Retirement, "Easy Bet Me!"

Lindsey McGraw

Reflecting back on younger days a young nurse, fresh, newly graduated LPN hoping deep down to be lucky enough to land a nursing position where the old nurse did not "eat their own." An expression that was not denied or confirmed before my realization it was possibly true - no longer was it amusing.

Hospitals hired new grads back in 1976, but it was for the dreaded night shifts on units that were hard to fill positions and les than nil for getting the specialty desired within the limitations of an LPN. Offered a position at the Long Term nursing center on 3-11 shift was a better opportunity but leaving very little in the way of a great learning experience. Way before the time frame of skilled care with rehab it seems looking back like a warehouse for old folks. Posey vests, (restraints), high top chairs resembling baby high chairs, Decubitus care ex: heat lamps, Betadine/sugar, egg whites - that would make one shake your head today and diabetic symptom intervention done by the chart on the wall for both hyper/hypoglycemia, with the number of symptoms a resident presented. Over half of the listings were on both sides of the chart so divine intervention played a great part in the welfare of residents as well. This was years before accuracy of Glucometers used today. It was not uncommon to have a resident census of 30 on a unit with one nurse.

Wages were ridiculous for an LPN or RN back in this time frame in a small town working for $3.10 and progressing to $4.60 when changing over to a hospital with my IV certification.

Life goes on married to a service man we moved every few years with new nursing jobs and opportunities to expand my career. Most memorable was my psych position during the time frame President Reagan in his infinite wisdom opened up all the psych facilities so that "if you were not harmful to yourself or others" were allowed to leave. Some had been institutionalized for years. A minor factor in the homeless situation we have today.

Sometimes life is not fair with giving us health challenges a Breast Cancer diagnosis right after graduating from RN school and getting my degree in Applied Science. I had been offered a surgical scrub position at a hospital in a program for new grads with six weeks of training. One week before I was to start a 2 second phone call shattered my life's dream. Dreaded words Breast Cancer - changed my whole perspective on life with a new goal to beat this monster growing in my body and survive. Fortunately I am blessed to still be alive 24 years later.

Remaining in Long Term Care management for the next 24 years due to my ® sided weakness and mild disability this was my best option. Watching the changes through the years and being a part of improving the conditions, lives and overall quality of nursing care in nursing/rehab facilities was most rewarding. Days when quality nursing care mattered, state surveys were not a tug of war between inspectors and political in nature. One took pride in telling someone where they were a Director of Nursing and your waiting lists for someone's loved one was a page long. Volunteers were abundant and all holidays spectacular with more goodies for the staff than could be eaten in months.

Times change as theories on paper from people in offices who are clueless to resident needs, big corporations with profit oriented facilities, staff cuts, rationing supplies and District Managers who could care less about the residents welfare receiving big bonuses for cost saving measures. This did not change our feelings of compassion, cherishing and loving our residents in our care for years almost like our own Grandma and Grandpa. After fighting the battle for an additional seven years I could no longer continue. Personal health issues of uncontrolled hypertension made retirement or a reduced work schedule apparent that this was my answer. Often I would say "I could drop dead in this facility and my position would be filled within hours after the ambulance took me away."

Now the hardest thing for me was to come to grips after 40 years of nursing "What will I do with my life?' An identity that, unless lived, is hard to understand when it is no longer an option to get up go to work, give from your heart, meet challenges and make someone's day a little better. Miss those smiles, hugs, kind words and sometimes bad things Dementia will bring out in a resident. So...young nurse cherish your job, good bad or indifferent because someday you could be this "lost old nurse" who feels like a piece of her heart is missing.

Friends say "volunteer" this is easier said than done when one has a deep love of animals and should not go to a shelter, without an adult companion, because she is unable to walk out not adopting something or in tears. Next I would be known as the crazy cat/dog lady with 37 pets. My husband calls me "Mrs. Noah" because if we had more than a 5 acre ranch I would have at least two of everything. Presently we have a horse, colt, four cats and a dog. My plan is maybe to bring in two goats naming the "Howdy and Dooty"(aged myself a little with this one if anyone remembers that show) as they are calming to horses. Absolutely no cows because they would be named Fossil and die of old age. Guess I have to be content with the Quail, bunnies and deer that are on the property.

Now, though I have been told by a friend that "Getting old ain't for wimps," I have a nice ranch, a good marriage, a great support network and for the most part, my health. So, all in all, I am guessing that maybe with time this retirement gig won't be so bad after all.

Retirement, "Easy Bet Me!"

About Lindsey McGraw

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