Should boyfriend help me out?

Nursing Students General Students

Published

Nurses Month 2024 | Discounts & Freebies AORN Celebrates Nurses Month

I am attending a community college for an accelerated nursing program. I currently work at a small local restaurant and get paid only minimum wage. My school schedule only allows me to work 3 days a week including weekends; therefore, I am making no money. I'm not qualified for student aid and the school I attend does not participate in any student loan programs. I've tried applying at other restaurants such as Chili's and Olive Garden but I don't get hired because they do training in mornings which I cannot attend because of school hours. My parents are putting gas in my car, but they can only help out so much. I still have a car note to pay and credit card bill. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. I have several girls in my class and their boyfriend is helping them out. Many girls were even able to quit their jobs because their boyfriend will give them money. I hate to work more hours and start failing school because of it. Do you think my boyfriend should be helping me out? Should he offer to put gas in my car, give me $50 or so? I don't think it is his obligation to help me out, but I feel he should.

Specializes in crital care.

I absolutely think your boyfriend should help you out, and if he doesn't do it willingly, find another boyfriend. I say this because I can cetrainly relate to your situation. I was unable to work during my two years at a community college, and much like your school mine did not participate in any student loan programs. I did take out private loans which my boyfriend had to co sign, but they did not carry me all the way through, and where the loans left off my boyfriend of 2 years picked up the slack. You are going to need all the support you can get to make it out with your degee, your license, and your sanity, so I would suggest having a long sit down talk with your boyfriend about contributions he could make to ease the burden a little. After all once you're done you both will reap the benefits of a career in nursing. Good luck to you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Two words for you: Student Loans. Take them. Your new job after nursing school may give you a sign on bonus (put it towards the loans) and my have some kind of loan repayment program. Just ask yourself this: when you're making more money as a nurse, are you going to help him out when he decides to go to (or go back to) school? Didn't think so.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I absolutely think your boyfriend should help you out, and if he doesn't do it willingly, find another boyfriend. I say this because I can cetrainly relate to your situation. I was unable to work during my two years at a community college, and much like your school mine did not participate in any student loan programs. I did take out private loans which my boyfriend had to co sign, but they did not carry me all the way through, and where the loans left off my boyfriend of 2 years picked up the slack. You are going to need all the support you can get to make it out with your degee, your license, and your sanity, so I would suggest having a long sit down talk with your boyfriend about contributions he could make to ease the burden a little. After all once you're done you both will reap the benefits of a career in nursing. Good luck to you.

I can't even believe I read this.

OP - It's not anyone's job to support you but you. If he'd like to help in some small way, that would be a lovely gesture.....but I'm thinking if he offered to help, you wouldn't have asked if he should help out.

It's lovely that your parents are helping out by letting you live there rent free.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I can't even believe I read this

:yeahthat::yeahthat:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I absolutely think your boyfriend should help you out, and if he doesn't do it willingly, find another boyfriend. I say this because I can cetrainly relate to your situation. I was unable to work during my two years at a community college, and much like your school mine did not participate in any student loan programs. I did take out private loans which my boyfriend had to co sign, but they did not carry me all the way through, and where the loans left off my boyfriend of 2 years picked up the slack. You are going to need all the support you can get to make it out with your degee, your license, and your sanity, so I would suggest having a long sit down talk with your boyfriend about contributions he could make to ease the burden a little. After all once you're done you both will reap the benefits of a career in nursing. Good luck to you.

I'm sorry, but I totally DISAGREE with your post. Your post has "entitlement" written all over it. Since when are you ENTITLED to financial support from a boyfriend you are DATING?

If a boyfriend WANTS to support you financially, that's HIS choice. However, it's not his moral obligation to do so. You are no more entitled to financial support from him than his is entitled to a home cooked meal and clean laundry from you. If you CHOOSE to do those things, that's all good, however, it shouldnt be a requirement in a DATING relationship.

I'm sorry, but I simply don't agree that a man should be REQUIRED to support a woman financially just because he is simply dating her. This all implies to an even exchange if you know what I mean.

I am a current nursing student and have less than a year to go. For the last 3 years, I have been going HARD to save enough money to financially support myself for a year without having to worry about work. I am a single parent of an 11 year old, and a home owner. I left a very well paying job to pursue nursing full time and was blessed to be offered a generous buyout package. Even if that was not the case, I would not EXPECT my boyfriend to come in and rescue me from my responsiblity of paying a mortgage and car payment all because I am dating him and it's his moral obligation to do so. It was MY choice to leave my job, go to nursing school full time, and not work for the first year. That had nothing to do with him. However, he can offer support in other ways, such as emotionally and mentally.

Whatever a boyfriend chooses to do should be greatly appericated and not taken for granted due to this entitlement attitude.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER.
I absolutely think your boyfriend should help you out, and if he doesn't do it willingly, find another boyfriend. I say this because I can cetrainly relate to your situation. I was unable to work during my two years at a community college, and much like your school mine did not participate in any student loan programs. I did take out private loans which my boyfriend had to co sign, but they did not carry me all the way through, and where the loans left off my boyfriend of 2 years picked up the slack. You are going to need all the support you can get to make it out with your degee, your license, and your sanity, so I would suggest having a long sit down talk with your boyfriend about contributions he could make to ease the burden a little. After all once you're done you both will reap the benefits of a career in nursing. Good luck to you.

