Recovering opiate addict: In need of advice

Nurses Recovery

Published

Hello all,I'm so glad I fought this forum. I've replied to several posts but thought it was time I told my story.Shewwww here goes: I have been a nurse since 2006. Worked in ICU & ER for a couple years from there moved on to my dream job. I work there for about a yr & in the last few months started diverting Percocet. I couldn't believe what I was doing at times it felt like I was having an out of body experience, I was sick, both physically & mentally. Im scared now that I'll never be given a second chance to prove I'm no longer that "sick" person. Recovery has been a long lonely road & at times I've tried giving up but I know now God has other plans for me. I always wanted to be a nurse, I was good at what I did but now bc of my addiction I may never be given another chance. I can look back now & be thankful for the road I have traveled bc it's made me the person I am today, which is a strong, health woman. I just wish there were more ppl out there that understood that addiction is a disease & not everybody that suffers from this illness is not a dead beat, loser that doesn't want & need help. Well this has been my story in a nut shell. I hope I can help others out there that have walked in my worn out shoes.

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
Maybe she felt like this was a closed AA meeting. Thanks for clarifying that this site is for everyone to participate in.

While this subforum's topic is primarily for nurses in or affected by recovery, it is open to any AN member to view and participate in. Just like females can view and post in the Men in Nursing forums.

We ask that TOS be followed and that those posting in here are respectful and show the same courtesy to others that they'd show them anywhere else at the forum. They don't always have to agree with what is being posted--I know that addictions and recovery are often polarizing topics--but there should always be respect on both sides.

Not saying anyone has done this here...but since we're clarifying what the subforum is for, I thought I should reiterate it.

Any questions can be directed to the Admin Help Desk.

Thank you.

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Congratulations, GA_RN, on successfully fighting back against your urges. You must stop focusing on the negative for the moment and take a breath - realize all that you have accomplished. Many, many people don't have the amazing strength you have shown to fight an opiate addiction. They eventually succumb to their addiction and stay that way for the rest of their days. You, however, did not. You decided that you wanted your life back and you stood up and did just that. And now, here you are posting your story for others to see. It's not easy, and I'm sure I speak for all of us on allnurses when I say that we are genuinely proud of you. We all make mistakes, and just because some are easier to recover from than others doesn't mean they are "more" or "less" or a mistake - you made a mistake, nothing more...and you've learned from it.

As for nursing, it may be harder to secure a job, especially if you were fired for this. However, if you successfully complete a recovery program and can show that you are clean, an employer may be willing to give you a second chance. Explain yourself - that you made a mistake, and how you've learned from it. Good luck to you.

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Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

Congrats GA_RN, I have enjoyed all the stories on recovery. I too never thought I would be here:). Life has a funny way of humbling. I am so proud of everyone's clean time!! This disease is a monster. By the way that it is the cutest baby on your Avatar!!! I just stare at it smiling:)

P.S. @Prich, thanks for sharing your story with us in more detail! I'm so glad your father was able to get free of the mess for you and his family. It reminds us why we are sober! I am so sorry for your losses, and I know how that feels at the Holidays. Thanks again for opening up, those memories can be like a knife! I hope they are still healing:)

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I think most people first try opiates when they have surgery or develop a severe pain issue. I doubt that anyone just goes out and says, I think I'll try me some drugs today. It's very subtle. I don't know this for a fact, but I have spoken to a lot of people who have addiction issues, as well as those who don't. I have a theory about the brain chemistry being different in addicts. It seems that folks are more apt to become addicted when the opiate affects them as a stimulant. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think that this is somehow related. The people who sleep after opiates appear to have a much lower rate of addiction.

I just wanted to say that anyone who takes narcotics over an extended period of time will become addicted. This is not a discriminating thing. Anyone, even those of you that are saying no. If you are in pain, you will take meds, and by the nature of the meds, you will become addicted. There is nothing shameful about it.

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I guess I should clarify. I understand it's open to everyone. But, for me at least, it's hard to truly believe that prich means well when I know his true opinion. Anyway, GA, congrats on fighting the urges. I think that's half the battle. When you can get to a point where you can fight the urge rather than give in, you are in a great position for long term recovery.

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Again thank you all for the comments. Sharon, you are absolutely right when it comes to my case. I hurt my shoulder lifting a pt & the medication made me feel like I could conquer the world. I also agree with you in regards to what it does to your brain chemistry. There's a genetic marker linked to those who suffer from alcoholism so why would'nt there be for ppl who suffer with other addictions. I'm not making excuses for the choices we make in life by any means. But ppl who judge us need to understand that they could of been in our shoes given certain circumstances. I was once one of those that judged others who suffered with addiction & mental disorders. I now know there struggles.

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GA_RN

I've never taken drugs either but I've always believed that "but for the grace of God go I" I have worked with nurses who have been suspended for diverting drugs. They were able to go into treatment and remain sober. They were able to get back into nursing. I do know that they have to have random drug tests several times a year for several years and on the second strike they are out. Don't give up on your dream of being a nurse. Apply, be honest, be willing to have random drug screens. I think you'll be appreciated for your honesty. I would if I were the hiring manager. Best of luck.

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Specializes in Trauma.

The first question the OP needs to ask is, will going back into nursing hinder recovery? I say this because nobody would encourage an alcoholic bartender to go back tending bar when they get sober. Isn't someone that is a recovering addict always an addict? Isn't it always best for an addict to stay away from temptations as much as possible, especially the first several years?

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I do not feel that bc I'm a recovery opiate addict it will hinder me from being a good nurse. I understand that some may see us as oh they did it once they'll just do it again. That's not the case what so ever. Everyone deserves a second chance. Have you never done something in your life that you regret? As far as your comment about alcoholic being a bartender, this is not simply the case. Just bc some of us made a bad decision shouldn't hinder us from moving forward. We have an illness just as some suffer from diabetes, heart disease, etc. would you give these ppl tbe same stipulations. I would think not. As far as my case I've been clean & sober for 2yrs. And in the future I would want someone such as myself caring for my family or others bc I don't see myself as the perfect nurse. We all have our demons no one is perfect.

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The first question the OP needs to ask is, will going back into nursing hinder recovery? I say this because nobody would encourage an alcoholic bartender to go back tending bar when they get sober. Isn't someone that is a recovering addict always an addict? Isn't it always best for an addict to stay away from temptations as much as possible, especially the first several years?

You do not understand the pattern of addiction. The OP should be respected for staying clean and wanting to move on with her life. I applaud her.

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Ty Jersey for your applauds. As far as HM is concerned he or she is a nursing student so it's easy to judge someone before they've worked in our stressful field.

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Specializes in Trauma.

Actually I do understand the pattern of addiction. Once an addict always an addict. The only difference is one is recovering. The recovery NEVER ends.

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