Published Aug 8, 2008
Qka
111 Posts
Hello everybody!
I am a nursing student yet. But as soon as I graduate I plan to adopt children (probably twins). I mean, I will graduate, start working as an RN and begin an adoption process. It takes a while. My husband and me dream about it!
I am starting this thread to ask your advice about this matter. We do not have any relatives or grandparents to help us during the first year, so I think we will look for a nanny or daycare. Probably, nanny i s cheaper with the two children.
I will use my maternity leaf for the first 12 weeks, and then plan to go back to work. Here I need your advice and help. Is it possible to work part time as a nurse? Or to take just weekend shifts?
I think I am not alone in this. Mothers-nurses, how do you do it? How do you manage to be a mother and a nurse?
All recommendations are welcome!
StrwbryblndRN
658 Posts
I love to work and I love my children. I just find a way to do it. I work overnight weekends and my hubby works weekdays. I also do not let small things get to me. If I do not get my kids dressed till noon or not dressed at all, then oh well. (This is the days I stay at home of coorifice such as today:)) I find when I do not stress about it, it will come to me how to do it.
I live by my own standards but also sacrifice much to have what I have.
I miss birthday parties and holiday parties unless I schedule off. I do not worry about working holidays because I know I enjoy my family/friends any time I see them. I do not need special days to that. Everyone understands and respects what I do.
If you think you can then you will. It is just a matter of figuring it out.
Good luck.
Thanks for your respond! Do I understand you right that you work only 2 days a week (Sat, and Sun)? How many hours do you work weekly?
clhRN2b2010
265 Posts
I have looked at this question. It sounds like you will find lots of flexiblity-eventually. You LIKELY will have to put your time in before you get to cherry pick your shifts though.
I have a friend who does work only weekend night shift- 2- 12hr shifts- and they count her as full time. She has had that schedule for a couple years and loves it. She misses some things on the weekends, of course, but she is able to be at home with her children during the week and that was her priority. I feel a little differently and think I would rather find child care for them 2/3 days a week than miss every weekend...to each their own.
Good luck!
tinybabynurse
96 Posts
I have a friend who graduated a year ago and is about to have her 1st child in a couple of weeks...she works 2 12-hr shifts per week, is considered full time and gets benefits. She doesn't have to work only weekends to do this either.
There are so many flexible options for nurses...one of the reasons I am getting my rn!
labcat01, BSN, RN
629 Posts
It is true that there CAN be a lot of flexibility as an RN- but that is not usually true for new grads. Most new grads are expected to work full time (at least for awhile) and then you can drop down to full time after a year or so (it also depends on if you take an internship).
If you begin the adoption process after you graduate, you will probably have earned a better position once the adoption goes through. Good luck with your endeavor- I hope it goes smoothly for you and your husband.
redhairboy
18 Posts
I am a working mother. I work overnights. I usually work no more than 2 in a row. I work either 11-7 or 7-7. I am in home care so It varies every month. My husband doesn't work until 10 am so I come home and sleep and also nap with my child does and sleep a little before work. I try not to work more than 3-4 days a week. It is tough but you do what you have to do when your a mom. Good Luck.
ilstu99
320 Posts
There are really a large variety of options - part-time, varied shifts, PRN, etc. Yes, you will most likely have to put in some time, but working weekend/nights is usually pretty open. :)
Something else to consider - cultivating friendships with other parents. Your scheduling flexibility could be ideal for a co-op amongst friends/neighbors. Say...you watch someone's child(ren) one day per week (until your spouse leaves work), and they watch yours one day per week. Then you work one day your spouse is off work. It doesn't cost you anything, and you still get to spend the bulk of your time with your family.
That's worked well for us for years.
melissa00
2 Posts
I am an RN and I have 3 small children all under the age of 5. You definitely have to sacrifice as a mother. I work weekend option 2 12hr night shifts a week and my husband works during the week. If something is going on the weekends I get up early so I can attend those important events. I do that so I can be a stay at home mom and have a career. Do remember one thing. make sure it is worth it to have someone else watch your children. Make sure you are not working just to pay for daycare because you could just stay home and watch them yourself. This is why my husband and work opposite shifts (otherwise known as tagteam parenting). Especially being a new grad you might not have as many options as someone who has been a nurse for awhile (per-deim or weekend option)
Hope this helps.:)
kenny b
161 Posts
What you're proposing sounds very challenging. Most people do it out of necessity rather than desire.
Please always remember to do two things.
A) Put your relationship with your husband first because it is the best thing for the children and for you (see anything by John Rosemond).
B) Monitor your hour to hour happiness and don't be afraid to make drastic changes to your plan if you find yourself miserable while working to convince yourself that you're happy.
Best of luck to you.
Rgds,
Kenny B.
Thank you, everybody! I am reading your opinions and trying to plan for future!
RNKPCE
1,170 Posts
I'd advise working at least one year if not 2 at 4/5th status or more. As a new grad the experience you gain that first year is invaluable. If you have kids after 1-2 years then cut back you will have that experience already behind to call on.
I worked 4/5th before kids days , 3/5 after child number 1, half time after child number 2, 2/5 when the kids started having more homework and activities after school, then 4 years ago went per diem, my oldest was entering HS and we were financially able to make that change and deal with any cancellations I might get. By the way I have always worked 3-11 since I have had kids. I was fortunate that my Mother in law watched the kids 1-2 afternoons a week from 2-4:30 until my husband got home. My working that shift gave my husband a lot of hands on parenting by himself. It was great to have such a capable partner in raising our kids. Also even though you might need day care working swing they wouldn't have to be there very long.