Should handshaking be obliterated from our culture?

[Alnitak7]

Let me ask this question one more time like I did before. I started a thread a long time ago saying I did not like shaking hands and I only do this to keep from being arrogant and rude .

I said one reason I liked working in healthcare because no one ever shakes hands. Some people who responded felt like this was a neurotic preoccupation. Even without a global crisis, there are people who never wash their hands, not even when they cough or at any other time.

Do you think if we never shake hands again in our culture that it would make people seem cold?

[Naturally Brilliant, BSN, RN]

I've worked in healthcare for nearly a decade and I almost always shook hands with people I newly met.

And no, handshaking is part of our etiquette. Things will go back to normal once the Coronavirus crisis is over.

[Alnitak7]

In all the years I worked, I only remember one family member who came in the room and reached out to shake my hand. It seems no matter if they liked my work or not, they never expected me to shake hands.

[Wisco_LPN]

I don’t recall ever having a handshake extended to me whilst I was in scrubs on the floor by patient/family. However, I believe it is proper “etiquette” to shake hands in the U.S upon meeting a new person, perhaps a colleague, or before and after a job interview. Basically it’s done in a more formal setting, not all the time, but mostly. This topic reminds me of the 1993 film Demolition Man that is set to take place in 2032. After the big quake in CA causes LA & SD to become San Angeles and they live thru a big STD pandemic... All are supposed to live in High moral order and TOUCHING is banned altogether ?? Their high-fives OR shake hands are replaced by a gesture in which two people aim their hands at each other, stop a few inches apart, and then mime a circular window-washing routine...?.Obliterate handshaking...? Who know?. Maybe!

[Alnitak7]

As well as talking about 2032, check out this video about 1918, slide it up to 33 minutes and you'll see I'm not the first one to think about this. Between 33:00 minutes and 33:30 minutes there's the mention of handshaking.

https://www.Youtube.com/watch?v=UDY5COg2P2c

"1918 Spanish Flu historical documentary / Swine Flue Pandemic/ Deadly plague of 1918"

[Alnitak7]

Let me ask one more time, should handshaking be obliterated from our culture?     Covid and other illnesses are still spreading.  

 

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Alnitak7 said:

Let me ask one more time, should handshaking be obliterated from our culture?     Covid and other illnesses are still spreading.  

 

In my experience many cultures do not routinely shake hands which culture are you refering to?

Hppy

 

[Alnitak7]

To this day, I still rarely ever like to shake hands and with someone who I just met, it makes me feel violated.   This was one good thing about the pandemic, it made it so I didn't have to shake hands as often.    It gives me a bad feeling when every so often, someone still expects this.   

[offlabel]

Fist bumping is a thing now so there's that, but I'm gonna guess door handles and stair hand rails in hospitals make shaking hands look like a sterile ortho pack.

[JKL33]

Alnitak7 said:

it makes me feel violated.

Don't reciprocate if it makes you feel that way; don't violate yourself.  Just smile and say "aw, no thanks, I don't shake hands but I'm glad to meet you." Pretty simple.

 It's fine that you don't enjoy shaking hands and don't want to do it. You shouldn't have to, and you in fact do not have to.  But remember, the root of it in most typical social/business situations, is to properly greet you in a respectful manner. 

In your OP above from 2020 you wrote that you reciprocate in order to avoid being seen as rude. I would not think someone rude if they preferred not to have the physical contact of a handshake; it's a completely reasonable preference. But I also don't think that those who still offer to shake hands  are out of line. They are trying to offer what they have been taught is a proper greeting, not trying to violate you. It is an offer; if accepting it will make you feel violated then don't do it. But don't do it and then feel as if that person has violated you or has caused you to feel violated. That's not fair when you have the option of responding as suggested above. 

- It isn't weird to offer the handshake, but it is wrong to expect that the other person must reciprocate

- It isn't weird to decline a handshake but it is wrong to do it and then associate bad feelings with the person who offered it

JMO

 

[offlabel]

JKL33 said:

 

- It isn't weird to offer the handshake, but it is wrong to expect that the other person must reciprocate

- It isn't weird to decline a handshake but it is wrong to do it and then associate bad feelings with the person who offered it

JMO

 

Nah, it is weird and awkward especially in professional settings in the United States. If it's not someone's thing, no shame, but own the negative consequences if dying on that hill. I guess offering a 'fist bump' is becoming a socially acceptable option, but the higher you go on the food chain, the more formal the settings and the more negative the non-conformist consequences there are. 

[JKL33]

offlabel said:

Nah, it is weird and awkward especially in professional settings in the United States

yeah, true, I meant I personally wouldn't think "weirdo" if someone doesn't want to shake hands. And I think it's another one of those personal preferences that people don't need to be judged over.