Share Your Saying

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i find that a lot of people who post have a lot of great saying attached to there post for example like

"i am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how i react to it." (charles swindoll) if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans

i find it hard to go through everyones posting to find great saying so thought i start a tread so you can post yours and this way i can have a collection of saying all in one spot .........some of them are really funny, some are deep and make you think, some are sweet ...so please post and share your sayings since some of them are really great to read...........thanks angela

i have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend he is away so i love to write to him and add a little quote or story something to make him laugh or think or smile or just feel thought of so appreciate your contributions to my attempting to getting a collection thanks

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Found this in a Spanish language newspaper several years ago and have liked it ever since:

Politicians are like socks; the one on the right and the one on the left both smell like the same thing.

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Specializes in Tele/L&D,NSY,PP,Education,Mgmt.

"Life is too short to be miserable"

make those changes if you are unhappy, everyday counts

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

Don't be so openminded your brains fall out.

That person's so ugly s/he would make a freight train take a dirt road.

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Handy as hip pockets on a hog.

So ugly that his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn't have to kiss him goodbye.

Looks like he sorts bobcats for a living.

I Got a Million of them ,most are not too"nice"

id love to add obscure ones to my collection,Can you help me? rmember Igot all the easy to find ones!!!!!!!!!!

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Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.

My mom (from TN) used to say, "I bet that went over like a t*rd in a punchbowl."

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Specializes in Childrens Behavior Health.

"All bleeding eventually stops"

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my personal motto

Who died and made me the Queen of nice?

OR on a really bad day

You and whose army?

And

"Alcohol is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"

Benjamin Franklin

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven.

Soooooo, lets all get drunk and go to

Heaven!"

Brian O'Rourke.

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself " Tis better that I better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my Liver"

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dang dang

all of these are funny and when i need them in a conversation i won't be able to think of any of them till the next day

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ER.

The only difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver is that the golfer goes whack, dang and the skydiver goes dang, wack.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ER.

don't remember where i got this one...

this is from a strictly mathematical view piont

what makes 100%?

what does it really mean to give more than 100%?

i figured it out here goes...

if: a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z are numbers...

[color=#556b2f]so:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ..........................and so on

[color=#556b2f] hard work: 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 that only adds up to 98%

[color=#556b2f] knowledge: 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 adds up to 96%

[color=#556b2f] attitude: 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5= 100%

[color=#556b2f] bull**it: 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20=103%

[color=#556b2f] as*kissing: 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7=118%

[color=#556b2f] so from this one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hardwork and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bull**it and as*kissing tha will put you over the top!!

[color=#556b2f]

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ER.

depression is merely anger without any enthusiasm:coollook:

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Specializes in Urgent Care.

I dont know who to attibute it too, but I like,

"Most of my money I spent on boats and women.

The rest I've squandered."

Dad used to say,

"If you dance to the tune you pay the piper."

or when some one comes up with a bad idea,

"Lets not, and say we did."

I also like,

"There are two theories when arguing with a woman. Neither works."

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