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I had an situation yesterday, that I was completely unprepared and unsure how to respond to this, especially in my school where Sex Ed is not allowed.

I had a student, age 13, come in and tell me she had her first sexual experience with her boyfriend of 16. And that they didn't use a condom and she was happy she had her period.

The only thing I told her is that she needs to be careful on these things and she needs to tell her parents or our dean of students, because of pregnancy and the age of consent, use protection and such. She didn't want to because she was afraid she would get in trouble.

She left and I was in lost on what to do, do I report it to my dean of students, do I call CPS? I searched on the age of consent and I saw the laws and this situation got worse because of her age.

I told my dean of students, who in all honestly didn't know what to do about this issue because she never had this issue before, so we had to call our central office and they told us we need to tell the parents and inform the child what we're doing.

Now I'm going to have to talk to her with the DoS and explain to her why I'm doing this, even thought she told me in confidence.

Before we go on this topic, Texas Law has a lot of things, including the Romeo and Juliet Clause, but even though, they are 3 years apart, she is still considered a minor and such a minor here in 13 years old, and below that age is considered statutory rape and other things that can make more harm than good. As well I am in a Public Charter School.

I'm not sure how to approach this at all, these kids come talk to me because we have a counselor who only comes once a week and it's mostly for issues that she is told about like suicide or other things. Most of the things I'm told are "I like this boy" or "This girl is so mean" and I tell my DoS about it because she handles these issues, but now this?

What do I do? What should I do?

Edit: I was told I don't need to be in this meeting, and apparently mother is coming to come talk to our DoS with the child.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
This.

Until they get a counselor, the kids are going to come to YOU.

What a disservice to the children.

I know, but as I said the last time, we have a counselor but she comes sometimes for students and our DoS is kinda like a counselor but I feel the same way. I don't think she understands she's kinda like an authority figure and I'm not, If you have an issue and you're 11-13 years old, who are going to go to who won't report back to your parents if you mess up?

Lately I had this girl who has been telling about this girl giving her issues, but I keep telling her to see our DoS, but she refuses and I can't do anything much except listen to her. I give her some advice, but she still is having issues.

I honestly can't help that these kids trust me.

I know, but as I said the last time, we have a counselor but she comes sometimes for students and our DoS is kinda like a counselor but I feel the same way. I don't think she understands she's kinda like an authority figure and I'm not, If you have an issue and you're 11-13 years old, who are going to go to who won't report back to your parents if you mess up?

Lately I had this girl who has been telling about this girl giving her issues, but I keep telling her to see our DoS, but she refuses and I can't do anything much except listen to her. I give her some advice, but she still is having issues.

I honestly can't help that these kids trust me.

Its a good thing.

Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..
Well my admin sent me an email about the situation:

1) We were just told to contact parents, by our superiors, not CPS

2) as a mandated reporter, I don't need admin's approval to contact them, but if I need to contact them I need to provide a copy of the report or case # for student's record.

4) I should inform admin immediately via phone or text to ensure the safety of our students.

So you are told not to contact CPS, but your admins need to be contacted for the safety of the student. Nope. Sorry admin's, but you aren't really on a need to know basis about the sexual health of the students if you don't want CPS contacted. Parents, yes. CPS, probably. I just don't like that they want you to tell thembut not CPS.Maybe I'm just grouchy at admins. :blink:

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

We did contact the parents, but CPS... not sure if I should have or not.

Specializes in School nursing.

Chiming in on this thread, as I've been following it. OP, I wish your school had more resources for you, I do. I'm sorry they don't.

But health = safety. STI transmission is a health risk and the spread of an infection. We help prevent the spread of infections. 1 in 4 new HIV diagnoses in this country are to a young person between the ages of 16 and 24. (Interesting link here: HIV in the United States | Statistics Overview | Statistics Center | HIV/AIDS | CDC. 4% of HIV diagnoses in 2015 were to those between 13 & 19 and 37% to those between 20 and 29).

Helping a student stay healthy is my #1 concern. Sexual health is, well, part of health. I teach sex education. Comprehensive sex education. We start sex ed in grade 6 with puberty. I talk to student about STIs in grades 7, 8, 10, and 12. It is fact based only. I spend home information to parents and remind them they are the #1 sexual educator for their child. But some parents don't know where to start and need the resources and appreciate them. I have never had a parent opt their child out of sex ed.

But I also live in a state that supports comprehensive sex education. I feel lucky about this, and I applaud those of you in states where comprehensive sex education is just not an option on the table. My state also protects conversations about a student's sexual health and I am not allowed to document anything about them in a student's school health record because of this protection.

I tell students to find a caring adult. Sometimes this person isn't a parent. Sometimes it ends up starting with me and it is a very fine line to walk. I encourage them to talk with a caring adult at home, which may be an aunt, a sibling over the age of 18, even a close family friend. I have even help facilitate a parent discussion if the student is willing, but needs support to do so. But more than anything, I am happy they are willing to start any conversation with me at least. I'm happy they are willing to start with anyone.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Chiming in on this thread, as I've been following it. OP, I wish your school had more resources for you, I do. I'm sorry they don't.

But health = safety. STI transmission is a health risk and the spread of an infection. We help prevent the spread of infections. 1 in 4 new HIV diagnoses in this country are to a young person between the ages of 16 and 24. (Interesting link here: HIV in the United States | Statistics Overview | Statistics Center | HIV/AIDS | CDC. 4% of HIV diagnoses in 2015 were to those between 13 & 19 and 37% to those between 20 and 29).

Helping a student stay healthy is my #1 concern. Sexual health is, well, part of health. I teach sex education. Comprehensive sex education. We start sex ed in grade 6 with puberty. I talk to student about STIs in grades 7, 8, 10, and 12. It is fact based only. I spend home information to parents and remind them they are the #1 sexual educator for their child. But some parents don't know where to start and need the resources and appreciate them. I have never had a parent opt their child out of sex ed.

But I also live in a state that supports comprehensive sex education. I feel lucky about this, and I applaud those of you in states where comprehensive sex education is just not an option on the table. My state also protects conversations about a student's sexual health and I am not allowed to document anything about them in a student's school health record because of this protection.

I tell students to find a caring adult. Sometimes this person isn't a parent. Sometimes it ends up starting with me and it is a very fine line to walk. I encourage them to talk with a caring adult at home, which may be an aunt, a sibling over the age of 18, even a close family friend. I have even help facilitate a parent discussion if the student is willing, but needs support to do so. But more than anything, I am happy they are willing to start any conversation with me at least. I'm happy they are willing to start with anyone.

That's a good thing to say, I think it sounds better than tell your parent or DoS. I'm very lucky to be working here and the children trusting me so much to tell me their issues, but I wish our state wasn't so conservative that they can actually give a good sexual education that these deserve and maybe we wouldn't have this much problems of teenage mothers or anything else...

Thank you all for the support and replies. I was a bit scared to ask this on here and thought I would be mauled for my decisions.

Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..

Thank you all for the support and replies. I was a bit scared to ask this on here and thought I would be mauled for my decisions.

This is the school nurses forum. We don't maul. Another reason why I love you guys. Even if we disagree with one another we are very respectful.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
This is the school nurses forum. We don't maul. Another reason why I love you guys. Even if we disagree with one another we are very respectful.

I completely agree! :)

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

End of our tale:

I spoke with girl last week, she says she knows I did the right thing and it was for the best. She broke up with the boy and is currently going out with someone her age. Took care of her quickly and she left to class.

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