Ready to give up my nursing dream............hard times

MammaNurse2Be · Jan 17, 2011

I have been working towards my dream for a long time as well. I didn't get in last year and am applying again this year. I was between 200 and 450 on our wait list. I was telling myself the same thing. Saying maybe it wasn't the time for me etc. I went to the pediatrician's office with my kids and I talked to the nurse practitioner that I have become friends with and she told me her long drawn out history in trying to be a nurse. AA to BSN and then to Masters. It took her a long time to get where she is at but she is so happy to pushed through and did it. She has four kids and worked so dealt with the daily grind of trying to get it all done. She gave me a good pep talk and said at least try. You always have the option of pulling out if you find it is too much for you. Maybe the change of daily scenery is what you need to help you in your present situation. Only you know if you can handle things but don't give up on dream because of a few roadblocks. I am mom to three kids and a wife that likes to do it all. I know that isn't possible but I can pretty much talk myself out of doing something that I might be afraid of because I can tell myself I have just too much to do. When really I know if I will lighten up on myself I may be able to give it a shot. So, at this point I am giving it a shot again. I am submitting my application and will deal with the next step when it comes up. Good luck and don't give up on a DREAM!

jewelspassion · Jan 17, 2011

Thank You! I use to consider myself so strong, i've lost myself somewhere along the way. I guess i have to be the one to give myself pep talks. you are right about the scenery, i have to change things in my life right now. It's just hard and it seems impossible at times. that's really a good way to look at it, good perspective that about giving it a try and if not then there is always that option to pull out. I guess part of me is a little afraid to do it.

It's nice to know that there's other Moms out there with the same struggles, thanks for the encouragement, it helped!!

myty23 · Jan 17, 2011

Jewels, I have been working toward/dreaming about becoming a nurse since I graduated highschool 10 years ago. I got married really young though, have two kids, depend on 2 incomes to pay the bills etc. No time was the right time for me to give up my 9-5 job and go to school and the time wouldn't have ever been right had I waited. I got student loans and husband got a 2nd job and we decided to take the risk and jump ship not really knowing if we were making the right decision or if it would work out. I am graduating this May from the nursing program. Taking the risk was the best thing I ever did. Things have worked out and I couldn't be happier to be fullfilling my dream.

But on to your situation, I understand things in your life might be tough right now with having marriage troubles. I can say that nursing school can be tough on a marriage if you don't have a supportive spouse that will understand how much time and effort you will need to put into studying, etc. However, I don't think this should keep you from following your dreams and goals in life. If you don't go to school because of your marriage troubles, what if your marriage ends anyways? Then you are left with no education and no marriage. I think you should look out for you and your childrens future and go for it. You only have one life to live. If you wait for the right time, you will never do it, because no time is the "right" time. I really hope things work out for you and hope you and your husband solve your troubles. Good luck on whatever you decide!

allie1230 · Jan 17, 2011

Jewels,

I understand how overwhelmed you must feel. I am a mother of 5 wonderful kids and 2 delightful step-children. My husband goes to school and works full time while I attend school. I will be starting the nursing program tomorrow (first day)! I am so excited! I wanted to take a second to respond to your post.

I have faced my giants, and I am sure lots of people have done the same. I have been divorced for 12 years and remarried for 7 (and still going strong). My first husband and I have a very broken relationship and his wife and I do not blend well. Further, he sued for custody (a battle which began over a year ago). I have been sweating the outcome financially and emotionally. We settled our case this past week, which clears the road for school uninterrupted (or so I pray). Up until that point, I was going mad with worry and anxiety thinking that my anticipated 4 day trial would greatly interefere with school. :uhoh3: I am thankful we had mediation and it got worked out (thousands of dollars and sleepless nights later). Further, I have been battling some minor female health issues and will likely need a hysterectomy this year (trying to put it off until December). Prior to my little son being born, we lost a baby to anencephaly, which was devastating. My children range in age from 19 months to 16 years old. They attend 4 different schools. We financially struggle to say the least. The process of going through litigation for a little over a year and the financial hardships caused my marriage some grief, too. However, we are together and dedicated to one another. I love him, trust him, and know he does the same for me. I knew it would either "make us or break us," and I am so thankful it made us. :redbeathe Through it all, I have kept a 4.0 (and yes, I know it is said a lot, but it is the honest truth).

My husband has an amazing ex-wife who had two children, no husband, but a very supportive family. She made it through nursing school a few years ago. She inspired me to push through as well... and I am very proud of her acocmplishment. :yeah:I am very lucky to have such a good relationship with her.

All this said (and greatly condensed), I promise you that in 2 years, I will be an RN. I am NOT going to let these things set me back. I was married and had a baby by 19 years old, thus dampening my ability for college. I put it off for about 14 years before I finally decided I was at a place where I could pursue this dream and make it a reality. I believe it is always now or never because we are never guaranteed anything beyond what we have right now (as far as opportunities go). I believe my kids are a reason to go back, they will need me to be independent and have a stable profession. They are learning to set goals and meet them. I believe I needed to go back to school so that my family can have two dependable incomes and the burden doesn't rest solely on my husband. But above all, I want to do this for ME. I deserve the opportunity to serve others in this capacity, to have a skilled profession, to have a legacy, and to stand on my own two feet should I ever need it. What would happen if I lost my husband? I shutter to think. I am a little late in life, but better late than never.

Never give up on your dreams. Don't get me wrong, timing is an obvious issue, especially for mommies with families. However, think about what you want and why you want it. You can do this if it is something you truly desire. If you pass it up now, you may not be blessed with another opportunity. I wish you the absolute best and pray you make the best decision for you and your family. I hope things work out well.

Alisha

oliviajolie · Jan 18, 2011

Jewels,
I understand how overwhelmed you must feel. I am a mother of 5 wonderful kids and 2 delightful step-children. My husband goes to school and works full time while I attend school. I will be starting the nursing program tomorrow (first day)! I am so excited! I wanted to take a second to respond to your post.
I have faced my giants, and I am sure lots of people have done the same. I have been divorced for 12 years and remarried for 7 (and still going strong). My first husband and I have a very broken relationship and his wife and I do not blend well. Further, he sued for custody (a battle which began over a year ago). I have been sweating the outcome financially and emotionally. We settled our case this past week, which clears the road for school uninterrupted (or so I pray). Up until that point, I was going mad with worry and anxiety thinking that my anticipated 4 day trial would greatly interefere with school. I am thankful we had mediation and it got worked out (thousands of dollars and sleepless nights later). Further, I have been battling some minor female health issues and will likely need a hysterectomy this year (trying to put it off until December). Prior to my little son being born, we lost a baby to anencephaly, which was devastating. My children range in age from 19 months to 16 years old. They attend 4 different schools. We financially struggle to say the least. The process of going through litigation for a little over a year and the financial hardships caused my marriage some grief, too. However, we are together and dedicated to one another. I love him, trust him, and know he does the same for me. I knew it would either "make us or break us," and I am so thankful it made us. :redbeathe Through it all, I have kept a 4.0 (and yes, I know it is said a lot, but it is the honest truth).
My husband has an amazing ex-wife who had two children, no husband, but a very supportive family. She made it through nursing school a few years ago. She inspired me to push through as well... and I am very proud of her acocmplishment. :yeah:I am very lucky to have such a good relationship with her.
All this said (and greatly condensed), I promise you that in 2 years, I will be an RN. I am NOT going to let these things set me back. I was married and had a baby by 19 years old, thus dampening my ability for college. I put it off for about 14 years before I finally decided I was at a place where I could pursue this dream and make it a reality. I believe it is always now or never because we are never guaranteed anything beyond what we have right now (as far as opportunities go). I believe my kids are a reason to go back, they will need me to be independent and have a stable profession. They are learning to set goals and meet them. I believe I needed to go back to school so that my family can have two dependable incomes and the burden doesn't rest solely on my husband. But above all, I want to do this for ME. I deserve the opportunity to serve others in this capacity, to have a skilled profession, to have a legacy, and to stand on my own two feet should I ever need it. What would happen if I lost my husband? I shutter to think. I am a little late in life, but better late than never.
Never give up on your dreams. Don't get me wrong, timing is an obvious issue, especially for mommies with families. However, think about what you want and why you want it. You can do this if it is something you truly desire. If you pass it up now, you may not be blessed with another opportunity. I wish you the absolute best and pray you make the best decision for you and your family. I hope things work out well.
Alisha

if i could i would give you a million kudos:yeah:

TheOracle · Jan 18, 2011

We all experience doubts on the road to our dreams. You can do anything you want to do as long as you want it.

That said: nursing school is hard. More will be expected of you than has ever been before and not everyone will be understanding or sympathetic to what's going on at home. For every spot in a nursing class there are easily 5 or more individuals applying for it. You will need every ounce of focus and support you can muster.

On top of this, your patients will be expecting and deserving of a nurse who is focused enough to provide quality care. You will literally hold lives in your hands and that is nothing to sneeze at.

From reading your post, it sounds like you have answered yourself. You say right now of most concern to you is your marriage. That's nothing to sneeze at either. You have a list of other reasons why not; have you listed why should do it? Are your reasons why not legitimate reasons that absolutely cannot be dealt with, or are you afraid of pursuing something you want? Many, many others in your situation and worse have pulled off nursing school, but even in the most ideal of situations it's not a cake walk. As hard as you think you know it'll be, it's harder.

I'm truly sorry that you are experiencing difficulties in your marriage, and I don't mean to come off as insensitive. But at the end of the day you have to take care of yourself before you take on others.

As I said, you can do anything you want to do....if you want to do it. As long as you're listing excuses why not, you never will.