RN is he making a pass at me what will this do to my job

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I work at a hospital as a pharmaccy tech while I'm going to school for nursing. There is this ICU nurse who is very friendly to me such as telling me I smell good and I look pretty in pink. He hugs me too and rubs the middle of my back. He has never been this touchy with me but has always talked to me. He is older than me like 40 and I'm 22. He is a knock out too with his baby blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair. He has even said to me when I was refiling the pxyis hows my cute pharmacy tech and he looked away right after he said that. He also has whispered in my ear your so cute and he was so close that I could smell his after shave. will this affect my job him being so touchy with me at work while other co-workers are seeing this. Why would he be instered in me with the age gap being so far apart? What dose he want with me? Thanks

Specializes in med/surg/tele/neuro/rehab/corrections.

Rapidly dump this relationship and do not smile or giggle when you talk to him. (Sometimes young people tend to do that when they talk and then the other person doesn't take them seriously) So take it seriously and act like it. Use defensive body language by crossing your arms too. He won't want to hug you then unless he just wants to run all over you. Get your messages straight by first talking them out in your head. And don't apologize. You have nothing to say sorry for.

Geez I can't believe that you didn't post right away that he was a married man still living with his wife! :uhoh21: If he's 40 she might be too and then watch out! A 40 year old woman is not going to take any cr@p and will come to your workplace to call you out. Talk about a sticky situation then!

Take everyone's advice here and run, don't walk, from this relationship.

All strength to you to do what's right for you.

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How many life-long, happily married couples have met AT WORK??

Anybody in LTC??.........I know you folks hear about some of this stuff, as do others in this profession.

People are people..........Doesn't matter to me where I meet 'em......They're still people.

EDIT to add: I'm not trying to attack the previous poster, just to add a different (my) view point.

Hey, no worries. I never meant to imply that it doesn't work out sometimes. However, I have also seen countless times...

... said couple's every move gets reported via the grapevine. Any problem, arguement, or issue gets inflammed by those in the "peanut gallery". It's unbelieveable how many bystanders relish reporting and speculating on "real" soap operas at the office...

Obviously, professional matters need to be handled accordingly. Adults need to act like ADULTS...........And PROFESSIONALISM ALWAYS COMES FIRST AT WORK.

... for every success there are scores of failures. Then, each person's personal reputation is now in the hands of someone who may wish to smear the other's reputation (you know... "bad breakups"?). Even if you're the "good guy", it's ridiculously easy to end up being tarred and feathered by false accusation and partial truths not only by the person you were with, but by every friend that person has at work. While you might be acting professional, odds are there will be many inside and outside the relationship that aren't. ..

... Either one of the participants have any level of supervisory responsibility? Sexual harassment charges can be brought against someone by other individuals OUTSIDE the relationship. If someone is participating in an affair at the office and other's become aware of it (and they do with incredible efficiency), that can be cited as creating a "hostile environment" by a person registering a complaint. I've seen a corp. VP AND the woman he was having an affair with get the boot for just such a situation...

So, while the advice to the 22yo might include the "if it works out, it was worth it" scenarios, it also has to identify the associated risks. There's a bunch of those and they're not all trivial or without possible significant impact. Ya, it's possible for a 40yo to make a real commitment to a 22yo in a work environment. It's also possible that the 40yo is just looking to dominate an inexperienced person for a thrill. Ya pays yer money - ya takes yer chances.

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ok, so the question is do you want to go out with him, start a relationship or "anything else"\? If so then you can invite him out, or suggest getting together outside of work. Having said that, the PDA MUST STOP! It is inappropriate for the workplace and will lead to a loss of respect for you and your position. If he doesn't stop after you have asked hime to then a sexual harrasment claim must be filled out to Human resources/and your boss/his boss. Even if you aren in a relationship with someone at work, there shouldn't be any unprofessional behavior. Good luck... oh and I think most of us know what a 40 yr old man wants with a 22 yr old lady. if you think pretty hard on it you will know too. :imbar

You're goofy, dear. Just make up your mind that he just wants to have sex with you. Then decide whether or not you want to. Then you will know what to do.

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Hey, no worries. I never meant to imply that it doesn't work out sometimes. However, I have also seen countless times...

... said couple's every move gets reported via the grapevine. Any problem, arguement, or issue gets inflammed by those in the "peanut gallery". It's unbelieveable how many bystanders relish reporting and speculating on "real" soap operas at the office...

... for every success there are scores of failures. Then, each person's personal reputation is now in the hands of someone who may wish to smear the other's reputation (you know... "bad breakups"?). Even if you're the "good guy", it's ridiculously easy to end up being tarred and feathered by false accusation and partial truths not only by the person you were with, but by every friend that person has at work. While you might be acting professional, odds are there will be many inside and outside the relationship that aren't. ..

... Either one of the participants have any level of supervisory responsibility? Sexual harassment charges can be brought against someone by other individuals OUTSIDE the relationship. If someone is participating in an affair at the office and other's become aware of it (and they do with incredible efficiency), that can be cited as creating a "hostile environment" by a person registering a complaint. I've seen a corp. VP AND the woman he was having an affair with get the boot for just such a situation...

So, while the advice to the 22yo might include the "if it works out, it was worth it" scenarios, it also has to identify the associated risks. There's a bunch of those and they're not all trivial or without possible significant impact. Ya, it's possible for a 40yo to make a real commitment to a 22yo in a work environment. It's also possible that the 40yo is just looking to dominate an inexperienced person for a thrill. Ya pays yer money - ya takes yer chances.

I will take your advice and I did see him this afternoon when I went into work. I told I just want to be friends and if you touch me again I will file a sexual harassment charge against you. He just mumbled something and now he won't talk to me. Thats fine with me and I think he will come around. I learned that he dated almost everyone in the hospital and he has a steady mistress who he has been seeing for 5 years while he cheats on her with all these other nurses. She puts up with it and knows too. I'm so glad that I got out of this before anything started and got deep. Thankyou for the advice.

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Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

The OP has received excellent advice regarding this issue. It is time for this thread to be closed.....

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