My first RN job has lead me to a more rural part of the country. As a person of color, I have never experienced racism to this degree.
Some instances are subtle at work, but some are pretty blatant.
My first experience occurred when my preceptor mentioned repeatedly that I have a "black card" so I must be golden at my new position. (I never questioned her on what she meant.) My preceptor also mentioned things like "since you are black things will get stolen from you." Phrases like 'slave driver' have also repeatedly been mentioned in passing with my preceptor. Since I was on orientation, I let a lot of comments go and ignored them, due to fear of being let go or retaliation.
Now, the worst thing is that I have noted on several occasions, confederate flags waving from behind pick up trucks.
I'm not sure if I can stick it out for over a year in this place. What would you do?
I feel it is better to try to understand your enemy and maybe find an ally, rather than to blindly hate those who believe differently from you.
That was an advice Jews in Europe were given around 1937. You know how it ended.
It was also an advice I was given by a bipedal of female gender who named me "scum which soils American air" 5 min. before for speaking with an accent.
Those who had a misfortune to grow up like you described, have a freedom of choice to accept the facts of life and get over it all, or return to their sweet old mossy stone and hide under it forever. The former thing can be done. Thousands of immigants do it every year. It is one of the most psychologically painful experiences a human being can go through, but it can be done and results worth the experience many times. Nobody forces anyone to accept this way in a free society, as well as nobody should force anyone under that mossy stone in the name of "understanding" of points of view which are illegal to begin with.
I would agree that just one old cookie parading his Confederate flag all over the place may not be too much to worry about. But what the OP describes looks like a well-rooted system which, due to factors you described, is not humanely possible to fight effectively at the present time. Why then he should spend his only one life and those of his wife dealing with it?
BTW, BON will not help. They do not deal with grievances between nurses and their employers. This is why there were not, so far, a single case of any BON acting in responce to horizontal violence. EEOC can act if OP presents hard evidence, like audio or witnessed statement, but in many states clandestine audio/videotaping is not legal and I guess it is zero possibility to get cooperative witnesses. If he has a whole lot of nerves, time and money, he can try to find a lawyer who will start the process for EEOC complain. But even in this case the hospital will get yet another gentle slap on the wrist.
That was an advice Jews in Europe were given around 1937. You know how it ended.
It was also an advice I was given by a bipedal of female gender who named me "scum which soils American air" 5 min. before for speaking with an accent.
Those who had a misfortune to grow up like you described, have a freedom of choice to accept the facts of life and get over it all, or return to their sweet old mossy stone and hide under it forever. The former thing can be done. Thousands of immigants do it every year. It is one of the most psychologically painful experiences a human being can go through, but it can be done and results worth the experience many times. Nobody forces anyone to accept this way in a free society, as well as nobody should force anyone under that mossy stone in the name of "understanding" of points of view which are illegal to begin with.
I would agree that just one old cookie parading his Confederate flag all over the place may not be too much to worry about. But what the OP describes looks like a well-rooted system which, due to factors you described, is not humanely possible to fight effectively at the present time. Why then he should spend his only one life and those of his wife dealing with it?
BTW, BON will not help. They do not deal with grievances between nurses and their employers. This is why there were not, so far, a single case of any BON acting in responce to horizontal violence. EEOC can act if OP presents hard evidence, like audio or witnessed statement, but in many states clandestine audio/videotaping is not legal and I guess it is zero possibility to get cooperative witnesses. If he has a whole lot of nerves, time and money, he can try to find a lawyer who will start the process for EEOC complain. But even in this case the hospital will get yet another gentle slap on the wrist.
As I sit here about to go to work, I am psyching myself up! Your reply just placed everything in perspective and I appreciate your great words. I am actively seeking employment elsewhere, closer to home where I feel comfortable and safe. I wish that this opprtunity would have worked out.
Another person of color which was on my orientation experienced the same thing on a different floor and she fought back. She never got off of orientation and was cornered to resign. She was BSN prepared, talented and a new grad like me. She had an accent and it was not accepted at this hospital. I may not have an accent but my skin is brown and I can't and shouldnt hide it. This scenario sickens me to the core.
I'm sorry that you too experienced this. I just pray that this is the worst that it gets and nothing more.
I went through a similar experience at my current job. I experienced coworkers comments and racist comments like it was a dagger to my heart. As a nurse of color, it is hard to deal with racist patients and racist coworkers at the same time.
I didn't. My first year as a new grad was spent crying taking frequent vacations and with friends. I left work at work. I use to feel anxious and would dread going into work.
I didn't let statements from individuals that don't have a clue of who I am affect me. There were some coworkers that saw the treatment, and they 'helped' me by acknowledging that it wasn't me. I wasn't the problem.
