"Just found out somone I know was diagnosed with cancer"

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Specializes in Assisted Living Nurse Manager.

I am not sure what to do in this situation. Someone I know, I consider her a friend was diagnosed with cancer. We have known each other for many years. We were not the kind of friends who did things together, but enjoyed talking to each other when our paths crossed. She used to be a receptionist/appt. clerk in the clinic I work in. We both went back for our LPN at different times. She now works in the hospital and I still work in the clinic. Our clinic and hospital are attached. Today while I was in the elevator at work I noticed a flyer with her name and a picture of her and her family saying that she was diganosed with cancer and they were having a bake sale for her to raise money for her expenses. I was so shocked and I can not quite thinking about her. So my question to all of you is should I look up her phone number and call her or would this be out of line. I have not seen her since my clinicals, but my heart is breaking for her. She has 4 wonderful little boys and a husband. I do not know if it is appropiate to call out of the blue. How do you handle a situation like this. I want her to know that I am thinking about her and praying for her. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I would call and tell her exactly what you posted here - your concern and prayers are with her and her family. Take care - I'm sorry.

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I think I'd call her, too. I'm sure she could use the support at a time like this. I hope everything works out okay. I'm sorry to hear that.

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Specializes in Acute rehab/geriatrics/cardiac rehab.

Sorry to hear about this. Call her. It would mean a lot to her to know that someone is thinking of her....

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Specializes in Assisted Living Nurse Manager.

Thank you for your reply's. I will call her but for some reason I am afraid too. I don't want to say something wrong (if you know what I mean). I sit here wondering why does it happen to such wonderful people. It just does not seem right somehow.

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Thank you for your reply's. I will call her but for some reason I am afraid too. I don't want to say something wrong (if you know what I mean). I sit here wondering why does it happen to such wonderful people. It just does not seem right somehow.

Call her-your heart will find the right words to say. I am very sorry

about your friends dx. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers......

Meditate, ask for guidance -open your heart . Your support

will be so appreciated by your friend and her family.........

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You may want to send her a card first just to break the ice since you are afraid of saying something wrong just tell her what you have already told all of us in a nice card. After mailing it out give it time to get there then call her up a few days later.

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Specializes in Assisted Living Nurse Manager.

The card does sound like a wonderful idea. I think I will do that. I know I am going to have a very hard time with this, you see, I just lost my dad to cancer on June 8th after a 4 month battle. Now, I am not sure what type of cancer she has, but I pray that it is curable. So many tears shed so far and looks like more are on their way:(

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

I think it would mean so much to her to hear from you. Card, telephone call, both.

I'm so sorry about your dad. It may be that having experienced this will help you in being able to help this lady and her family.

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The card does sound like a wonderful idea. I think I will do that. I know I am going to have a very hard time with this, you see, I just lost my dad to cancer on June 8th after a 4 month battle. Now, I am not sure what type of cancer she has, but I pray that it is curable. So many tears shed so far and looks like more are on their way:(

My heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your Dad.

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I am very sorry about your dad. I am sure your friend would feel comforted to know that you are thinking of her. I ran across an article at www.cancer.org on advice about what to say to someone when you find out they have cancer. Hope it helps. Prayers for your friend and you.

From www.cancer.org website:

"What Should I Say to the Person Who Has Cancer?"shim.gif

"It is normal to feel that you don't know what to say to someone who has cancer. You might only know the person casually, or you may have a closer relationship. The most important thing you can do is acknowledge the situation in some way - whatever is most comfortable for you. You can show interest and concern, you can express encouragement, or you can offer support. Sometimes the most simple expressions of concern are the most meaningful.

Respond from your heart!

Here are some ideas:

  • "I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care."
  • "I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this."
  • "How are you doing?"
  • "If you would like to talk about it, I am here."
  • "Please let me know if I can help."
  • "I'll keep you in my thoughts."

While it is good to be encouraging, it is also important not to show false optimism or to tell the person with cancer to always have a positive attitude. Doing these things may be seen as discounting their fears, concerns, or sad feelings. It is also tempting to say that you know how the person feels. While you may know this is a trying time, no one can know exactly how the person with cancer feels. Humor can be an important way of coping. It is also another source of support and encouragement. Let the person with cancer take the lead; it is healthy if they find something funny about a side effect, like hair loss or increased appetite, and you can certainly join them in a good laugh. This can be a great way to relieve stress and to take a break from the more serious nature of the situation. When the person with cancer looks good, let them know! Avoid making comments when their appearance isn't as good, such as "You're looking pale," or "You've lost weight." Cancer and its treatment can be very unpredictable. Be prepared for good days and bad days."

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I found out that an old roommate (we were vey close in the past but hadn't spoken in years) had given birth to still born baby. I mailed her a card telling her that I was so sorry for her loss and if she needed anything to give me a call.

I wanted to call but didn't know what to say. The card let her know htat I was still thinking about her. She called me shortly afterwards and we have been working on our relationship since.

If you are nervous about what to say, just send her a card and go from there.

Your friend and her family are in my prayers. I hope and pray that she will have a complete recovery.

ERin

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