I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
i agree with both sides...or should i say i understand both sides. when you are a mother your children come first. period. i am more conscious now of being on time and sometimes i go to work not feeling well because i try to save any sick time for something that may happen with my daughter. i don't want to inconveinence anyone. when i was single with no children i dealt with other nurses not coming to work, constantly calling in etc..., the unfortunate thing about this issue is that its not going to change anytime soon. women with kids work more now than they did 30 years ago and it will continue be a challenge. in my area there alot of 24 hour home daycare or extended hours childcare centers that offer after school pick up. these places sometimes have waiting lists so that alone tells you its just not nursing. but i still think that if working weekends, holidays and off shifts are unacceptable to your family life then bedside nursing is not the job for you.
Excellent point you were balanced and objective to both sides. That being said your best point was the last sentence. I was talking to an RN a few weeks ago who made the decision early in her career to work at the county immunization clinic.
She makes decent money, has off all holidays, no weekends, and they get off early on Fridays. She mentioned choosing to work there because of all that so she could spend time with her children and have the same paid vacation slot year after year. She didn't want to wake up one day and realize they 25 and not 3 anymore.
The RNs at this clinic still get to see some interesting things because they also vaccinate adults and they get to see everyone from the newest immigrant in need of their shots to a perosn who got bit by a possibly rabid dog, and people who work for national geographic and companies like that. She also said she knew hospitals weren't her thing her 1st year on the floor.
When my kids were young I had to work holidays, swing & noc shifts. Now that they have lives of their own I'm still expected to work the undesirable d/t co-workers excuses "I have kids". So what! You made that decision yourself. "Buck Up" or just stay home with your kids. I know some situations do occur unexpected illness or accidents. But please don't play the "I have kids card" it's not fair to anyone.
Specializes in Women's Specialty, Post-Part, Scrub(cs).
As a mother, my son is my number one priority. Which is why I quit nursing school when he was 3. I really wanted to be a nurse but, I wanted to be with my son during this time of his life. I found myself a secretarial position, 9-5, Mon-Fri. I went back to school when he was 12. He is now 17 and I have only had to call in once to take him to dr and left early once for his first homecoming dance to take pictures. I was on treatments that day and came in early to be sure I was finished with everything so no one would have to pick up my slack. Holidays for nurses do suck. Since I have been a nurse, I missed Thanksgiving one year, and Christmas one year. First time EVER for me to work on a holiday. But, this is what I chose. My first Christmas to work, a co-worker was off (they rotated each year) She had to work Christmas the year before, and had a new baby. I guess I can see both sides of the board. I just don't think that people should take advantage of the situation. It makes for a bad example. Good job ethics no matter what the occupation is what is important. I like where I work because they have a sick child daycare. For ones who have colds,low-grade temp, ect that a regular daycare will not accept. And they have daycare reimbursement so that if they need sitters during off hours, they can still afford to hire someone. Good Luck all to all the working mom's and dad's. It is hard to juggle both, sometimes.
I think the major theme to be taken from all this is mutual respect. Those who are parents need to appreciate that the other staff's time off is every bit as deserved and valuable as yours. If you go the first step in doing extra for your coworkers you will find a lot more volunteers when you have needs.
I raised my son (and 4 foster sons) as a single mom and did manage it without playing the parent entitlement card. You may need to work harder at finding daycare and you may have to accept that your "ideal" won't be met - kids do survive a few hours with a sitter and a few holidays without mom home. The trauma there is usually yours - not theirs!
Now I'm a grandmother (so I get to pull rank on all you mere parents ) and work as a traveler. I could opt to contract not to work any extra days or holidays if I chose to do so, but instead I work most of them and come in to help out on any unit where the staff is friendly to me. If they are not though, I will do exactly my hours to the minute and no more. The ones I go the furtherest for are the ones like I worked with in AZ who rallied around when they heard my son's ship was putting into a US port and rearranged everyone's schedule to give me 4 days off to go see him - WITHOUT my even asking! Keep in mind they did this for an outsider they didn't owe anything to! Again you get what you give.
It's not often I read an entire thread...much less one this long. I see both sides. I've helped people out, people have helped me out. I've learned who will have my back and who only wants favors but never wants to return them. I've called in a time or two because of lack of childcare when something unforeseen happened. I've called in because I was sick or I had a sick kid. When my husband was working, we'd take turns calling in for sick kids. Fortunately our kids are pretty healthy so it didn't happen often. I had permission to come in 15 minutes late when I worked days at one job (I flipped back and forth between days and nights) if my husband was out of town. My neighbor would pick Ian up when daycare closed at 6 and keep him till I got home. He'd stay at her house overnight when I worked nights when Joe was gone.
