Having a "soft personality" make for a bad nurse?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

First, let me start by saying that the nurse who told me this was not being rude by the comment. And it didn't bother me, I'm actually looking to see if it would help with a specialty in the future. I am a brand new tech and she has taken me under her wing to show me a few things. We have completely different personalities; she's very outspoken and straightforward and I'm very agreeable and that's why we flow well(I made this comment because on the unit I'm on nurses and techs do not get along too well). She has often made comments about my kind heart and my eagerness to learn but she has also warned me staff might try to take advantage because I have a "soft personality", that I need to harden up because I'm too sweet, and I spend too much time letting the patients talk to me. I felt it was a little presumptuous. I will admit that I try to go out of my way to be nice. Yet, I do stand up for myself. I haven't had to do that yet at this job but I know if I had to I would. Or if it was standing up for a patients safety I would do that in a heartbeat. I may be very empathetic to others and try to please but I handle sad and hard situations relatively well. I come from a background of working with children, specifically infants through age 3, and I'm used to talking in a softer tone. Does that make a bad personality trait for a nurse? Is there any nursing specialities that might do especially well with those personality traits?

Thanks in advance!! I'm sorry for the grammatical errors! My phone is terrible lol.

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You're a future nurse and you care. Stay the course and figure out how to shorten up your conversations if they are keeping you from your duties.

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I agree! I try not to spend a long time talking to the patients if I haven't completed my assigned duties. Usually I'll have a conversation with them when I take them refreshments or if I'm rounding on them.

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A lot depends on the culture of your workplace. Some places have a supportive culture where people help each other. Other places are shark tanks where it is everyone for themselves, where people do try to take advantage of others, where a kind nature is dismissed as weak.

As long as you have good boundaries, you will do just fine.

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It sounds like she was trying to tell you in a nice way to "hurry up".

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I am agreeable, not swift to anger and I tend to like people and get along. However, I have a spine (and stomach) of steel and am very self confident. The two are not mutually exclusive. There is no reason you have to be "hard" to be able to function in a high stress environment. In fact, the personality traits that let you talk to patients are going to make you one of the nurses that "difficult" patients do better with. As long as you have an excellent understanding of everyone's job functions, how people support one another in patient care and good boundaries for where your lane ends and someone else's begins, and good critical thinking skills (because none of that is black and white all the time) you are going to do fine.

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

Hard steel takes a sharp edge, but it's brittle. Malleable (soft) iron won't hold an edge, but it's tough. You have to find a balance that works for you.

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

She may mean well but she is incorrect. You will find a way to do things that will be different from her way.

She will not understand your way and that is fine.

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Thanks everyone for all of the encouraging comments!!❤️

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Specializes in Case manager, float pool, and more.
She may mean well but she is incorrect. You will find a way to do things that will be different from her way.

She will not understand your way and that is fine.

Exactly. Stay true to who you are.

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