DiaMarie

Sounds so familiar. I definitely relate. I wish everyone worked a 12 step program. I wish I could ask people "And what step are you on?" lol But they dont and when I come across the angry, bitter population I turn it around and look at it as kind of an assignment from God and an opportunity to practice my program. It helps to tell myself that this is their crap and sometimes we just manage to get in their line of fire. As my sponsor would tell me "Pray for them".

I was criminally charged yesterday on 2 counts ( 1. theft of cds and 2. tampering with cds) The incident that led to my suspension happened 2 months ago and I was only notified of the criminal charges 2 weeks ago. The hospital that I was working for did not press charges but they did report it to the police. I was handcuffed, fingerprinted and pictured and released ROR. My attorney was there with me the whole time. Today I have to go to court and plead not guilty. Hands down the most humiliating thing Ive ever been through in my life. Does anyone have any experience with this?

I definitely can relate to your story. I am from New Jersey and am in an alternative to discipline program called RAMP (recovery and monitoring program). We do not have to do observed UA testing. I was subjected to it once and felt very uncomfortable. We also can be subjected to hair sampling which is also not fun. The one time that I did an observed test it ended up being a mistake on the part of the lab tech. RAMP is a five year program that shields yr license until they see fit that you are ready to go back to work. It includes random drug screening 2 x a month, attending peer support as well as 12 step meetings. We work with a case manager and have lots of support from other impaired nurses and very compassionate peer support group leaders. Good luck to you on your journey. Everytime you have to do an observed test try and remember that you are "fighting the good fight" and in being vulnerable you are "daring greatly" as Theodore Roosevelt said in his speech "The Man in the Arena". Take care.

I came into recovery in 1998 and was very active in NA for 7 years. Worked steps with a sponsor, had sponsees, went on speaking comittments and was very active in the fellowship. After relapsing after 7 years I then attended AA for 5 years with some NA meetings mixed in but I did the steps again and was just as active in the AA fellowship. I am working the steps again with a sponsor in NA. I know that my eating disorder is directly related to my attendance at meetings and also my relapses and am working on that right now. I have wonderful supportive friends in and out of the rooms and for that I am blessed.

Thank you so much for the advice. I am seeing a therapist and have been for many years. I have a history of depression and an eating disorder that I have battled since age 13. My eating disorder had me in and out of hospitals as a kid and is where my love for nurses grew. Ive been a nurse for 17 years and have loved it. Along the way I was drawn to yoga, holistic and alternative medicine and even took up massage therapy for a while and did that on the side because my nursing career afforded me financial stability as a single mom. I love both..traditional nursing and alternative medicine. Im trying to search within myself and find what it is that feeds my soul.

Ive always done med/surg and emergency room nursing. I love hands on nursing. It has always brought me great joy. I will have to investigate other areas of nursing that may be just as gratifying.

Both times that I have relapsed I had stopped going to meetings about a year before I picked up again. I would become bored with meetings and stray away. I always had a hard time dealing with other health professionals and how they would make negative comments when they were taking care of a fellow addict not knowing that I was an addict also.

I am a recovering impaired nurse. Shamefully, I have a history of 3 situations where I have been clean for long periods of time and relapsed with opiates on the job. All 3 times I have been put into alternative to discipline programs in NJ for impaired nurses. I am facing another 5 years in the RAMP program and will not be completed until 2019. I have spent 24,000 dollars over the years towards keeping my license. I dont know if I can do this again... Any thoughts...