Hating Nursing Currently

Thank you for that. I needed it (for a future reference).

I've been a nurse since 1987 and still feel that way.

Are you working with a Preceptor? If not, request one. A kind and strong Preceptor is like gold! Being organized and prioritizing is something that is necessary, but it will strengthen over time if you make it a habit. Please don't lose heart!

This is very normal. Ask for help and guidance. No one hits the bulls eye on the first arrow, Honey. In addition to being kind to your patients, be kind to yourself. You are well on your way, you'll see!!

I'd like to hear most manager's reaction to this request. "just request a preceptor" as if she's at the Hilton. in many cases the person is just left hung to dry.

I earned my BSN in 1980. Back then (Lord, I sound old!), freshman year was basic degree requirements. Sophomore year we learned basic skills; bathing, occupied bed change, physical assessment in the fall and moved on to first year med-surg in the spring. Junior year was OB/Peds, Surgery/Med-Surg II. Senior year was research, Critical Care, Psych. We were well prepared for NCLEX and the beginning of our careers. We got six weeks of orientation and then..... good luck! I cried, threw up, had headaches, you name it! I learned early on that keeping myself organized was the key to happiness! I made myself a graph: on an 8.5x11 sheet of paper, draw lines one inch apart the 11" length of the paper. You should have 8 one inch columns and one .5" column. Now, turn the paper and make one column 2" wide. Space the rest of the columns 1" wide. You should have one 2" column and nine 1" columns. In the 2" column, put room number, pt name, physician, diagnosis. In the first 1" column put any IVs, tubes, O2, stuff you need to be aware of for the whole shift. Oh, that left over 1/2" of space on the 8.5 width of the paper? Number it for each hour of your shift. You may need two pages for a twelve hour shift. At 8, 12, and 4 write "BP" with a line. Put q4h vitals there. In the last box put "I&O". With a red pen, write an "M" with a circle around it each hour that a med is due. I would write treatments in in a different color ink. Three color pens are fabulous! New IV bags and tube feeds got written in when they went up. This sounds time consuming, but if you make a master of your flow sheet, then make several copies, it takes very little time to fill in the blanks. This sheet comes in handy when giving report, too.

Keep in mind that we all have days when we go to the bathroom to cry, yell, beat our heads against the wall. Then, we splash our faces with cool water and go back to finish the shift. Good luck to you.

For months I would always think, is this going to be the day I don't know what I am doing and something horrible happens? It takes awhile to get over those feelings because our mistakes can have such serious consequences. The biggest helps, in my opinion, is organization and being fearless when it comes to asking questions. I look stuff up a lot (either online or in our policies) but I will also asks coworkers even if I think "I should know this." I would rather ask than be wrong because I was worried about looking dumb.

It saddens me though how many people felt their school didn't prepare them. I felt well prepared even though obviously there was a lot not covered. But that is the nature of the beast; 3 years in I still learn something new almost weekly.

Geslina I agree with you. I have been a nurse for four years. All the joy has been sucked out of nursing. Long behind us are those days. I still cry often. To make matters even worse, my employer just enforced a new rule that prohibits the nurses from sitting at the nurses station. We have to stand during our entire shift, even while we are doing all that ridiculous charting! Now I find myself crying more than before from the stress of the job AND the pain in my ankles from standing my entire shift.

Welcome to your first year of nursing! Almost every nurse you'll ever meet here on AN or in real life will tell you they absolutely HATED their first year. Crying before (and after) shifts? Check. Stressing over every little detail? Yup. Freaking out at even the smallest of mistakes? Ohhh, yeah.

All I can say is, this WILL pass. It will take at least a year, and probably two, before you feel somewhat comfortable in nursing, but time goes by fast and you'll be learning so much. Hang in there, ask questions, observe, and just absorb every experience you can get. One day before you know it, you'll not only be able to do your job but actually be *good* at it. You can count on it.

THIS!

I abjectly hated my first nursing job, my life, nursing in general. I cried before, after and during shifts (in the employee bathroom). Everything stressed me out, to the extent that I'd have to go into the bathroom and vomit from the stress every time I had to give an IM injection.

It gets better -- but a year (or more likely two) is a realistic time frame. Nothing to do but get through it, and the only way to GET through it is to go through it.

I got through it, and went on to spend 38 years at the bedside, happily. Hopefully you'll be as lucky.

Almost every nurse I've know has either cried or were on the verge of crying as a new nurse (and beyond). It is stressful and nothing in school prepares you for the realities of nursing. You are are on information overload and learning so much. One day you will be yelled at by a doctor, nurse, or patient and have to handle it with grace. It does get better, but just realize that there will be a lot of highs and a lot of lows.

Geslina I agree with you. I have been a nurse for four years. All the joy has been sucked out of nursing. Long behind us are those days. I still cry often. To make matters even worse, my employer just enforced a new rule that prohibits the nurses from sitting at the nurses station. We have to stand during our entire shift, even while we are doing all that ridiculous charting! Now I find myself crying more than before from the stress of the job AND the pain in my ankles from standing my entire shift.

I suppose sitting at the nurses station is an infection control risk, sort of like taking a drink of water.

