. Her answer? She is "uncomfortable" with my clinical skills and feels she won't be able to give me a good reference. And she waits FOUR days before the deadline even though I've emailed her twice before in 2.5 weeks.

This whole time she made me believe that I was doing a good job. Told me verbally and even in our comments papers. Not once did she tell me, outside of the accucheck incident, that I was doing anything wrong (told me I was doing very good).

So I e-mailed her back requesting a meeting for specific feedback, and I even typed out the misleading comments she gave me that made me believe I was doing good. I also told her that it is unacceptable to not give a student feedback and to check her off when he/she is doing something wrong.

I feel like if I don't get a meeting or if she isn't specific that I should file a complaint against her.

Luckily, my present clinical instructor says she will give me a recommendation. She says that my clinical skills are average but feels that if I work hard enough, I will be able to improve my skills.

Am I going about this the right way?

Not so much. When she didn't respond to your requests, I think you should have taken the hint that she didn't want to do it. When you finally did get a response that was not to your liking, you should have just dropped it and moved on. Your response to her was aggressive. I can guarantee you it will be remembered and talked about, and you never know if you may have to deal with her in the future. Even the person who agreed to write your LOR described your skills as average and in need of improvement.

This is not "eating our young." This is our young getting frank feedback that they don't want to hear. At this point, I think you should leave that nurse alone and in the future try to temper your response when someone gives you negative feedback.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
I think you are taking her words the wrong way. Just because she doesn't want to write a letter for you doesn't mean she should have failed you.

You are taking it WAY too personally. She didn't want to write you the letter, end of story. Same as if you got a "B" in Anatomy and the professor didn't want to write a letter. It doesn't mean you are a failure, just not a person they want to write a letter for.

And there is nothing ​wrong with getting a B!

And I'm okay with her not wanting to write one. I'm not okay with her never correcting me during clinical and telling me that I was good when I wasn't. It just seems...two-faced, you know?

I feel like if she was uncomfortable with my skills, she should have told me about my skills upfronts instead of lying to my face about it.

In nursing school, people treat "B's" like they are diseases. Lol. Everyone is type A.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
How would you know if she is teaching the necessary skills? You aren't a nurse. She is. Worry about yourself. Clearly you didn't read MY post. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, then practice. You should be focused on your education and not wasting energy on this. Everyone gets a bad clinical instructor a time or two. It happens. You don't have her anymore so be happy and MOVE ON

Uh...but I WAS comfortable. She wasn't and never verbalized to me what was wrong. And that is why I am upset.

She may be a nurse, but she is a poor instructor for not correcting me while on clinical and accepting something she was uncomfortable with.

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Two faced? No, I don't think that's the correct term. I'm sure there's another version of this story because I can't think of one reason for an instructor to tell a student they are doing well when they aren't. If you think it's acceptable to make a big stink over something petty like this then you may want to reconsider becoming an RN. Seriously.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
Not so much. When she didn't respond to your requests, I think you should have taken the hint that she didn't want to do it. When you finally did get a response that was not to your liking, you should have just dropped it and moved on. Your response to her was aggressive. I can guarantee you it will be remembered and talked about, and you never know if you may have to deal with her in the future. Even the person who agreed to write your LOR described your skills as average and in need of improvement.

This is not "eating our young." This is our young getting frank feedback that they don't want to hear. At this point, I think you should leave that nurse alone and in the future try to temper your response when someone gives you negative feedback.

It wasn't aggressive. I would post the message here, but I won't for other reasons. Yeah, I could have taken the hint, but I would have rather she had respond after the first one instead of waiting until the last minute. It does come off as malicious to me.

The problem is, she gave me positive feedback throughout are clinicals. And then this comes along. It comes off as dishonest and very rude for her to string me along like that. If I had been doing something that was SO uncomfortable, she should have corrected me.

I don't care if she remembers me and talks about it because I cannot respect someone who cannot be honest and upfront. Instead of taking me under her wing or pulling me aside to talk about my clinical skills, she lied to me. What part of that you do not understand? You don't tell someone they are good, as a clinical instructor, when you are not comfortable with their skills. IT IS UNSAFE.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
Two faced? No, I don't think that's the correct term. I'm sure there's another version of this story because I can't think of one reason for an instructor to tell a student they are doing well when they aren't. If you think it's acceptable to make a big stink over something petty like this then you may want to reconsider becoming an RN. Seriously.

She did. I have the written comments and she even verbally told me that I was doing well. Which is why I was upset...

And please don't stoop by telling me this is petty. Patient safety and competency aren't "petty" issues, and that is frightening that you think it is okay to pass / lie to students about their skills. It isn't.

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This has NOTHING to do with patient safety and EVERYTHING to do with lack of maturity on your part. I never said that it's okay to lie to students about their skills. You draw some pretty interesting conclusions for yourself. Good luck in nursing school, I'm sure you will do very well and be an AMAZING NURSE!!!!!!!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
This has NOTHING to do with patient safety and EVERYTHING to do with lack of maturity on your part. I never said that it's okay to lie to students about their skills. You draw some pretty interesting conclusions for yourself. Good luck in nursing school, I'm sure you will do very well and be an AMAZING NURSE!!!!!!!

I'm not sure if you are trying to be rude and sarcastic with that last line, but I don't appreciate it. I was really hurt by her comment, and I was hurt that she wasn't honest with me to begin with. I want to be great. Not mediocre. And I just wish she hadn't blind sided me like that.

I think I'm very mature. Mature enough to care. Mature enough to request a one-on-one meeting and to know how important it is to be competent in one's skills.

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I'm going to end by saying this. Doing well is not the same as a letter of recommendation. She doesn't want to write the letter, maybe because she's just lazy (who knows?), or maybe it's because of something sinister. You are definitely calling attention to the situation and it will reflect negatively on YOU not her. Work on what you need to work on, but I am trying to tell you... If she thought you should have been failed then she would have failed you. She thinks you need improvement but that doesn't mean she hasn't done her job (and it sounds like she was doing a good job, she gave you positive reinforcement and encouraged your skills).

Good luck, and please stop the complaint for your own well being.

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Get over it. She did not write you a letter of recommedation based on her assessment of your clinical skills. That is her opinion. Were you unsafe in your opinion? If you weren't, be confident and move on. You got your letter from another instructor, work to improve your clinical skills and move on. Your protesting too much leads to the belief that her assessment of your skills were accurate and your confidence is dropped a notch or two; now you're angry, hurt and maybe facing the truth? Hostilities will get you in a place where you DO NOT WANT TO BE!! If she is passing nursing student who, in your opinion, shouldn't be passed, that will be revealed.

And yes, nurses do eat their young, but not in this sceanario. We use alot ofchili sauce to help get them down.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
Get over it. She did not write you a letter of recommedation based on her assessment of your clinical skills. That is her opinion. Were you unsafe in your opinion? If you weren't, be confident and move on. You got your letter from another instructor, work to improve your clinical skills and move on. Your protesting too much leads to the belief that her assessment of your skills were accurate and your confidence is dropped a notch or two; now you're angry, hurt and maybe facing the truth? Hostilities will get you in a place where you DO NOT WANT TO BE!! If she is passing nursing student who, in your opinion, shouldn't be passed, that will be revealed.

And yes, nurses do eat their young, but not in this sceanario. We use alot ofchili sauce to help get them down.

I see compassion isn't your strong suit...

I'm angry because of the lack of honesty. I'm angry because she passed someone whose clinical skills made her uncomfortable. I want to be a great nurse. How am I going to be great when my clinical instructor didn't correct me and led me to believe I was more competent than I was?

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