The thread in the nursing student forum about people who are always late got me thinking.
I am chronically early for everything. If I'm not 10 minutes early for an appointment, work, whatever, then I start to get anxiety. So I have a hard time relating to those who are temporally challenged. And I know that there are people who are ALWAYS late. I work with half a dozen providers, and one or two are like me (always there 15 minutes before start time), a couple get there right at start time, and there are 2 or 3 who are ALWAYS 10-20 minutes late for their first appointment of the session (and it drives me farking nuts, because the chronic late ones are my favorite providers and they ask me to go to lunch with them, and if I accept, then *I* will be late for my first appointment of the afternoon session, which is exactly what happened yesterday).
I know that sometimes it's just poor (or lack of) planning. But I've come to suspect that for some people, it's just part of their innate character, and that's what I want to try to understand better, so that I can better work with these people (and not show my intense annoyance). I really do think that sometimes, it's just beyond their control.
So for those of you who are temporally challenged, or love someone who is, help me understand what happens in their brains that make them this way, so I can be a more understanding coworker/supervisor.
So for those of you who are temporally challenged, or love someone who is, help me understand what happens in their brains that make them this way, so I can be a more understanding coworker/supervisor.
i can't speak for anyone else of course, but for me it's ADHD.
If some people have no sense of time or how long it takes to do something, how are they able to overcome this well enough to do nursing, which in my experience requires one to have excellent time management skills?
Personally, long before I was in nursing, I was shamed by neuronormals to the point that I have clocks in every room in my house, I aim to be everywhere at least 20 minutes early, and I check the clock every few minutes. When I estimate completion time, I have learned to double it and add ten minutes. I also set multiple alarms.
On the floor, it isn't that big of a deal as I am always on the go. It is more of a problem for me not to do things too early (such as hang abx). Again, I am constantly checking the clocks and I refresh my home screen every 10 minutes or so to make sure nothing is "pinked" (which is how my current computer system shows late tasks or medications).
This is just what I do, I'm sure others have different ways of coping.
There's a wonderful article written a few months back called "I'm not lazy, crazy, or stupid" that talks about ADD and how nurses deal with it. I highly recommend the thread for those who cannot imagine why people might be late often. I tried to link to the article but I'm using the app and couldn't. Just search for the title and you'll find it. It's a very interesting read. You'll gain a lot of insight into your colleagues with this issue.
Disclaimer: I'm not saying every chronically late nurse has ADD/ADHD. Some people are just irresponsible.
No matter if there is an underlying issue (ADD, asperger's, ect) if someone is late on a regular basis, they need to make accommodations to themselves out of respect for others.
No matter if there is an underlying issue (ADD, asperger's, ect) if someone is late on a regular basis, they need to make accommodations to themselves out of respect for others.
Sigh. The OP wants to know WHY people are chronically late. There have been plenty of posts already castigating the perpetrators. We all know that being late is hard on other people.
Sigh. The OP wants to know WHY people are chronically late. There have been plenty of posts already castigating the perpetrators. We all know that being late is hard on other people.
The core reason may be different for everyone. But the common factor is the lack of respect for other people's time. A mindset of "my [time/issue/problems] are more important than anyone else's. Even though this has been pointed out to me, I see no need to modify my behavior."
The core reason may be different for everyone. But the common factor is the lack of respect for other people's time. A mindset of "my [time/issue/problems] are more important than anyone else's. Even though this has been pointed out to me, I see no need to modify my behavior."
This is not necessarily true. Some of the nicest, most caring people I know, who definitely respect other people, are frequently late. Even with interventions such as alarms, reminders from friends/family. These folks are just not capable of following time in a linear fashion. Luckily, most of them are in other professions where punctuality is not as critical. It has affected their lives tremendously, though, and many have expressed to me the wish that they could change.
This is not necessarily true. Some of the nicest, most caring people I know, who definitely respect other people, are frequently late. Even with interventions such as alarms, reminders from friends/family. These folks are just not capable of following time in a linear fashion. Luckily, most of them are in other professions where punctuality is not as critical. It has affected their lives tremendously, though, and many have expressed to me the wish that they could change.
That is why I changed my wording to "respecting others" to "respecting other people's time".
Though many (not saying it applies to all) of the chronically late people that I know show have other behaviors that passive aggressively require that others accommodate them. Such as not returning calls/texts in a timely manner, requiring that the other person contact them more than once or not returning borrowed items promptly, again requiring that someone else go out of their way.
The core reason may be different for everyone. But the common factor is the lack of respect for other people's time. A mindset of "my [time/issue/problems] are more important than anyone else's. Even though this has been pointed out to me, I see no need to modify my behavior."
No. You're still not getting the core issue. It has nothing to do with selfishness for a person with ADD/ADHD. Nothing. If you go and read about what many of us go through on a daily basis, you might begin to have some compassion and understanding. I again suggest the thread mentioned a few posts up.