I do think I understand what you're saying, though many are taking it as you believe it should be a free ride. If I am understanding you correctly, someone who loves you and supports you should do so if you are in the process of bettering yourself and need some help to make ends meet. To an extent, I can understand that type of thinking, but it shouldn't be a requirement (as all other posters are writing). It CAN all work out in the end with having a well-paying nursing career, so that she can then be in the position to reciprocate, if they so choose.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Another thing I would like to add:

I don't know how many court shows I have seen where a man/woman was suing their "ex" boyfriend/girlfriend because they helped them financially during their "dating" relationship. The relationship fails, and now they want to recoup their losses.

Just something to think about.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics.

I don't think a boyfriend is in any way obligated to help you financially. If you two had a child together I would feel differently.

If he ever offers though take him up on it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in crital care.

Everyone is entitled to heir own opinion, and as a single parent raising a 10 year old son I am raising him to understand the difference between a good man and a great man. A good boyfriend sees his girlfriend struggle and says here is 20.00 for gas, but a great man sees the same and offers to help out in any way he can. I can't believe some of the posts I have been reading that would say that after 3 years of dating, a young man who supposedly has the extra funds to help his girlfriend who is trying to go to school to earn a better living for herself which I am certain he will reap the benefits of as well, shouldn't help out. There certainly is no financial obligation in this matter but I can't imagine just sitting back watching someone I love struggle to make ends meet knowing that I am in the position financially to help out, whether he is my boyfriend, husband or otherwise. And I certainly couldn't imagine staying in a relationship with someone who has no problem sitting back watching me struggle to make ends meet knowing that he has the financial ability to help. Just because he's ONLY my boyfriend. I don't think so. When you love someone you support them in any way you can emotionally, spirtually, and if possible financially.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Everyone is entitled to heir own opinion, and as a single parent raising a 10 year old son I am raising him to understand the difference between a good man and a great man. A good boyfriend sees his girlfriend struggle and says here is 20.00 for gas, but a great man sees the same and offers to help out in any way he can. I can't believe some of the posts I have been reading that would say that after 3 years of dating, a young man who supposedly has the extra funds to help his girlfriend who is trying to go to school to earn a better living for herself which I am certain he will reap the benefits of as well, shouldn't help out. There certainly is no financial obligation in this matter but I can't imagine just sitting back watching someone I love struggle to make ends meet knowing that I am in the position financially to help out, whether he is my boyfriend, husband or otherwise. And I certainly couldn't imagine staying in a relationship with someone who has no problem sitting back watching me struggle to make ends meet knowing that he has the financial ability to help. Just because he's ONLY my boyfriend. I don't think so. When you love someone you support them in any way you can emotionally, spirtually, and if possible financially.

Who even says this "boyfriend" has the finanically ability to help her simply because she's been "counting" HIS money? Just because he stays at HOME with HIS parents? The OP stays at HOME with her parents as well.

These two are simply dating. And if it were THAT serious, they would be living TOGETHER, not each of them living with their parents. It don't matter how many years they've been "dating".

So, in this case, I simply don't feel it's her boyfriend's moral DUTY to help her financially. We don't know what her boyfriend's future plans are. He could be saving up to buy a house, or may be saving up to go back to school himself, or he may just be paying off his OWN student loans.

I feel whatever he CHOOSES to do for her is because he wants to, not because he is morally obligated to simply because he is dating her. And she must not be stuggling too much, she is LIVING rent free with her parents, it's not like she is at risk of losing HER house. Now, that's STRUGGLING.

I feel if he CHOOSES to give her a few bucks here or there, or may OFFER to fill her tank, or may offer to take her out to relieve her stress of nursing school IS showing support. Just because he is not WILLINGLY taking on HER bills, in addition to HIS own don't mean he is NOT supporting her.

It's the whole entitlement attitude.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER.
Who even says this "boyfriend" has the finanically ability to help her simply because she's been "counting" HIS money? Just because he stays at HOME with HIS parents? The OP stays at HOME with her parents as well.

These two are simply dating. And if it were THAT serious, they would be living TOGETHER, not each of them living with their parents. It don't matter how many years they've been "dating".

So, in this case, I simply don't feel it's her boyfriend's moral DUTY to help her financially. We don't know what her boyfriend's future plans are. He could be saving up to buy a house, or may be saving up to go back to school himself, or he may just be paying off his OWN student loans.

I feel whatever he CHOOSES to do for her is because he wants to, not because he is morally obligated to simply because he is dating her. And she must not be stuggling too much, she is LIVING rent free with her parents, it's not like she is at risk of losing HER house. Now, that's STRUGGLING.

I feel if he CHOOSES to give her a few bucks here or there, or may OFFER to fill her tank, or may offer to take her out to relieve her stress of nursing school IS showing support. Just because he is not WILLINGLY taking on HER bills, in addition to HIS own don't mean he is NOT supporting her.

It's the whole entitlement attitude.

all of those stressed capitalizations are on my nerves!!!:eek:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
all of those stressed capitalizations are on my nerves!!!:eek:

Sorry, it's kinda my online personality when I really want to put an emphasis on something. I speak the same way when I really want to stress something (in a personal conversation, that is).

I'll try to tone it down. :chuckle

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment