Should I give up my nursing carrer??

Twoyearnurse · Feb 22, 2014

Your health, spirituality, and sobriety need to come first. If nursing is a trigger for you that you cannot learn to manage you need to let it go. I had to end many relationships, people I loved and admired, because they triggered me and i could not cope with it. It hurts. It is so painful. If you can learn to deal with nursing being a trigger, if you can work a good program, if you can be completely honest with yourself you will find your own answer.

Twoyearnurse · Feb 22, 2014

I have a question for you...when you experienced your long periods of sobriety were you still active in an aa or na program? This is a terrible disease we are coping with, and there is no cure. The treatment, like diabetes, is life long. It tricks us into believing we are well, that we can handle it. Maye your answer lies there?

DiaMarie · Feb 22, 2014

Both times that I have relapsed I had stopped going to meetings about a year before I picked up again. I would become bored with meetings and stray away. I always had a hard time dealing with other health professionals and how they would make negative comments when they were taking care of a fellow addict not knowing that I was an addict also.

Twoyearnurse · Feb 22, 2014

We only keep what we have by giving it back. Have you considered working the steps again and sponsoring someone once you have? I relapsed after I had a few months clean and the difference this time is my sponsor has been on me about talking to new commers, she even wants me to pick up a sponsee. I might be lucky in that my home group for aa is dress up, we have get togethers, moving parties, birthday watches. I find that the more involved I become the more well I feel and in reality am. You can not help what others think- it is hard to not be bitter that those who do not understand the illness judge it do harshly- that is their journey though, not yours. You have your own story. Make it a good one- you deserve it. This illness means death if left untreated. Did you ever get a sponsor while you did attend? I fought that tooth and nail- I didn't want to be part of that club. Once I did squire a sponsor I have found that she is my only gateway to sanity sometimes. She has been where I have been (and she is not even a nurse, but her story is nonetheless the same). It is an amazingly healing thing to be able to call on someone and say "sobriety sucks! I hate this, this isn't fair!" and to hear that it is going to be okay- and even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes, I believe this worked for her and so it will for me. As much as I hate being an alcoholic/addict I am grateful that I have this army behind me to laugh, cry, and rejoice in my successes- and I will have this family that will understand me for the rest of my life.

subee, MSN, CRNA · Feb 22, 2014

Why are you working in a location with access to narcotics?

HunnieBadger · Feb 23, 2014

Id be thinking you need to figure out YOU first. Maybe once you have that figured out perhaps then and only then will you be able to decide if you should still be a nurse.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Feb 23, 2014

I'm with the members who say you need to figure out who you are and what you really want before you can honestly decide whether you want to continue with nursing.

There's a reason you've relapsed several times. There's a reason you've stopped going to meetings. Think about that for a few minutes. What sort of life were you living when you stopped attending meetings? Did you deliberately stop going, or drift away? What was in your mind when you started taking opiates again? Was it a conscious decision, or did you just sort of fall back into it? And what part, if any, did your work play in beginning the cycle over again?

I think you'll know better how to proceed when you figure out the answers to these basic questions, as well as to this one: What do you really want?

Nursing can be extremely rewarding, but it can also be highly stressful and thus triggering. You need to get your life stabilized before you even think about going back. Is there any work you might be qualified for that's less intense and not in nursing? I also believe you would do well to see a therapist, addiction specialist, or other mental health professional if you're not already not doing so. At the very least, get an evaluation and be open-minded about any treatment that may be offered. Substance abuse issues are very frequently related to underlying mental health conditions, which are masked by the use of those substances.

In the long run, only you can decide if you should give up nursing. Please take into consideration the advice you are being given, and seriously.....get help, and stick with it. You are on this earth for a reason. Take care.

DiaMarie · Feb 23, 2014

Ive always done med/surg and emergency room nursing. I love hands on nursing. It has always brought me great joy. I will have to investigate other areas of nursing that may be just as gratifying.

DiaMarie · Feb 23, 2014

Thank you so much for the advice. I am seeing a therapist and have been for many years. I have a history of depression and an eating disorder that I have battled since age 13. My eating disorder had me in and out of hospitals as a kid and is where my love for nurses grew. Ive been a nurse for 17 years and have loved it. Along the way I was drawn to yoga, holistic and alternative medicine and even took up massage therapy for a while and did that on the side because my nursing career afforded me financial stability as a single mom. I love both..traditional nursing and alternative medicine. Im trying to search within myself and find what it is that feeds my soul.

DiaMarie · Feb 23, 2014

I came into recovery in 1998 and was very active in NA for 7 years. Worked steps with a sponsor, had sponsees, went on speaking comittments and was very active in the fellowship. After relapsing after 7 years I then attended AA for 5 years with some NA meetings mixed in but I did the steps again and was just as active in the AA fellowship. I am working the steps again with a sponsor in NA. I know that my eating disorder is directly related to my attendance at meetings and also my relapses and am working on that right now. I have wonderful supportive friends in and out of the rooms and for that I am blessed.

Retired APRN, MSN, RN, APRN · Feb 23, 2014

I've been sober for thirty years and have been blessed never to have had a slip since the first day. I'm not special, not particularly strong, and don't have any secret tricks. What I do have is what my sponsor taught me when I walked in the doors, skinny, trembling, puking, lying, and mistrustful:

* The steps are a "suggested program of recovery" in the same way that a parachute is a "suggested program of survival" if you jump out of an airplane.

* No matter how heavy the telephone feels, pick it up before you pick up a drink.

* If you hang out in slippery places, you'll end up slipping.

* Change your playmates.

And the one I really, really hated:

* If your thinking was so good, how'd you end up here?

As for whether or not to stay in nursing - only you can decide if nursing is too much of a "slippery place" for you. As others have suggested, you might want to stay out of hospital nursing. Or you might want to change careers. Only you can decide that, with the help of your therapist and your sponsor.

I wish you all the best!