Relationships between spouses

Trauma Columnist · Sep 13, 2004

I would report it to whatever agency is available to you. If it is not physical abuse - I would consult with your DON on what the proper procedure is. If, however, it was physical abuse and witnessed by you or another employee, I would call the police. Good luck...it sounds like a very difficult situation.

altomga, ADN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, APRN · Sep 13, 2004

If you see an argument or fight between husband and wife either physical or emotional abuse...what are you responsible to do..Spouse has taken care of this resident for many years at home. Resident has dementia. These incidents have happened before and have been witnesses by visitors and staff. I know what my answer is.. :angryfire ..wish I could vent more...but privacy laws

To me this abuse needs to be turned into the officials. I know that on our PAR forms in the hospital we have a questioned simply about abuse/neglect. If the answer is yes a social work consult is generated or we can call the police to file a report.

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Sep 13, 2004

Resident has dementia. These incidents have happened before and have been witnesses by visitors and staff. I know what my answer is.. :angryfire ..wish I could vent more...but privacy laws

Call your local protective agency.

"Resident has dementia" equals "resident is vulnerable." In most communities, this is assault, it is criminal behavior and it must be reported!

Forget privacy laws, except where they will protect you. Abusers like this will go after you as quick as you can dial up the appropriate agency.

If you have trouble finding the appropriate agency, please email or PM me, and I will help you.

You can save this resident. But you must act. Someone has to.

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Sep 13, 2004

http://www.elderabusecenter.org/default.cfm?p=wheretoreportabuse.cfm

lupin · Sep 14, 2004

Contact your state dept. of human services. Document every episode of abuse and use specifics. Have others who have seen this document also. Have the PCP to come in and do a physical on the resident to see if there is any physical evidence of abuse.

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Sep 14, 2004

There are no physical signs of abuse..and this wasn't done malicously (sp) probably out of frustration. From what I'm to understand the dept of aging has been notified before and is aware of the relationship. Both are well into theri 80's and it seems that he is frustrated and not dealing well with it. As far as privacy..I just din't want to say to much. I'm not afraid of this man or reporting this or any other situation. I dont' think the police are needed in this situation. Just wondering if and what other LTCs do in this situation.

Baby Catcher · Sep 14, 2004

Sounds like he may need respite care. A chance to either get out without her or just be home but not responsible for her for a few hours. Is there a program or family member that could set up some regular time each week? I've seen this do wonders for peoples mental health just to get a break.

There are no physical signs of abuse..and this wasn't done malicously (sp) probably out of frustration.

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Sep 14, 2004

This is LTC..she is the resident, he is not. What I try to do if I see a family member get frustrated or upset is send them home or at least out for lunch or coffee or smoke. and give them my shpeal about needing their rest too.

Nursenan0 · Sep 15, 2004

We had a similar incident at our facility. Actually ended up with the spouse being banned from the facility unless he was accompanied by a family member to visit his wife. Was an ugly situation but turned out well. The man eventually got the medical attention he needed also. Our social workers took care of the situation as it was brought to their attention.

Nursenan

donmomofnine · Sep 15, 2004

We had a similar situation in our facility and it took much, much intervention from social services and nursing staff. Weekly meetings with the spouse, social worker and different members of nursing staff. We came up with plan of care for acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and held the man accountable. It was hard, grueling at times, but well worth it. He never "came around" in his thinking, but his behaviors changed. He had no choice. The MD was also involved.

Catsrule16, RN · Sep 19, 2004

Sounds like this spouse needs to be involved in a dementia support group. Adult protective services should be contacted as well. Be the advocate for the resident. Try contacting your local Ombudsman for suggestions. If you don't protect the resident, then your facility is not in compliance with the federal regulations. DOCUMENT everything you see and do. Educate him/her on the disease process and what is expected to happen. If you have to supervise his visits, then so be it. The facility can be held responsible for not protecting the resident. Good Luck!