Sent from my iPhone -- blame all errors on spellcheck
That is why I changed my wording to "respecting others" to "respecting other people's time".
Though many (not saying it applies to all) of the chronically late people that I know show have other behaviors that passive aggressively require that others accommodate them. Such as not returning calls/texts in a timely manner, requiring that the other person contact them more than once or not returning borrowed items promptly, again requiring that someone else go out of their way.
Oh, I agree that some people are passive aggressive jerks. I have run into far fewer of these than the people who can't help it, though. Some of the behaviors you have described are also symptoms that present-oriented people have. Simply put, if they don't respond to you right away, you are no longer in their world and they may not respond at all. It isn't necessarily malicious, it's the way their brains work.
Specializes in Emergency, Correctional, Indigent Health.
I am terribly sorry if my tardiness offends you. I am 70 years old and I have been late for my birth (really Mom took three trips to the hospital before i finally got out.), late for my wedding (really), and hopefully I will be late for my funeral. I used that as a joke to try to fend off the .38 caliber eyes that greeted me as I flew through the door "extremely ready" for my next shift. I was never disciplined in my formative years for arriving in a timely manner. I was brought up by my single mom as my dad died when I was 5 years old. She was always late for everything. We even tried setting the clock ahead 20 minutes just to stimulate getting out on time. I was in the military and was always the last one out of the barracks to get to a formation. What is it in me that makes me that way. I am not sure. It isn't a disrespect, or a slovenly attitude toward who and where I am going too.
I will mention that I can say with some authority that part of those feelings are in your personality as well. I mean people can be trained to be punctual, and I would have now appreciated that kind of early training, but it didn't happen, and I have to live my life to the best of my ability. I have four adult children who have become professionals in their own right, and are still frustrated with me, and my tardiness. My wife was a very prim and proper young lady when I dated and married her some 48 years ago. Although she had also become a highly respected professional in her field of endeavor. She has relaxed dramatically over the years, and has become much less judgmental and more understanding.
Time is a relative thing, and your intense attention to it, and response to it is exactly that, YOUR problem. Where would we be as a society if we all endeavored to follow your example?
Now I will admit you are right. Things are scheduled, and a very important part of organization and function is a punctual start time. Imagine if your food store, drug store, or even your bank kept you waiting while they didn't open on time. Anyone, including myself, would become irritated with this kind of delay, especially if there were other things on our agenda that were planned and timed according to the opening of these facilities. I am aware of whole societies that are not driven by the clock as much as our puritanical roots have made our society run by the clock as much as it is. We may look down on these societies to the south, but I often wonder if they are not as anxious as we are when it comes to time, and is that a bad thing? Festivity is very much a part of their daily environment.
I have also been accused of using my tardiness as a passive aggressive way of dealing with the world. I would never deny that, but to be frank, it is not an obvious, well thought out approach to the world. It is frustrating to be racing across town to be somewhere only to be late and delayed in traffic. Had I planned better I might not be in that particular situation, but being early is a bit of irritant for me as well.
I am an ENFP on the MBTI scale (16personalities.com). That makes me an Extroverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive. I rely on feelings and perception highly in my relationship to the world in general. That makes me a great nurse at times, and supervisors who are more intense and Thinking, Judgmental "members" of the MBTI seem to be so much more involved with time and punctuality. One such supervisor wrote me up in one of my annual assessments as being unreliable. I confronted her and reminded her that for almost 20 years I had never missed a shift in a busy ER regardless of the posting of the scheduled shift. So many other nurses called in repeatedly for "mental Health" days. I had never done so. But I was consistently 5 or 10 minutes late. No one had ever left late because I was a few minutes late. She rescinded that assessment and simply put I was consistently tardy.
She eventually admitted she was a Turner's Syndrome baby. A single X female. Some brief research showed that most Turner's syndrome females are of diminished mental capacity. Seems if they get their single x from their Mom they are of seriously low intelligence. Whereas if their X Chromosome comes from their father they are of normal intelligence. However, they inherently lack empathy. She was obviously cast from that mold. So I attributed her initial assessment from her situation which was not her fault.
Try to assume some sympathy, and realize we cannot all be as punctual as you are, yet we do serve and function remarkably well as a nurse in most situations. Thank You for your consideration, and I don't hold your intense annoyance against you as you do find that the ones consistently late make up a core of your favorite providers. Diversity has a way of developing your best teams. No one has all the fruit in their bowl.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Part of our problem in America today is our wish to diagnose or label everything and it starts in kindergarten.I am sure this tardiness thing happens with people with ADD/ADHD but I am NOT convinced that accounts for all of the folks I know who are like this...I have not observed other characteristics except chronic lateness and to me this does not equal ADD/ADHD ...not a believer,not yet.As for the people who think it should not be normal to stress keeping to a schedule maybe they should retire and go pick coconuts on a beach.Even in the south appointments are made and kept....Buses,trains and planes have schedules down there,too.....
RobotNurse
89 Posts
i can't speak for anyone else of course, but for me it's ADHD.