Share The Weirdest Reasons Patients Push The Call Light

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2012

I often wish there were separate remotes for the TV & the call bell. Down here, they are all in one. So many people, especially older people (not dementias) get them confused. They cannot distinguish b/ween the two. I am so tired of going into pt's rooms & explaining that the one with the LIGHTBULB is for the light (you would think that would be obvious, no really!). The one saying TV is for the tv. The one with NURSE written on it is for the nurse. I mean one CN I worked with queried: How much clearer could we make it??

People are plain idiots.

nursecat64 · Jan 22, 2012

A patient once asked someone to spread his butt cheeks so he could fart. The nurses reply...."I will NOT!"

Yes.. these stories are true! We had a lady who was exactly like that, she would ring her call light and ask the aid to do spread her cheeks to pass gas. She also rang for the bedpan (she could get up to the bedside commode but was always "just too tired." She made the aide stand there and hold her butt cheeks apart so she could "poop properly" they had to hold the pan to her backside while she sort of laid halfway between back and side) and if they refused...she would say "oh, guess I don't have to go after all" -20 minutes later,- the call light would ring because ("oops, had an accident") she would be covered in *** that had somehow gotten everywhere! So that's why the staff usually gave in to her-they did not want to be "punished" (which would involve giving a shower, clean clothes, scrubbing fingernails, changing all linen...etc!) :banghead:

nursesrock100 · Jan 23, 2012

These stories are hilarious!! Here is some of my experiences:

One daughter was obviously feeling very guilty about putting her mom into a ltc facility. She wanted to change rooms because the room was painted "green" and green made her mom depressed.

Had ones ring to raise bed up, then no, that's too high. Back down, no..That's too low. By the time we were done, it was in the same place it had started. :bugeyes:

One called 911 to order a pizza.

Had another screaming help! Which scared the staff to death. Ran in only to discover they just wanted to be pulled up in bed!

Had lots of older male patients who depend on their wives for everything. They look to the nurses and CNAs to do everything. And you can almost see the relief in the wives eyes. They are finally getting a break!!:w00t:

sasha3033 · Jan 29, 2012

frankly, i think this humor is offensive -- you are all in the healing profession and you are laughing at 101 year old people who are ill? shame on you. I understand that stress creates black humor, but sounds like you all need to find some compassion and empathy

MPKH, BSN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

I had a patient once who rang the call bell to tell us that he couldn't reach the call bell...

rkitty198, BSN, RN · Jan 29, 2012

frankly, i think this humor is offensive -- you are all in the healing profession and you are laughing at 101 year old people who are ill? shame on you. I understand that stress creates black humor, but sounds like you all need to find some compassion and empathy

This is not humor, these are our stories of real life. It is the compassion we have to stay in a field of work where this kind of stuff happens.

ErinS, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

The best in a long time: Had a pt hit the call light. When the nurse (I work hospice and was just standing in the hall) went in to ask what she wanted the pt responded: "You better keep your voice down out there. President Obama is in the hospital, and he just called, and he is coming up here to visit me."

We all had a good laugh over that!

japae5 · Jan 31, 2012

Humor helps us keep our perspective in the midst of all the stress! Lighten up sasha3033

GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

A patient once asked someone to spread his butt cheeks so he could fart. The nurses reply...."I will NOT!"

I totally lost it with this one... I'm still LMAO !!!!! :lol2:

nursefrances, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2012

I am glad I found this thread! I needed a good laugh after the rough day I had at work today.

Here's my funny story:

A 70 year old male patient wanted to be put back on his bipap machine after eating his lunch. When I went to his room to answer his call light he said with a straight face and calm voice: "Can you call the respiratory therapist so she can put me back on the pap smear machine."

I knew what he meant and he didn't realize what he had said. I told him no problem and I would be right back. I called the RT (in a quiet, private area) and told her verbatim what he wanted (barely able to control my laughter). For the rest of the of the day whenever the RT and I passed in the hallway we would stop and look at each other and burst out laughing.

nursefrances, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2012

We had a guy on a PCA pump, who did not react well to some pain meds, call 911 and his family to say he was locked (by hospital staff) in his closet (you can barely hang a hanger in there let alone put a person). Hmmmm. If he was locked in the closet how could he reach his bedside phone. After the pain meds were out of his system he didn't remember any of that fiasco and he was the nicest patient ever.

nursefrances, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2012

I was called to a room in assisted living because we had a 101 yr old man that was terrified because "his plumbing was gone!". Come to find out he must have been cold, and his "johnson" shrank back.
This must really be an elderly issue with the men, because I don't know how many times I have heard nurses talking about this. :chuckle[/quote
Yep....had this happen before, had to put a foley in a patient, pulled back the sheets and lo and behold couldn't find it.]