we often see threads with the title "fired for no reason," or "new grad harassed and fired" or something to that effect. and i always feel at least a little sympathy for the individual involved, if only because i can clearly see by reading between the lines of their self-justifying post that there was a reason for their termination, even if they just don't get it. (there are always a few posts every year from a new grad who is convinced that the reason she's not getting along with her co-workers is that she's just so beautiful they're all jealous, that crowds of mean people are following her around, that she's so wonderful she's going to rock the er or icu or nicu or or and no one sees her wonderfulness clearly, or that some mean, tired, old nurse who ought to retire and get out of the way is targeting her for no good reason.)
i worked with a new grad who was recently terminated for, as she puts it, totally bogus reasons. evidently seeing mine as a sympathetic ear, she went on and on and on about how unfair it was that management expected her to get her act together and actually understand what was going on with her patients. "i've got the time management thing down pat," she said. "i don't know what else they want. they're just picking on me for no good reason." i liked sal, i really did. she was interesting and entertaining and really, really nice. she was also smart, hard-working (when she was at work) and well-educated. but she didn't study outside of work, and really didn't understand what was going on with her patients. i participated in several meetings with her in which it was pointed out that it's not enough to do the tasks, you have to understand why you're doing them. it's not enough to draw the labs. you have to understand what the results mean and then address them. for instance, if the inr is 9, it might explain the nosebleed, the cherry red urine and the fact that the hemoglobin is now 6. giving the coumadin at 6pm as scheduled is not a good thing, even if you gave it right on time and were able to explain to the patient that "it's a blood thinner." i could go on and on.
i got a call from sal today, complaining that she knows she's blackballed for no good reason because she just can't get another job. she wanted me to give her a reference. did she just not get it?
all you new grads out there who are convinced that you're being picked on for no reason, that your more experienced colleagues are just out to get you, and that you're being unfairly targeting, harassed, or picked on, hear this: it may be something you're doing (or not doing) and all those "mean people" are trying to explain it to you so you catch on, learn your job and succeed. we all tried over and over with sal, and she still doesn't get it. are you guilty of the same thing? if your preceptor says you lack critical thinking skills, do you take it to heart, think about it and learn from it? or are you convinced that the entire issue is that she's jealous of your extreme good looks? if your charge nurse charges you with a deficit in your time management skills do you spend time figuring out where you could speed things up a bit? or do you dismiss her as a tired old dog who can't learn a new trick and ought to retire anyway? are you taking to heart and benefitting from any negative feedback you're getting, however poorly given it is? or are you obsessing about how "mean" that nurse was to you and totally overlooking the message?
i wish sal would have "gotten it." she would have been delightful to work with if she had. but right now she's focused on badmouthing her preceptors and the charge nurse, and she still doesn't understand what she did wrong. don't make the same mistakes.
Excuse me, but in my experience only the best rise into management. Unfortunately they often were great nurses and not necessarily good managers. The is is result of "The Peter Principle" which explains that "In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence." :paw:
Lordy, I wish that was the case where I'm at. The majority of those who were great at management decided to get the heck out and go back to floor nursing after a few years. Seems like all we have left are those who put the bottom line before the patients and don't care how incompetent staff is as long as there's a body to count.
Even if they know what is going on with you it will not help. People who do this to others do not care why you are the way you are. They do not care if your Dad, Mom, child, whoever is dying. They do not care if your ex is stalking you. They do not care if you are homeless and living out of a box under a bridge. People like that only sense your weakness- and like vicious dogs they attack. Unfortunately we are only human. We all have our limits. Do not look back with regret. Move forward and put it behind you. Hope your life is better now. Maybe one day you will have the pleasure of taking care of that old witch. Either way, she will get a life lesson for her treatment of you. I am a firm believer in Karma.
re: FMLA, it applies to illness or providing care for an immediate family member and sister/brother in law would qualify. There are some conditions, i.e.: FT employment for one year, but after that it's pretty open and if you've qualified you have 12 weeks to take in any increments you need to...one day at a time or weeks at a time. For an employer not to offer this option to an employee in this situation is not just immoral it is against federal law and prosecutable!