My manager told me the other new grads I started with were smarter than I was and had more critical thinking. She made me feel as if I was an inferior race through comments , frequently avoiding speaking to me, and smaller things that I never understood. She wasn't the only problem. I had coworkers that refused to say my name correctly and would say stereotypical black names in place of my name.
After 2 years of being employed in the same unit, I don't know if coworkers still feel the same way. I've moved to shifts that I was surrounded with people I trusted. I tried to leave the unit and was blackballed from the transfer by my manager. Out of 10 new grads that were hired, I am the only person of color left out of 3 that new grad nurses who remain.
I stuck it out, but I went through two of the hardest years of my life on this unit. I say this all to say, I am positive you can as well. However, if you want to leave.. Leave and never look back.
Though comments have been made, no one has threatened you overtly with physical harm. Some people are more resilient than others. If you are noticing that you are not becoming resilient in managing these emotions and situations, you need to leave.
As a Black male, I'd be careful with confronting your white female preceptor in a bigoted/ racist hostile environment.
I fear for your safety, and I think it's time to talk to your wife about the situation. You aren't alone. You have her so discuss it with her as well.
I went through a similar experience at my current job. I experienced coworkers comments and racist comments like it was a dagger to my heart. As a nurse of color, it is hard to deal with racist patients and racist coworkers at the same time.
I didn't. My first year as a new grad was spent crying taking frequent vacations and with friends. I left work at work. I use to feel anxious and would dread going into work.
I didn't let statements from individuals that don't have a clue of who I am affect me. There were some coworkers that saw the treatment, and they 'helped' me by acknowledging that it wasn't me. I wasn't the problem.
My manager told me the other new grads I started with were smarter than I was and had more critical thinking. She made me feel as if I was an inferior race through comments , frequently avoiding speaking to me, and smaller things that I never understood. She wasn't the only problem. I had coworkers that refused to say my name correctly and would say stereotypical black names in place of my name.
After 2 years of being employed in the same unit, I don't know if coworkers still feel the same way. I've moved to shifts that I was surrounded with people I trusted. I tried to leave the unit and was blackballed from the transfer by my manager. Out of 10 new grads that were hired, I am the only person of color left out of 3 that new grad nurses who remain.
I stuck it out, but I went through two of the hardest years of my life on this unit. I say this all to say, I am positive you can as well. However, if you want to leave.. Leave and never look back.
Though comments have been made, no one has threatened you overtly with physical harm. Some people are more resilient than others. If you are noticing that you are not becoming resilient in managing these emotions and situations, you need to leave.
As a Black male, I'd be careful with confronting your white female preceptor in a bigoted/ racist hostile environment.
I fear for your safety, and I think it's time to talk to your wife about the situation. You aren't alone. You have her so discuss it with her as well.
Thank you for your comment and words of hope and strength. I am so hesitant to speak to my wife cause she may be even more anxious than I am.
Thankfully it hasn't been physical. I guess I just have to feel my way through this. Take it a day at a time, but it is having a toll on me emotionally.
The reverse happened to me at my first nursing job. I worked with mainly old school, experienced black nurses. I got on pretty well with them, so much so that sometimes I forgot I was white. The problems began when I tried to ask for help or delegate duties. I ended up switching to the downtown location of the company I worked at.
There needs to be a healthy portion of all experiences and cultures in a work environment. The floor I work on now is not cliquey at all. It is more of a family.
So as to leaving a whole town to escape racism, maybe the answer is a different floor or company.
As a fellow RN of color I can tell you that you have probably seen all you need to see to make your decision. I am not one of trying to change attitudes that have been around before I was ever a thought to my parents. Some parts of this country are just lost to ignorance and hate. If you have nothing keeping you there, get out.
I don't believe in "tolerating" hate directly to my face or latent and undercover.
You have got to take care of yourself and your mental health. I know plenty of nurses who were miserable at their first job and had to, in lieu of preserving their mental and physical health, switch jobs and fast. If you're seriously worried about the 5 month thing then consider another new grad program. There are a lot of new grad programs out there! I know, for example, that Vanderbilt takes new grads after they have been working for awhile. I know someone interviewing next week. I am living in the south - not everyone will understand how bad it is or can be. Worst case scenario, tell your potential hiring managers that you're applying because you're just really excited about their program. Above everything else, you need a positive environment with coworkers that support you. Life's too short. There are plenty of places that won't think twice about you being in a position for 5 months, Things change. circumstances chance. YOU DO WHAT's GOOD FOR YOU!
On a personal note - I just want to tell you that you are NOT ALONE. I'm a few years into working for a hospital in the south. It's a nice enough town and all, coworkers are great - but boy some of the patients are so righteous in their bigotry. It makes me literally sick some days. I am looking forward to moving back out west.
