It was just a lousy week,began with verbal abuse from patient's family member,and tonight,walked out of the unit with tears.
I work in NICU.Tonight it was a busy shift as i was looking after 3 babies and one of them has Neonatal abstinence syndrome,she was very unsettled and required lots of attention.
I was supposed to finish at 10pm,but after handover and writing notes,it was already 1030pm,while i was about to walk out of the unit,Jenny,who has been in the unit since 80s or maybe 70s,said very coldly:"Wash Tyler's bottle before you go."I was too busy between 9 to 10 so Baby Tyler's feeding bottle was still left on the bench beside his isollete.Night staff Sue heard Jenny and quickly said to me:"don't worry,you go and i will do it."Sue was the one looking after Tyler over night.
Before i could say anything,Jenny said to Sue in an even colder voice:"Let her do it,you didn't do the feed."
I cleaned the bottle and walked out of the unit with tears.
I know it's not right to leave the bottle unwashed,but there are times you are simply too busy to be perfect.Most of the time i work hard,make sure everything is done before finishing shift,I'm not being lazy to leave my stuff to the next shift.There are also times i cleaned bottles for the previous-shift staff,but without much complaint.Why Jenny can;t be a little bit polite?I asked myself:Shall i be treated like that just because of an unwashed bottle?
I feel really hurt by Jenny's attitude.
Working with Jenny has never been easy.When she teaches me things, it's just hard not to have the feeling of being silly or being teased for not-knowing that.The "you are an idiot " way she looked at me when i didn;t get her words was one of the worst moments in life. I really feel Jenny is the one who always carries a stick ,and ready to hit me anytime when she got a chance,unfortunately i'm a junior nurse,soft in personality and from overseas.
Is this something i shoud expect from senior staff?Am i making a fuss?Will you do the same thing as Jenny if this happened in your unit?
What shall i do with that now?what can i do if this happens next time?
Feel really sad.
PS.--I'm not trying to pity myself,but i do want to say,if possible,please be nice to those good overseas nurses in your units,simply for equality not the minority,for the beauty from diversity,the difficult situation of starting everything overseas,and the courage.
Sorry to hear you're being treated this way. It's never an enjoyable experience, I know exactly how you feel. Have you ever spoken to Jenny one-on-one and told her how you feel? Maybe you need to call a meeting with her so you can let her know just how she's been making you feel and that you don't appreciate it. Maybe she doesn't realize how ugly and unprofessional she sounds when she speaks to you, or maybe she thinks it's ok to be that way, because no one has ever said anything about it.
Unfortunately, there are people like her just about everywhere, in every profession. I'm currently pre-nursing, (still stuck at my office job) and I had to let my new boss know how he was making me feel. This Jenny sounds JUST like my boss, but a female version! LOL He has made me feel exactly the way Jenny makes you feel...like they're waiting to beat you with their stick the moment you do something "wrong". I figured if I didn't speak up, it would have continued. After that talk, I felt so much better. He actually apologized and has been treating me a lot better since.
You could try talking to her behind closed doors, and if that still doesn't help, take it up the chain of command. Most bullies continue bullying because no one ever confronts them. Someone has to take a stand -- but in a professional manner! Good luck to you! :redpinkhe
Try not to let her attitude effect you. The way one acts has to do with what is going on inside of them. When someone treats you like that, they usually have something going on inside of them. Try not to let others dictate how you feel about yourself. I have had to learn this lesson and it has greatly increased my self-esteem. Her bad attitude is HER problem, not yours!!
Wow....an unwashed bottle? Sounds like Jenny was looking for something to gripe about. It's her problem, not yours. Make sure you wash all the bottles next time and give her nothing to complain about. I've found other coworkers who talk that way, look for fault in others work and have superior attitudes do so because they are insecure.
I learned that you should never take anything personally. I had a hard time understanding what that meant till it was explained that when someone is mean or says things like she did , Don't take it personally because she is the one that has the problem. There are ways of dealing with people like her. I think I would have said to the girl that said she would wash out the bottle, "WOULD YOU WASH IT FOR ME"? I have had a really tough night and would appreciate your help.Then smile . Kill her with kindness. That should shut her up. PS if your interested in the other agreements , there is a book called the 4 AGREEMENTS by Don Ruiz. Really good !
OP, is this Jenny person your boss? If not, I'd confront her. This sounds scary, but you can do it in a calm professional manner. Simply state that she doesn't need to take that tone with you, next time she pulls something like she did with the bottle, calmly state that Sue said she'd do it, and leave.
She is bullying you. But most of these people are cowards at heart. Once you call them on the nonsense, they find a new victim. Good luck.
The OP needs to be strong enough to look Jenny in the eye and say "Mind your own business." If Sue was fine with cleaning the bottle, she could have left the bottle, it's not a big deal.
That's the stance you should take. If the nurse taking over Tyler's care didn't mind washing the bottle it was none of Jenny's business. You should have thanked Sue and walked out the door. Period. You don't even need to address Jenny in that situation as it doesn't involve her. If however you wanted to address Jenny you could have as well by stating, "Mind your own business." Perhaps if you stand up to her versus doing as she says she will keep her trap shut next time. Bullies don't like when others put them in their place.
Dottie78
116 Posts
Sorry to hear you're being treated this way. It's never an enjoyable experience, I know exactly how you feel. Have you ever spoken to Jenny one-on-one and told her how you feel? Maybe you need to call a meeting with her so you can let her know just how she's been making you feel and that you don't appreciate it. Maybe she doesn't realize how ugly and unprofessional she sounds when she speaks to you, or maybe she thinks it's ok to be that way, because no one has ever said anything about it.
Unfortunately, there are people like her just about everywhere, in every profession. I'm currently pre-nursing, (still stuck at my office job) and I had to let my new boss know how he was making me feel. This Jenny sounds JUST like my boss, but a female version! LOL He has made me feel exactly the way Jenny makes you feel...like they're waiting to beat you with their stick the moment you do something "wrong". I figured if I didn't speak up, it would have continued. After that talk, I felt so much better. He actually apologized and has been treating me a lot better since.
You could try talking to her behind closed doors, and if that still doesn't help, take it up the chain of command. Most bullies continue bullying because no one ever confronts them. Someone has to take a stand -- but in a professional manner! Good luck to you! :redpinkhe