As for breastfeeding, I took the breaks I was supposed to be getting anyway. I planned my day so that I could get away to pump. I made sure I was on time or even a little early. I got report, checked the charts, assessed my patients, and passed my meds. Then I checked with the nurses near me and asked them to watch my patients while I pumped. I'd watch their patients so they could go grab some breakfast if they wanted. At lunchtime I'd go pump and then bring my lunch back and eat at the desk. In the afternoon, I'd get caught up and go pump again. And I'd offer my co-workers to leave for a few minutes too. Sometimes I was a little late getting out, so I'd finish charting or passing 6PM meds after report. It wasn't ideal, it didn't always work out but I planned for it the best I could. I asked not to take 1:1 or very critical patients during this time because I thought breastfeeding was more important. I'd be gone for 15 or 20 minutes 3 times a day...the equivilent of a 30 minute lunch and 2 15 minute breaks. I also tried to break up my shifts so I didn't work more than two in a row so I'd have a day to breastfeed at home all day to keep my supply up. It got a little easier with each subsequent kid
I think the OP was venting from being taken advantage of...and I totally agree. You can cut people some slack, but if they can't work the shift and concessions can't be made that work for everyone involved, they may have to move on. I know people who've switched shifts or jobs because their life circumstances changed...Our facility is looking at flexible staffing..."parent" and "school kid" schedules, job sharing, etc. You don't have to be a parent to apply for these shifts. It's open to all, the shifts just have to be worked out so the unit is staffed. I hope it works.
hey, im not a parent and single. I can understand why parents need to call out due to their child being ill. no problem there. I think this topic is more about people abusing it. i dont celebrate christmas but if im off, just because i dont celebrate it doesnt mean i cant enjoy my time off. if someone where to ask to switch ill more then likely do it. i just dont like it when moms/dads feel like holidays are obligated to them b/c they have kids. ill always do my best to cover shifts... as long as their intentions are not to walk over me every holiday because im single and dont have kids. in know way am i implying to the parents that dont abuse rules, i have smypathy and will switch shift most of the times because i could only imagine what it may feel like not being with family during some holidays. only to the people that feel that they should get priority bc they have family are my issues and will frustrate me bc its not right. imo. just my 2 nickles
i totally agree that we chose to be both a nurse and a parent at the same time so we better take responsibilities..
i have a 2 and a 4 yr old and my husband is in the military. what i do is im a mom most week days and be a nurse on the weekends and pick up shifts during the week mostly 3-11 so kids get to stay in daycare for only 2h max and hubby picks them up on the way home..this means not much of a family time for us , no sats or suns to look forward to but nonetheless i get to spend almost all the holidays with them unless it falls on a weekend.if charge nurse wants me to work a holiday my come back is " :nono:NNOOOOO...why?while you guys are enjoying each fri dating out, each sat morning late in bed,each sat afternoon watching a game and each sun in church , i was working my behind off ..!"
hoping that with this thread, we can each learn and gt tip how to manage family and work effectively..
My husband and I have dealt with that all our careers...people would tell us we didn't need to have holidays off because we didn't have children or they would want us to come in early or stay late because they had something to do with their children, but would never reciprocate the favor...hello.... we are people too and we do have lives and just because we chose not to have children, doesn't mean we should be indebt to the ones you didn't make that choice. Now it's funny...because the same people are now saying they need to be off to take care of their grandkids....geez, when does it stop.
i totally agree that we chose to be both a nurse and a parent at the same time so we better take responsibilities..
i have a 2 and a 4 yr old and my husband is in the military. what i do is im a mom most week days and be a nurse on the weekends and pick up shifts during the week mostly 3-11 so kids get to stay in daycare for only 2h max and hubby picks them up on the way home..this means not much of a family time for us , no sats or suns to look forward to but nonetheless i get to spend almost all the holidays with them unless it falls on a weekend.if charge nurse wants me to work a holiday my come back is " :nono:NNOOOOO...why?while you guys are enjoying each fri dating out, each sat morning late in bed,each sat afternoon watching a game and each sun in church , i was working my behind off ..!"
hoping that with this thread, we can each learn and gt tip how to manage family and work effectively..
ned:D
I hope we can get tips for each side to work together effectively likely you said.
However that is not going to happen if there are assumptions like what you threw out to the charge nurse that those of without kids just hang out on the weekends and kick back.
We may be taking care of sick spouses, aging or sickly parents, or caretakers to friends who don't have spouses or other relatives to help them out. Some of us also have children that we didn't give birth to or adopt but seem to be around anyways.
There is also this misconception that people without kids are up all hours of the day and night and have nothing but endless time, energy and patience to spend on everyone elses problems.
Perhaps you didn't mean what you said so negatively but not all childless people are as free of some major responsibilties as society would like to assume.
I don't have any kids and I agree that they shouldn't be allow other privilages just because they have kids and they need this or that...I work with a lady like that...she has a grown married daughter who lives with her and so do her children...the husband lives elsewhere...don't ask. The daughter goes to nursing school so the lady I work with has to request all these days off so she can watch her daughters kids, but then cries about not getting a full work week in (well that is not my problem is it? That is a choice that she makes)...I usually pick up a day or 2 extra because she can't work and then she is always wanting to take my days..I don't think so lady. Maybe it's time to tell her daughter to grow up and take some responsibility. And shouldn't people come to work so that they can support their kids?
Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
) and work as a traveler. I could opt to contract not to work any extra days or holidays if I chose to do so, but instead I work most of them and come in to help out on any unit where the staff is friendly to me. If they are not though, I will do exactly my hours to the minute and no more. The ones I go the furtherest for are the ones like I worked with in AZ who rallied around when they heard my son's ship was putting into a US port and rearranged everyone's schedule to give me 4 days off to go see him - WITHOUT my even asking! Keep in mind they did this for an outsider they didn't owe anything to! Again you get what you give.
beth66335, BSN, RN
890 Posts
:deadhorse