I've seen many a' post from Ruby Vee and know that she would not commit lateral violence on anyone in her workplace, much less a new grad. We all know that at times there are those who are just not getting it, then blame others or situations for that. Sometimes a new area or different facility or even a different career is what is needed. This isn't found in just nursing, it's every job under the spectrum.
I've seen many a' post from Ruby Vee and know that she would not commit lateral violence on anyone in her workplace, much less a new grad. We all know that at times there are those who are just not getting it, then blame others or situations for that. Sometimes a new area or different facility or even a different career is what is needed. This isn't found in just nursing, it's every job under the spectrum.
I don't know what the folks here on allnurses do in their personal lives. I only read what they write here on the boards. From some, I consistently read posts in fervent defense (sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly) of workplace violence and it presents a pattern. The pattern may or may not exist in life, but it certainly exists in text.
While I agree that it exists in other professions, I don't believe that that existence excuses the behaviors. Whenever I read that, it kind of makes me think of a teenager who's obviously done something wrong telling his/her parents, "Well, the Anderson kids do it!!!"
Even if this were allpostalworkers or alllawyers or allemployees, I think it would still be worthwhile to discuss the eradication of workplace violence.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
lateral violence and workplace bullying are alive and well in nursing.
there are plenty of new grads who don't know their tails from a hole in the wall.
making an example of the one new grad who couldn't be taught (allegedly) does nothing to excuse lateral violence and/or workplace bullying.
just smoke and mirrors.
the thread isn't about workplace violence, however pervasive it may or may not be within our profession. the thread is about a new grad who just didn't get it no matter how hard (or how many) we "old nurses" tried to help her out. and we did try. it was meant to provoke thoughts in other new grads who feel that they may be unfairly targeted for their extreme good looks, perky figures, superiour knowledge base or whatever.
if you're seeing bullying wherever you look, perhaps you need to look inside.
the thread isn't about workplace violence, however pervasive it may or may not be within our profession.
it wasn't difficult to see the subtle overture to workplace violence. it was pretty well laid out in the original post...
all you new grads out there who are convinced that you're being picked on for no reason, that your more experienced colleagues are just out to get you, and that you're being unfairly targeting, harassed, or picked on, hear this...
the young lady you referred to in your original post could surely have been as block-headed as you described her to be. don't get me wrong.
however, i have to ask myself...is it possible to have a discussion about a difficult colleague without launching into an auxiliary discussion of unfair targeting and harassment?
i think so.
what would be the point of issuing a warning, public service announcement, general advisement (what-have-you) to all new grads, that whatever injustices they perceive are most likely nothing more than conjured projections of their own inadequacies if there weren't some investment on the part of the author to dissuade readers from considering the possibility that there is more than one contributing factor? why present an example and then use it to make a blanket statement that in effect, trivializes a very real problem?
it just makes me wonder if it isn't a way to seek justification and support for an off-color viewpoint while hiding behind the guise of, "it's really not about that." how can one have it both ways? it's "about that" when gathering support, but not "about that" when facing criticism? considering the subject, it's ironic, isn't it? dare i say, hypocritical?
if you're seeing bullying wherever you look, perhaps you need to look inside.
i'm pretty sure you meant 'you' in the general sense here and not the literal sense, right?
regardless, the distinction should be made between seeing bullying wherever one looks and seeing bullying right smack dab where it lives.
It wasn't difficult to see the subtle overture to workplace violence. It was pretty well laid out in the original post...
The young lady you referred to in your original post could surely have been as block-headed as you described her to be. Don't get me wrong.
However, I have to ask myself...Is it possible to have a discussion about a difficult colleague without launching into an auxiliary discussion of unfair targeting and harassment?
I think so.
I think so too. I also agree that lateral violence in the workplace DOES happen, and is disgusting. However, if you re-read te original post, you would see that the new grad Ruby was discussing made mistakes that weren't acceptable, and instead of accepting responsibility, and attempting to learn from both her mistakes and her more experienced coworkers, she insisted that she was doing everything right and was simply being blackballed. Hence the discussion of "unfair targeting and harrassment". No one expects new grads to know everything. Being precepted is part of the learning process. When, however, a new grad insists that she knows everything, doesn't ask questions, and makes unacceptable mistakes because of that, it is not bullying to correct them. Nor is it bullying to call them on to the carpet for it.
