Seeking advice -- please consider helping

GingerSue · Jul 7, 2007

Hello everyone
Do I need to continue with therapy? How long will this go on?
Thank you in advance. I appreciate all of your answers.

maybe it depends if you find therapy to be helpful?

maybe it depends on your reasons for having the nightmares, or

how you accept?

EmmaG, RN · Jul 7, 2007

Yes, it's normal.

Give yourself time to grieve. The grieving process is fluid; there is no 'set time' for you get through it. Six months is nothing compared to the time you spent loving your mom.

I lost my mother 12 years ago. I still miss her terribly and have days when I feel down.

A friend gave me this book a few months after Mom died. It took some time before I was able to pick it up and actually read it, but it helped me work through that time.

http://www.amazon.com/Motherless-Daughters-Legacy-Hope-Edelman/dp/0385314388

There are online support sites that were started up due to the popularity of this book. It may or may not be the time for you to look into this, but in case you're interested.

http://motherlessdaug.meetup.com/about/

caliotter3 · Jul 7, 2007

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and how deeply this is affecting you. It took almost a full 20 years before I really was able to deal with the loss of my husband. Circumstances did not allow me to grieve at all when he passed away and counseling was not an option. Then, after all this time, something happened, and there it was. I hope that you can find solace intellectually if not yet emotionally, knowing that she is at rest. You will grieve in your own way and heal at your own pace. Just realize this as you deal with the world around you. God Bless.

ICRN2008, BSN, RN · Jul 7, 2007

My father passed away eight years ago and I still have down days. I don't think that we can ever expect to be the same person that we were before such a big loss. I found counseling helpful only because it forced me to face my grief instead of "stuffing it" as my psychologist said. I am in a much better place now than I was before I decided to get help.

Have you asked your counselor what he or she thinks about continuing to work at the same hospital where your mom spent time as a patient? It may be that doing so is too much for you to process right now, and working in a different setting would allow you to confront your grief at your own pace.

I hope that the world begins to look a little bit brighter for you with each day that passes.

TazziRN, RN · Jul 7, 2007

My brother died in 1989 in the ICU of the hospital I worked at. I left there in 1999. I worked ER; whenever a pt was admitted to a monitored bed the ER nurse had to accompany him/her to the unit. In that ten years I was never able to take a pt to the bed my brother died in.

Yes, it's normal. Yes, you should continue with therapy. If you're not seeing any difference in yourself then perhaps you should find another therapist, one who specializes in grief therapy, but don't stop.

rnurse2b · Jul 8, 2007

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I am taking anti-depressants, on anti-anxiety meds. I pray each and every day it will get better.

I will look for a grief counselor, thanks for that heads up! I had been talking with the hospice counselor at the hospital, I'm thinking I will look for someone else.

Thank you all!

donsterRN, ASN, BSN · Jul 8, 2007

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.

I think speaking to a grief counselor is a wonderful idea, and I hope you find one that will provide the comfort and support you need.

Sending you gentle hugs, my friend. :icon_hug:

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Jul 8, 2007

Be Gentle With Yourself. You're a wonderful daughter and what you're experiencing is normal. Do continue with therapy. If it's not helping try a different therapist. God Bless you for taking care of your Mom, she is smiling down on you. You know she wouldn't want you to be so unhappy but you also know that she understands that it's because you miss her.