First of all, I have never been a victim of racism so I can't say I know how you feel. I sounds like you are very offended and I wish that was not the case. Hopefully, I can help alleviate some of your distress and convince you to take a closer look at your situation because after all, moving back to a northern state is a big deal and you should make that decision AFTER you get the right perspective on your situation and understand what is really going on (a lot easier said than done, I know).
The short answer here before I go into details explaining my view of the situation is that no, you should not leave just yet because I think you may be over-reacting to what happened. Some of that sounds pretty bad and its hard for me to really know what happened without being there, but I do know that racism is perceived very differently by both perpetrators and victims in the south than it is in the north and some things that would be newsworthy hate crimes in the north are no big deal in the south and consequently, "victims" do not feel as victimized and perpetrators do not really intend as much harm. Every situation is unique and serious racial issues and hate crimes definitely remain a major societal problem, but I feel that we have an overall over sensitive and magnified view of the problem here in the north. It wasn't long ago that black people were being physically harmed by whites on a regular basis for simply being black and white people were getting away with it. Now a days, hate crimes are taken very seriously both officially and on a real, personal, and practical level. We are not done, but we have come a long way as a society and celebrating the progress we have made and admitting things are better does not (or at least should not) detract from the severity of the current condition or the significance of past injustices.
What I can say is that there is a big difference in how racism is perceived between rural southern and metropolitan northern states. The truth is, racism isn't all that more prevalent in the south than it is in the north (maybe a little bit, but much less than most northerner's assume). In the north we are very sensitive to race, and even the slightest implication of racial bias or even accidentally saying or doing something racist is seen as offensive and unacceptable in the north. The difference is in perception. In the south, certain things are less likely to be perceived or intended to be offensively racist (unless of course its someone like you who was raised elsewhere) than they same thing would be up north. In a New York hospital, people would be fired over what was said to you and they would probably deserve it (because they most likely knew it was offensive and intended to offend you) while the actual people you experienced in the south could very well be completely nice, non-racist coworkers (although some of the comments seemed pretty bad) or maybe they intended to offend you for some other reason unrelated to your race and simply chose to offend you with racism because its more acceptable there and therefore its also less serious (i.e. they use a racial slur assuming you would only be mildly offended and don't really consider it racism, nor do they have a problem with your race maybe you just took their spot in the cafeteria). Its also possible that they were complete racists and meant to offend you even more than you were offended! All I'm saying is that racism is both intended and perceived to be less serious and offensive (by both white people and black people) in the south, and a lot of what you feel may go away once you adjust to the culture.
I suggest you talk to people of your own race about what happened to try and gauge how serious it was, maybe you can even find someone like yourself (from the north) and ask them how they have adjusted. I know its not as simple as just letting it go, but it would suck to leave a job prematurely because you had misunderstandings of their culture. The closest experience I had was the first time I worked with inner city black patients and their families and got called "whitey" a couple times. I felt very offended and uncomfortable and felt like they hated/distrusted me, but eventually I realized that was just how they talked about white people and even though it was technically "racist" and I was offended at first, they didn't mean to really offend me and had no ill feelings towards me. It still made me feel uneasy, but I didn't feel like I was hated or that they didn't appreciate the care I was providing. I KNOW my experience was minor compared to yours and I'm not saying white people are anywhere near as targeted as black people when it comes to racism, its just the only personal experience I have to compare to.
As for the confederate flag, ironically that is the LEAST racist thing you mentioned even though you referred to it was the "worst". I can say with confidence that the confederate flag has long been disassociated with racism, "white power", and slavery among southern culture. Sure, many (if not most) non-southerners, both black and white, see it as an offensive symbol and SOME people do in fact use it as an offensive symbol (i.e. the Charleston shooter seemed to have associated it with his perverted racist ideology) but MOST southerners fly it as a symbol of southern pride, solidarity, and strength. To them, the confederacy represents the American people holding their own against a tyrannical government. The south LOST the battle over slavery and were shown to be wrong about their view of black people, so it makes no sense to fly the flag in support of slavery or white superiority, that would be like a Russian Hockey team watching "miracle on ice" in order to celebrate their perceived superiority to a US hockey teams(miracle on ice is a movie about the US beating Russia in hockey in th 1980 winter Olympics). I've been to the south on several occasions and every time I have seen black people flying the confederate flag while hanging out with a white best friend. My (white) neighbor lived in a frat house that flew the flag and they were next to an all black frat house that also flew the confederate flag. When Charleston happened, both frats joined together (a rare event in its own right) and threw a "patriot party" in celebration of southern solidarity and in remembrance of the victims of the shooting and by the end of the night the stars and bars were body painted on almost everyone.
You are in an entirely different culture and if you have never actually experienced it other than what you see on the news and in TV/Movies, you (like most northerners) have a lot of false preconceived notions that may take a while to get over. There are good and bad people in this country just like everywhere else. People kill, rape, and rob each other every day. Other things like racism, sexism, and homophobia are less serious and less universal in how they are percieved. These are social issues that depend on the surrounding society. Northern metropolitan society and culture is VERY different than rural southern society/culture when it comes to social issues and if you have lived you whole life in one place, its not going to be easy to adjust. That said, I think once you do adjust you will appreciate the experience and realize the south and southern people are not any more or less evil than northerners. My experience has actually been the opposite, in the limited experience Ive had in the more rural south, I've seen a lot more friendliness and hospitality than the philly/new york area. Sure, occasionally I would see or hear something that made me cringe, but overall people both black and white seemed happier and more relaxed in the south, and that's what is really important so in going forward I encourage you to give the south a shot but if you can't adjust then you would best move back north because things aren't going to be much different just moving to another hospital.
Were you raised in the south? I ask because from my experience, the confederate flag is rarely seen as a symbol of racism by southerners and I've seen both white and black men (mostly men at least) flying the flag or having it on their car somewhere. Even after the Charleston shooting and subsequent flag debate I was at an all black frat house that refused to take down the flag and included it in a party/memorial for the victims, along with their white frat house neighbor. I was shocked and uncomfortable myself at first but it was soon made clear that the flag is a very important part of southern culture for a lot of people and is not necessarily a symbol of racism.
"White Pride Worldwide" however does seem to be clearly racist, I would be embarrassed to even be near anything like that. The fact that it occurred together with the flag doesn't mean the flag was also meant to be racist or supportive of white superiority delusions.
Specializes in Clinical Documentation Specialist, LTC.
I haven't read all the responses OP, but I did want to stop in and offer my support and ((((HUGS)))). Thank God I was raised to be color blind. I truly do not see race, I see the person behind the color. Go with your heart and keep your chin up.
Dear Roser, I mean no disrespect, but how can someone born of our generation not be aware of racism and prejudice. It never, ever, went away. Not to say that some things aren't better, but racism still exists, is still tolerated, and in many places and many people, baldly expressed.
I'm a white guy, Detroit born and raised. I saw and heard the racism there; I see it still. my step-son is biracial, and like any parent of a black child, I fear for his safety even from the police.
A couple of years ago when he was living in Bloomington IN, his mother and I were driving in town on a lovely Sunday afternoon with our son in the back seat. suddenly a police car pulls us over. our son is told to get out of the car and to explain what was going on. We told the officer that this was our son. but we were told to step outside the car and suddenly 3 more police cars pulled up quickly and continued to ask for our story and ID's. Eventually we were all allowed to go on our way with a perfunctory apology. Sadly, this type of behavior still exists - even among the people who are there to protect us.
As I said, I truly mean no disrespect. I have dismay, but it it is a feeling that I often have these days as I hear and see the news.
OP, I have not read all the replies, so I may be repeating the advice of others...
If possible you should try to stay the year - but not at the expense of your health: mental, emotional, or physical. I would be sure to get copies of all of your evaluations and make sure that there are no errors.
If there is an office or person in the city or state that covers discrimination in the workplace, I would reach out to them and find out what they can and can't do - and what they need to do it.
And remember, this struggle for equality is one that all good people must play a role in; even if it is just to start by making one's self aware of- as Marvin sang - "What's going on".
KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN
1 Article; 2,675 Posts
That was an advice Jews in Europe were given around 1937. You know how it ended.
It was also an advice I was given by a bipedal of female gender who named me "scum which soils American air" 5 min. before for speaking with an accent.
Those who had a misfortune to grow up like you described, have a freedom of choice to accept the facts of life and get over it all, or return to their sweet old mossy stone and hide under it forever. The former thing can be done. Thousands of immigants do it every year. It is one of the most psychologically painful experiences a human being can go through, but it can be done and results worth the experience many times. Nobody forces anyone to accept this way in a free society, as well as nobody should force anyone under that mossy stone in the name of "understanding" of points of view which are illegal to begin with.
I would agree that just one old cookie parading his Confederate flag all over the place may not be too much to worry about. But what the OP describes looks like a well-rooted system which, due to factors you described, is not humanely possible to fight effectively at the present time. Why then he should spend his only one life and those of his wife dealing with it?
BTW, BON will not help. They do not deal with grievances between nurses and their employers. This is why there were not, so far, a single case of any BON acting in responce to horizontal violence. EEOC can act if OP presents hard evidence, like audio or witnessed statement, but in many states clandestine audio/videotaping is not legal and I guess it is zero possibility to get cooperative witnesses. If he has a whole lot of nerves, time and money, he can try to find a lawyer who will start the process for EEOC complain. But even in this case the hospital will get yet another gentle slap on the wrist.