I prefer standing the majority of the time at work; I like being on the go and not spending too much time in one place. Even so, there's a time for sitting. There's no time, though, for being insulted.

Don't cry, just get the heck out of there.

One thing I have learned in life is to never give up. My horse threw me when I was a kid and my dad made me get back on her though I was sobbing hysterically. She became the best horse I ever had. I was a late bloomer going to nursing school in my 40's after my kids were grown, and failed RN school 10 weeks before graduation, though I had held good grades up till then. Then I got stage III breast cancer that I beat the **** out of. I literally took my school books to chemo treatments and spent my afternoons with drugs and lots of studying, thanks to a nurse friend of mine who convinced me to get back on the horse and get into LPN school, though I was sobbing hysterically. When I graduated as a LPN, I had debt of almost $20,000 from 5 semesters of RN school (yes I went back after failing and failed again, 2 strikes you're out). I began working as a float nurse in several physician's clinics and found I hated nursing. I hated the pressure. I hated the 27-30 patients a day with their 10 minute appointments that gave me 2 minutes to room and take vitals, never really getting to spend time with them. I hated the Dr. getting upset because his patients were waiting for me to room them, and he was 2 minutes behind. I left and entered skilled nursing and after 3 days of training was responsible for over 20 residents and 3-4 CNA's. The work was grueling, and I was constantly behind. I thought "Is this what nursing is"? "What was I thinking"? A few months ago a state-of-the-art skilled nursing center opened up in our community. I immediately took a position there. Job #3 in 2 years. This job has been the best job I have ever had. Not only did I get a huge raise with full benefits they pay for, they are fully staffed and getting more staff almost weekly as we are growing by leaps and bounds. The work is still harsh. I have 26 residents and 3-4 CNA's under me at this point, but I am finding a love for this job that I only dreamt about. The pressures are real, the hours of charting are unreal, but what do I want to look back on when I'm 70 or 80, or laying in a skilled nursing center? We all may be there someday. How do you want to remember your life? Do you want to be that quitter who ends up with only regrets, or do you want to be that hysterically sobbing woman who got back up on that horse and said "Wow, this isn't so bad"! Don't be a quitter. Don't give up on your dreams. Live life fully. Inevitably we age quickly, and it will be too late to start over. Best wishes in a truly fantastic nursing field.

I never wanted to do floor nursing, because of the issues you cite. You are overworked, and if you are a new grad, you are underpaid. My advice--get some experience, and keep checking the job boards. It may take some time, but find an area you like, maybe even love, and focus on that. Find your comfort zone. It's out there. Give it some time.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It really is unacceptable as a PROFESSION we should not be letting out newbies feel this way. It is an abisurd and disgusting manner in which most medical education is handled. Kudos to those who went through school 15 to 20+ years ago, but those after we're screwed up the rear and in our pocket books as well.

I was so miserable my first year that I cried before and after shifts. I used all my sick days as soon as they became available because I would cry until I was puking before work. My 'preceptor' had been a nurse for 9 months before I became her preceptee, if that gives you any idea of how beneficial the training was the 12 weeks before I was on my own. The 'oldest' nurse one the floor had been there 2 years. It was a post op open heart surgery floor. We would get open heart patients 12 hours after surgery with bilateral chest tubes and an external pacemaker. The ratio was suppose to be 4:1. But we were also a clean 'catch all' floor. So it wasn't uncommon to have 3 post op patients and like 3 post cardiac cath or thorocotomy patients. The doctors were often *******s to us, and I don't blame them, they couldn't really trust us with their patients. We also didn't have an educator. I stayed 2 years because I got a sign on bonus and would have to pay it back. Also I had accumulated to much debt from nursing school to quit and it is far more difficult to get a job as a new grad with 6 months of experience than a nurse who has 1-2 years of experience.

I had a good friend of mine drop out of nursing school her last semester. She told me a career than stressed her out so much that she would cry harder than the day her dad passed away was not worth it. She was right.

So if you are in a similar situation where you can't quit because you have to much debt this is what you do.

Make it your goal to stay one year. Try not to ruffle to may feathers because you are going to need references. Do use all of your sick days for mental health and don't feel bad about it. Work straight nights if possible....it is just as much work as days but there is about a 2 hour period during the shift were you can catch up. There also isn't a constant change of order to monitor and that helps as well. Believe me, my body was not fond of the nightshift, but my soul was a lot better off. Learn to say no. "We are going to need to stretch you to 8 tonight, we are over loaded." "I'm sorry, as I am still within my first year of nursing I do not feel safe taking an additional patient." "Well that will put your co workers with 9." " You will have to ask my co worker if they feel safe doing that, but it doesn't sound like what you are asking us to do is safe." They will give you some **** for that, but you can only be put in a dangerous situation because you allowed it. Say no politely, but be firm and don't feel bad about it. (Sad part is you will feel bad about it and your manager and coworkers will give you flack about it, but screw them. This is about you and your patients. After any incident like that I would also write a polite but admant letter to my manager and director about why that was not only unsafe for me but the nurse who ended up being over ratio and ALL the patients on the floor. Didn't make me any friends to do that but if you don't speak up who will?)