It was the new grad who turned it into that issue. Not Ruby. She was just relating the story to us, I would guess in hopes of showing newbies how NOT to deal with issues that will inevitably come up in the learning process. And it is so tired to use the "bitter old nurse" argument.. For every bitter old nurse, one could say there is also the obnoxious, know-it-all new grad. Both cliches are tired, and what it comes down to is that if respect is shown, respect will be given, and the learning environment flows. Nobody bullied that new grad. She made mistakes, refused to learn from them despite her preceptors trying to teach her and help her out, and got canned. Nobody's fault but her own.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Even if this were allpostalworkers or alllawyers or allemployees, I think it would still be worthwhile to discuss the eradication of workplace violence.
Of course it's worthwhile to discuss the eradication of workplace violence, and there are a multitude of threads on that subject. This one is about the transition from school to the reality of life in your new job, and addressed to the fact that many new nurses can't adjust to that, and then leave nursing, whether by choice or not. Your reaction is indicative of what she's talking about. If you re-read the post, you will see that most of it talks about how she likes the new nurse, how much time she spent explaining things to her, how many meetings she attended to help her, and how she acted as a sympathetic ear AFTER she was fired. If that's workplace violence, bring it on!! You got hung up on the first paragraph to the point that you were unable to see the true focus of her post. So maybe when you are in nursing school, you won't get hung up on someone's TONE that you don't like, and try to see the nuggets of truth in what they are saying.
I think so too. I also agree that lateral violence in the workplace DOES happen, and is disgusting. However, if you re-read te original post, you would see that the new grad Ruby was discussing made mistakes that weren't acceptable, and instead of accepting responsibility, and attempting to learn from both her mistakes and her more experienced coworkers, she insisted that she was doing everything right and was simply being blackballed. Hence the discussion of "unfair targeting and harrassment". No one expects new grads to know everything. Being precepted is part of the learning process. When, however, a new grad insists that she knows everything, doesn't ask questions, and makes unacceptable mistakes because of that, it is not bullying to correct them. Nor is it bullying to call them on to the carpet for it.
It was the new grad who turned it into that issue. Not Ruby. She was just relating the story to us, I would guess in hopes of showing newbies how NOT to deal with issues that will inevitably come up in the learning process. And it is so tired to use the "bitter old nurse" argument.. For every bitter old nurse, one could say there is also the obnoxious, know-it-all new grad. Both cliches are tired, and what it comes down to is that if respect is shown, respect will be given, and the learning environment flows. Nobody bullied that new grad. She made mistakes, refused to learn from them despite her preceptors trying to teach her and help her out, and got canned. Nobody's fault but her own.
I understand the original post and what it was trying to infer about the specific person it addressed.
What I don't understand is why it was necessary to extrapolate the message to all new grads and trivialize workplace violence in the process. The concept in and of itself makes sense. The delivery however, raises questions.
I find it hard to differenciate between wet behind the ears, over-sensitive, self-absorbed newbies using the existence of workplace violence as a justification for bad behavior and a crutch for incompetence.....and veteran nurses, experienced enough and probably perceptive enough to know better, using the bad behavior and incompetence of newbie nurses as a justification for workplace violence.
By virtue of the seriousness of the subject matter, I view both with equal skepticism.
I understand the original post and what it was trying to infer about the specific person it addressed.
What I don't understand is why it was necessary to extrapolate the message to all new grads and trivialize workplace violence in the process. The concept in and of itself makes sense. The delivery however, raises questions.
Triquee, you're right that workplace violence or harrassment should never be tolerated. But this post is about being wet behind the ears, and not being willing or able to learn, then placing the blame elsewhere. And really, this message shouldn't be directed to new grads only, the message applies to everyone, as we're not all cut out for same areas. Please quit trying to pick a fight with this, as to me it seems as if you are the one who is being negative.
No, I'm not picking the fight with you either, but please go back and read the WHOLE original post and try to see where this was coming from.
mama_d, BSN, RN
1,187 Posts
Lordy, I wish that was the case where I'm at. The majority of those who were great at management decided to get the heck out and go back to floor nursing after a few years. Seems like all we have left are those who put the bottom line before the patients and don't care how incompetent staff is as long as there's a body to count.