My coworkers dont like me because I bragged

Nurses New Nurse

Published

I am just beyond angry with myself. I don't know why I did this. I'm a new grad who got days at a level 1 trauma center within about 9 months. I first complained about being on evening shift and then bragged about getting days - maybe brag isn't the word, but I probably talked about it too much.

I can tell my coworkers don't like me because of this. That is quite understandable, believe me I know. I think I did it because I was consumed with stress about finding childcare for evenings and I maybe didn't even realize I was talking about it as much as I was, although that's no excuse. I am just mortified with myself. I need help with knowing how to move forward at work. What should I do?

Their opinion(s) of you will continue to morph. Just learn from it and wait for it to blow over. I don't recommend apologizing or explaining. That's called "trying way too hard" when it involves such a minor issue.

Especially don't bring snacks - unless you just want to bring some food for a weekend shift or for holidays or "just because". but not to apologize. I would eat the food and still be upset with you, if I had been upset to start with. I could be wrong, use your best judgment.

I think just let some time go by, work hard, learn a lot, keep your mouth shut about anything personal.

No one needs to know anything about your life away from work, lots of people somehow like to turn your words into gossip and use things you say to harm you.

Keep your happiness to yourself so no one has to be jealous of you. Lots of people get jealous easily. If there's some trouble in your life, you might let that be known sometimes. I know it sounds contrary. I'm just speaking from my experiences in the world of work over the last 4+ decades.

Be humble but not obsequious.

I wish you well.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Just excel at your job.... do not let petty coworkers get under your skin or make you second guess yourself... this sounds more like a sad attempt to bully you and demean your success at getting the position... nothing would please some of these people more than continuing to throw shade on you... ignore them....they already are chipping away at your self-confidence and self-esteem...do not be afraid to be happy ... child care needs are a real issue... you let management know and they responded... it sounds like they value your work...good for you...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Next time you want to talk about something good that happens to you, frame it in how grateful and relieved you are that a major problem is alleviated. That's it. Then continue to be efficient, helpful, friendly and sympathetic to others. Anyone who likes you already will be glad for your good fortune. If you've been rubbing people the wrong way all along, lording anything over them won't help.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

You've learned a valuable lesson. I wouldn't advise going out of my way to apologize to anyone for your bragging -- you aren't 100% positive that this is why they don't like you and if it's not, you don't want to give them something else to dislike. I would advise going out of your way to be friendly and helpful. Treat everyone as if you like and respect them -- even if you don't.

If the opportunity comes up to inject into the conversation how embarrassed you are about the bragging you did at one time, and how big of a lesson you've learned and how humbled you are because you realized that you didn't know as much as you thought you did at the time, take it. Most senior nurses will make allowances for newbie mistakes. It's those nurses with just slightly more experience or seniority than you who will have the biggest problems with you. Work hard at befriending them.

I'm sure you'll do fine. You sound pretty self-aware. I still cringe at some of the things I said when I was brand new.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Surgical, Home Infusions, HVU, PCU, Neuro.

If the opportunity comes up to inject into the conversation how embarrassed you are about the bragging you did at one time, and how big of a lesson you've learned and how humbled you are because you realized that you didn't know as much as you thought you did at the time, take it. Most senior nurses will make allowances for newbie mistakes.

I understand what you are saying but I disagree with this piece of advice. I do not understand why she would apologize for not knowing as much as she thought she did, what did she not know when moving to days and expressing her enthusiasm and family stress relief from the position change? Being brand new or a seasoned vet, no one should have to apologize to anyone for changing shifts, or expressing relief about the change. I do not view this as a newbie mistake and do not believe it should be treated as much. The senior nurses should not "make allowances" for this, or anything else if they are not going to take the time to teach and educate the new nurse. How do we know if it is the nurses with more experience or seniority that have a problem to begin with?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I am just beyond angry with myself. I don't know why I did this. I'm a new grad who got days at a level 1 trauma center within about 9 months. I first complained about being on evening shift and then bragged about getting days - maybe brag isn't the word, but I probably talked about it too much.

I can tell my coworkers don't like me because of this. That is quite understandable, believe me I know. I think I did it because I was consumed with stress about finding childcare for evenings and I maybe didn't even realize I was talking about it as much as I was, although that's no excuse. I am just mortified with myself. I need help with knowing how to move forward at work. What should I do?

Truth? I'm betting they don't like you for a different reason

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment