Re> I need help

[amateur]

I'm deeply troubled by my problem - so its like this, I am a guy who took up nursing as a study in college and in fact, not only did I enter the academe but I also graduated with the course five years after. Now my problem is this: I can' take care of people. Sometimes even myself, I forget to say, "hey, how are you doing today?"

To at least have some readings other than these robotic books that are driving me crazy - there's too much theories I can't grab on one - I went to the internet and keyed in allnurses.com. I registered my name and my email to the site and excitedly typed in the thread, "I need help, a nurse not prepared for the job." That's all true, okay, nobody in school really asked me if this is what I really wanted, from the beginning of the class in my first year, we were presented with books that had too many illustrations about the person's body, etc and how to communicate with clients, take care of clients, what not to say to clients, what not to do infront of clients, what's this and that, anatomy and physiology, pathology, books, researches, nursing care plans... too many for me to handle. And then I graduated, I'm going to be a nurse in a few months.

I enthusiastically read my books so I will pass the examination and then everything dawned on me, my foolishness during our hospital duties, the way I handled stressful cues from patients, the way I reacted to sickness within my family, the way I avoided handling critically ill patients by pseudo-reading my notebook, the way people affected me more than I should teach them, everything I did stupidly to just get through it.

What I need is some external motivation on how to handle these stresses I have about being too sentimental or being too careless about people and their sickness. Some of you provided some ideas and some commented on my being me? I mean, I thought nurses should be nice and saying all the right things and stuffs. This particular situation is like this: I'm the patient asking you nurses on what to do (maybe some were that mean to motivate me you know, like kicking my ass to work... but really... why are you so mean?)

Thanks for reading, okay, I read your comments and they're funny. I laughed them off:lol2:, just to get through it. I appreciated everything, even the admin. And I apologize for 'psycheing you'?, the heck?

:cry::cry: i really dont want another problem to my problem...

[Crash_Cart]

Sooooo.. What is your question exactly?

[amateur]

none, just clarifying. thats all because i didnt have the chance to say so earlier.

[miss81, BSN, RN]

I know how you're feel...and I'm sure you have heard "you'll get it, time and experience changes everything!" But it's so true! People have said "Be yourself", and that's true... SOMETIMES! Especially when you are new and everyone will be telling you "this is how you should do it!" Listen closely and then decided for yourself if this is truly how YOU should do it! Not everything is right for every nurse. Just know that you'll experience so many "Know it all nurses" that make themselves feel better by making you feel stupid. The first 6 months is the hardest because every question that the patient asks you, you will probably not know the answer to. But find out the answer for them from a coworker, and books and online. It may seem useless at the time, but then 6 months later someone will ask you the same question and you WILL have the answer, and you'll feel confident and great that you know the answer! I think it's a harder as a guy to find an identity in nursing. My husband is also a nurse and he's no martyr. Nursing is not baby sitting and you don't have to be "sweet" all the time. Be professional and just think if that was me in the bed how would I like to be addressed. You wouldn't want to be made to feel like a burden but you also would not like to be babysat! Remember you won't know everything right out of Nursing School...you'll still have to continue educating yourself after every shift about some weird and wonderful disease that you have no idea about or how to take care of... Good luck!

[1TachyRN, RN]

I saw your original post. My question isn't meant to chastize, but I'm curious.

What made you choose nursing?

[Rabid Response]

"nobody in school really asked me if this is what i really wanted, from the beginning of the class in my first year"

i'm assuming that you did not enter college at the age of 12. it's noone's responsibility but yours to decide whether nursing is what you wanted. you chose to study it for whatever reason and then had five years in which to change your mind. i think that people are just aghast that anyone would continue along an educational/career path for so long without realizing that he had no desire to be a nurse.

honestly, i don't think there's a way to fix your problem other than to pick a different career. from what i read about you in this post and your earlier one, you dislike caring for sick people and you find it difficult to concern yourself with the comfort or needs of others. this by no means makes you a bad person, but (considering that you haven't expressed any excitement about the scientific aspects of nursing) i do think that it would make you a bad nurse. it takes way more than compassion to be a nurse, but nobody wants to be cared for by a nurse who lacks it.

take some responsibility for your life. you have a college degree, and that is worth something. get career counseling to find out what you are suited to do. coming to a realization like this is often very liberating--instead of closing one door, you are opening hundreds of new ones.

[leslie :-D]

amateur, i agree w/those who've asked, "why" did you go to school for nsg????

maybe if we can gain insight, possibly about what may have attracted you to nsg, we can help you...

leslie

[elkpark]

amateur, i agree w/those who've asked, "why" did you go to school for nsg????

maybe if we can gain insight, possibly about what may have attracted you to nsg, we can help you...

leslie

(Emphasis mine :)) Isn't that always the classic "nurse" response -- how can I help; how can I fix it? (lol) From what I can tell of reading both the OP's threads, he is a presumably reasonable, responsible adult who just spent five years in uni studying something he doesn't enjoy and doesn't want to do. I'm not sure what on earth we could possibly do to "help" him with that. :) I agree with the earlier suggestion of career counseling. IMHO, nursing as a community has nothing to gain by trying to talk people who don't want to be nurses into being nurses.

To the OP; you say you're looking for "external motivation" to keep you going in nursing -- but external motivation isn't much on which to build a career, and won't get you v. far. It's not the school's job to ask you "if this is what I really wanted" -- that's your decision/responsibility. You told them that it was what you wanted (I assume you weren't kidnapped and forced against your will to attend nursing school, right?) Just your comment about how "nurses should be nice and saying all the right things and stuff" suggests to me that you really haven't figured out much about nursing in your studies. If you don't want to be a nurse, there's nothing wrong or disgraceful about that (it's certainly not for everyone!), and I wish you luck with your future endeavors. I suggest you put some time and effort into figuring out what you do want to do before you start something new.

Best wishes!

[caliotter3]

You seem to be thinking too much, in the words of a supervisor I had many years ago. Once you get involved in what you are doing and are focusing your attention on your duties as well as your patients, all this time to ruminate will diminish and you will probably start to feel better. If that doesn't happen after a good deal of time, then you need to do some serious thinking about another line of work. You can't go through a lifetime worrying like this. There is more to life.

[amateur]

I am learning a lot.

Thanks. I chose nursing because this is what I wanted, I thought the job was cool until lately. I was careless from the beginning but I didn't want to change careers that fast...

anyway. thanks okay.