"Don't you find this degrading?"

[shhhh]

I had a well-spoken, educated woman as my patient. She had this pretentious vibe to her, but I found her to be polite. That is, until I explained that cath care needed to be done and the rationale behind having to do it.As I'm performing the cath care, she said, "Don't you find this degrading? I would never do this!" I was offended, of course. It's not like I'm a stripper or something, I'm taking care of people here. How can that truly be degrading to me? And I think I was mostly annoyed, too, because I offered to give her what she needed to do the cath care herself, but she declined. If you're not happy about someone else washing you, you'd do whatever to ensure you could to wash yourself, right? In this instance, I said, "Well, Im used to doing this sort of thing. It's important that you don't get a UTI" because I didn't know what else to say. If/when someone has said something similar to you, what did you say to them? And... What did you REALLY want to say instead? :)

[ckh23, BSN, RN]

I kinda like "It's not like I'm a stripper or something."

Everyone has to make a living.

[NayRN]

She probably felt degraded and was taking it out on you-I mean, was she one of those who was unable to reach her own peri area? Or did she have a foley because she was incontinent without it?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Since we can no longer see your years of experience without leaving the page, I can only guess that you might be relatively new in nursing?

You can click on the number of stars that appears in the upper right hand corner of the person's post to see how much experience they have, and this can be done without leaving the page.

Anyhow, I clicked on the OP's stars and quickly discovered (s)he has eight years of experience (without ever leaving the page). :)

[tntrn, ASN, RN]

Just last week, I had a young mom who was on Mag Sulfate for preterm labor suppression. There were a couple of occasions when she asked me about things (one was if I could look "down there" to see if she was swollen, because she felt like she was).

She apologized to me for asking, saying she didn't want to gross me out, and so we had to have the little conversation about it being my job, and that is what we do and what we are trained to do, and that I understood that it's not a common thing for her, but it is common for me. I always tell my patients, in situations like this, that if someone stopped me on the street and asked the same of me, I'd probably call the cops, but in this setting, it is my job to make assessments like this, and in her situation, it was an important thing....for me check so as to ease her mind.

When I left that shift, she thanked me for taking such good care of her. Let's face it. We do things at work everyday that people don't usually get help with at home: help them bathe or shower, wipe their bottoms after they use the bathroom, dress wounds, touch them in places that they only usually touch themselves. Of course, they are feeling a little bit weird about it. How could they not? But if you gently remind them that part of their getting better depends on us doing what we are doing, most of them can relax a little and not feel invaded.

[mazy]

She was probably projecting her own discomfort with the situation. Patients often apologize for needing things that are otherwise considered private or off limits. I think you handled it properly, and don't really see her as uppity. I am sure she was not trying to put you in your place by this. Since we can no longer see your years of experience without leaving the page, I can only guess that you might be relatively new in nursing? No matter, you will hear things like this from patients as you continue on. And some of the things you will hear won't be as nice as this.

I agree with this. I think she felt upset that you had to be up in her parts; and she felt that it was probably really unpleasant for you. She may have felt apologetic and this was her way of kind of touching on the topic indirectly.

I also think that to a certain level, she felt degraded by the experience, not because of anything you were doing, but because of how exposed she was.

I would not take this like a personal affront at all. A lot of times people will be apologetic to me because they feel bad that I have to do such cares; I usually tell them it's my job and I love my job. That puts them at ease.

[Karen]

It is an awkward situation for people to receive cath care and comments like that are a real teachable moment. I think your response about it being very important about preventing a UTI was spot on and probably she was embarrassed and needed some reassurance that this was not an issue for you and that it was important nursing care. BTW I wouldn't feel degraded being a stripper either, why are women so judgemental to women.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I think your answer was appropriate. I am sure she was just projecting her feeling of discomfort beign completely alert with a stranger performing a very personal task. What I hate are the jerks who think gining you a show of their less than impressive "junk" trying to "shock" you......., really?

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

Just last week, I had a young mom who was on Mag Sulfate for preterm labor suppression. There were a couple of occasions when she asked me about things (one was if I could look "down there" to see if she was swollen, because she felt like she was).

She apologized to me for asking, saying she didn't want to gross me out, and so we had to have the little conversation about it being my job, and that is what we do and what we are trained to do, and that I understood that it's not a common thing for her, but it is common for me. I always tell my patients, in situations like this, that if someone stopped me on the street and asked the same of me, I'd probably call the cops, but in this setting, it is my job to make assessments like this, and in her situation, it was an important thing....for me check so as to ease her mind.

When I left that shift, she thanked me for taking such good care of her. Let's face it. We do things at work everyday that people don't usually get help with at home: help them bathe or shower, wipe their bottoms after they use the bathroom, dress wounds, touch them in places that they only usually touch themselves. Of course, they are feeling a little bit weird about it. How could they not? But if you gently remind them that part of their getting better depends on us doing what we are doing, most of them can relax a little and not feel invaded.

Great answer!! I usually said something answer any question like "don't you hate doing that" with a simple "no."

[noahsmama]

You can click on the number of stars that appears in the upper right hand corner of the person's post to see how much experience they have, and this can be done without leaving the page.

Anyhow, I clicked on the OP's stars and quickly discovered (s)he has eight years of experience (without ever leaving the page). :)

I can see the years of experience without having to click on anything. Not sure why -- I didn't do anything to set it up that way.

[shhhh]

Only when I have to do this for people who could do it for themselves but prefer to have "the help" do it instead.

EXACTLY! I feel like your statement describes the entire situation in a nutshell! I think some people who replied missed a key point that I guess I should have elaborated on: she was perfectly capable of doing it herself (to clarify, she was definitely able to reach), but she wanted me to do it instead. I provided education, stating explicitly what exactly needed to be done. I acknowledged that she might feel uncomfortable if someone else did it, and that she might feel better about it if she did it herself. I had just witnessed her washing her face, applying La Mer cream, and then some makeup. I figured if she was able-bodied enough to do that, then she would probably prefer to do it herself. I always offer set-up assistance for my neuro intact patients who are reasonably independent, because I think it would be odd to not offer it. I figured that she probably wouldn't have wanted that I touch her in such a private area (she definitely didn't want me touching her expensive face cream), and I offered to bring her the supplies so she could do it herself, with plenty of explicit instruction and support. "No, you can just do it." I'm not going to be jerk and say no (and I don't want anyone to get a CAUTI on my watch!), so I did it for her.

I've had countless patients apologize to me about having to do things of a sensitive nature for them, but a huge majority of them were too sick, too painful, couldn't reach, or otherwise incapable of doing it on their own. It's no problem to help someone like that. That's why I do this job. However, this time around, I found myself offended because the patient was able to do it herself, but basically insisted that I do it for her. Then, right in the middle of it, say, "Don't you find doing this degrading?" I wanted to say, "Well... only when I have to do this for people who could do it for themselves but prefer to have "the help" do it instead!" :/

[tntrn, ASN, RN]

The stars on my version shows on the number of posts. nothing about years of experience. Yet another, oh, never mind...

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

The stars on my version shows on the number of posts. nothing about years of experience. Yet another, oh, never mind...

That's strange, because I clicked on your three silver stars a few minutes ago and quickly saw that you have 34 years of experience (without ever leaving this page, of course).