Sick to my stomach....

Nurses New Nurse

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

Yes, it's another "Sick to my stomach" thread.

I have to work tonight, and I'm already feeling ill. Last time I worked, it was a two night run of sheer chaos. The first night, I worked straight through with no breaks because we were understaffed. I didn't see an aide all night, and did total care on all of my patients.

The second night, one of my patients was found on the floor ten minutes into my lunch break, and I came back to the floor to deal with it and never got to finish my break. Plus it took two hours for the doc to return my pages, and then he gave me flak. I felt so ill about the patient apparently falling, and wanted to just go home then. I never want that to happen again.

Then I got an admit, but thankfully he was stable and only needed a few PO meds, and I did manage to get a dressing change done on another patient (something day shift had left for me to do), but I felt sick to my stomach for the rest of the night, and I'm feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of going to work. I'm especially worried if the patient is still there and I have to face his family.

Everybody is telling me that I'm beating myself up. They say I can't be everywhere at once, and that sometimes no matter how hard we try to keep them safe, patients fall.

I still feel terribly.

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I definitely know how you feel. I remember when I had my first patient fall. It was during the night shift (I work noc shift) and it was an unwitnessed fall..and I felt like a horrible nurse, but it will pass. You're only one person and you can do so much and all we can do is try our best. I still get that "sick to my stomach" feeling as well and I've been working for a year now...hang in there. Hopefully it will get better for you. :icon_hug:

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

Sounds like:

1) Report the doc to your supervisor, that was crap for not calling you back promptly. We have a job, they have a job, they need to suck it up.

2) Talk to your supervisor about not having an aide! Is this normal? Sounds like a bunch of bunk. Nurses need help, if your sup doesn't care, move on to your DON. JUst let them know you want to provide the safest and best patient care, but you need support to do it!

3) I don't blame you for feeling sick about work!

:icon_hug:

Tait

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I am long past feeling guilty when a patient falls. Unless I did something, or didn't do something, to cause the fall, it's not my fault. People fall. It's expected to happen once in awhile. Reasonable measures must be taken to prevent it. How about the hospital you work for? What are they doing to prevent falls? Do you have a central nurses station where you can view all rooms at all times? Do they provide sitters for pts who are high fall risk? Get real and stop beating yourself up. You didn't throw the guy on the floor.

*just wanted to add that i'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

Well, it wasn't so bad tonight. All that bellyaching for nothing. But then there's tomorrow, and who knows what will happen then?:chair:

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

Nancy, I can relate.

Please understand that as a new nurse, you are just beginning to learn what you can control and what you cannot. A patient falling when you have a lot of other patients to care for might be something that you cannot personally control, 100%, all the time. (And on that note, let me tell you about the patient who fell while I watched from exactly 18 inches away, where I'd been sitting and watching him all night, just so I could prevent his fall....)

Take adequate precautions and do the best you can, but believe me, in order to survive as a nurse, you cannot keep coming home and worrying yourself sick over things you cannot control, because worry really can make you sick.

Take charge over the things you can control and as for the rest, just do your best.

I also suggest practicing some type of relaxation technique to keep your stress level down, like Yoga or some kind of exercise that involves meditation and/or prayer.

Hope that helped.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

You are so right, and I should know better. Maybe I'm not cut out for acute care. There is a part of me that loves the challenge and the fast pace, but there's also that part of me that feels so much anxiety over it all. I feel in a way that this part of my career, this first year or two, is my time to pay the dues and gain those terrible but valuable experiences that will make me a better nurse in the long run. On the other hand, is the experience worth it? Perhaps I should find a position elsewhere, where people aren't quite so sick and things are a bit more structured. Food for thought. In the meantime, I'll try to go easier on myself and just do the best I can.

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Some very good advice and support here! You are in the middle of a heck of a self-learning experience. Whatever your future experience or career decisions, give yourself some slack, allow yourself to be human and remind yourself of all of your growth. I hope you keep us updated on your experience.

And Angie O'Plasty, thanks for sharing your falling patient experience. You're right that there is only so much we can do. : )

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You are so right, and I should know better. Maybe I'm not cut out for acute care. There is a part of me that loves the challenge and the fast pace, but there's also that part of me that feels so much anxiety over it all. I feel in a way that this part of my career, this first year or two, is my time to pay the dues and gain those terrible but valuable experiences that will make me a better nurse in the long run. On the other hand, is the experience worth it? Perhaps I should find a position elsewhere, where people aren't quite so sick and things are a bit more structured. Food for thought. In the meantime, I'll try to go easier on myself and just do the best I can.

NancyNurse I am chiming in late here, but i just read this post and it is as if you plucked the thoughts I have about being a new nurse in acute care, right from my head onto this post! I have no different advice to offer, but a very big thank you is in order. sometimes it helps to know that maybe as a new nurse, this exact feeling is NORMAL? and there are others out there that feel the same way..:uhoh3:

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Specializes in med-tele.
are others out there that feel the same way..:uhoh3:

Tonight was my FIFTH night working on my own on a busy telemetry floor. Only had FOUR patients, including an admission, but felt like I was never caught up. YES, I feel the same way. My mixed-feelings event of the evening was that I had to set up a feeding pump. I've had LOTS of patients with feeding pumps, this was my first time setting it up. I work 3:00-11:30p shift - so today is a holiday, and it was like pulling teeth getting it from central supply. The people from central supply arrive with the pump, but WITHOUT a pole, I was like I HAVE TO ORDER THE POLE? I am still not sure if I have to order the pole. So I steal a regular IV pole from our own supply. I had the feeding solution, but I had to ask "DO I HAVE TO ORDER THE TUBING TOO?" I learned I didn't have to order the tubing, I was instructed to get it out of the supply room. So I go into our chaotic supply room and look and dig, and I find some tubes and I merrily come out with them. I am embarrassed to say that I came out with NG tubes, NOT the tubing for feeding. I was SO embarrassed, but thank all the positive energy in the Universe -- One of the kindest most benevolent nurses marched me back to the supply room, walked me to my patient's room and primed and connected everything including the water flush in less than 10 minutes. I thanked her profusely. Lots of other 'negative' things happened, but I am going to hold onto this as my daily learning. thanks for your comments hillflower and n-nurse - they get me through each day.:up:

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Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.

Sometimes we do everything short of tying patients to their beds and they STILL fall. Even the best falls prevention program in the world is not going to stop some patients from falling. I once had one of my independently ambulatory patients fall while using his walker properly. He was just walking with a steady gait across an open area. I distinctly remember the sound of his head hitting the wooden floor. I don't know what caused him to fall. It was not my fault. Bad things happen to patients all the time. We cannot prevent every negative event that could possibly happen to our patients. We do the best we can every day and that is enough.

Cut yourself a little slack. Don't blame everything that happens on yourself.

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

We really can't be everywhere at once....even as an aide, I check in on my falls people more often, but I can't be in there 12 hrs out of 12.....I still remember the first day I worked and I had 2(Count em, 2) people fall at the same time, at opposite ends of the hall!...no one had showed me the emergency cords yet, and I walked all the way back up to the station and calmly stated "I need a hand, x fell out of bed...." Well, the response I got was pretty well overwhelming! Looked like a code team as we all took off back down the hall.....lol. I can laugh about it now...but it's tough. I'm sure my first days as a nurse will be nerve wracking..but I know that I've gotten through being an aide, I can handle being a nurse...it's just a little more toughness to get through it....

Try to let it go...when it's something you can't prevent, you do all you can....we've put many confused patients up in recliners at the nurses station....

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