Questions for the single parents

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi AL, I recently passed my nclex and am currently waiting on my license, I received an am shift full time job offer at a nursing home 15-20 minutes from my house, I believe the shift starts at 6:30am which means I would have to leave the house around 6:00am and head straight to work to ensure good timing.

Heres the problem, the earliest my kids can be at school is 6:15am. Their dad isnt willing to help with getting them to school and Im limited on other options for assistance with them. How do you single moms do it? What shift do you work to juggle motherhood? I want an am shift so that I can be home with them everynight but how am I supposed to get them to school??? All advise is welcome.

Ps they are little so I cant let them walk to school alone

Specializes in OB.

I second hiring a high school kid, or even better, are you near a college or university? You can hire a college student to do anything. Colleges generally have career centers where you can create online job postings and students respond to you with their background, availability, and arrange to meet you for interviews so that the process is pretty easy.

If they were only coming for an hour or so to get the kids ready and take them to school, you would probably pay about $15 per day depending on the rates for babysitting in your area. You could also have them pick the kids up after school so you don't have to rush after work. I babysat my way through college, and many parents I sat for had a few different students they would use, to make all of our schedules work and to have spare sitters on hand in case of cancellations.

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Specializes in Labor and Delivery.

Also try Care.com. I found a babysitter off that site (background check, references, etc) who helped me with my kids when I worked my last job (better circumstances and hours now at my current job, thank goodness). She was wonderful, the kids loved her, and she was inexpensive. If not, like others have said, try posting for a local babysitter who is a teen or college student. Best of luck!!

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Since your kids go to a private school, I'd ask there. Let the administration know of your issue, they might know of a family who can help. Do you know another family living near where your job offer is who would be willing to take the kids? I understand wholly. While I was in school, my kids attended a private school. no-one near us to help driving. Good thing my university was about 3 miles away from the kids' schools (yes, it was one school, but 3 different buildings, one of them 1.5 miles away from the others!). I was able to drop off the kids a few minutes early, have another parent drive the youngest to the off-campus building, and then make my way to school, praying I'd have good traffic lights and find a parking space quickly.

Good luck.

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Specializes in ICU.

Do your kids have any friends that go to their school that you can drop them off at their house in the morning? My son goes to a public school but it's in a different district than where we live. I live right on the border. But I am allowed to drive him in district to get the bus. His best friend lives in district so he takes the bus from their house. On mornings there are issues, I can take him to their house early. I am though good friends with the mom. It's just a thought.

It's pretty crappy that their dad won't help out. He did do 50% of the job in making them. If my ex ever pulled something like that, I'd be at my lawyer and have his butt in court. That's just ridiculous.

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Not a single parent by any means but I am a military spouse and my husband is currently deployed. My shifts start at 6am and I live 30 minutes from the hospital. I have a girl come to my house at 5am. I leave and she gets him up and ready for school and drives him there. I pay $50 for this "before work" care. His school starts at 8am so for at least an hour she is just at my house while he sleeps.

After school she is "on call" so to speak bc I work in surgery so I never have an exact time that I get off. It could be 12pm or it could be 6pm. Generally it is in the 3-5pm range though. I pay her $15/hour from here on out until I get home and that includes her picking him up from school, doing homework, making him dinner and taking care of our dog. She will also do dishes, take out the trash and just little things that on the days I work I have no time to do.

So far since March, I have hired 2 people. One girl quit on me bc she was also a teacher and it became too much for her I guess. Now I just have one other girl. She is in her 20s. I found both of them from care. com. I set up a job ad and interviewed people in public places vs inside of my home. Some people think I pay too much but I compensate for the early morning time and then of course the driving. I would advise against a high school student just because I would want someone older and more responsible.

It *is* possible but really tough being the only parent and also a nurse I think. Mostly just because of the hours and most daycares are 6am to 6pm. The biggest frustration I have found is that people at my job are not that understanding of the fact that I don't really have any back-up childcare. A few months back, I had him in after school care which ends at 6pm and we had surgeries still not starting until after that time (even though technically we closed at 5). It really stressed me out knowing that I had a patient but at the same time *had* to leave to pick up my son. After that is when I pulled him out of that care and just had the sitter pick him up from school at the normal time.

My closest family is 80 miles away too so that won't work in an emergency although I do have them come over if I know it is a school break or something. Or I send my son there.

Anyway- long story short. It's hard and it's a lot but having someone come to your house is the best option I think. If you can find someone good, then they are worth their weight in gold. Now I go to work and don't have to worry that he will be cared for and I can come home after my work is completed without rushing.

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What a shame the kids father won't help support you which would in turn, help support your kids, I am almost wanting to say, can him and get a man that will help you, when you start working you will need to have a supportive man to help with the kids, this is just the beginning but I won't tell you what to do about him because that isn't what this thread is about. I hope you can find someone to trust, especially this day in age.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

OP, you are awesome for setting a good example for your children in terms of hard work and not giving up. :)

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Its tough, I've been doing it for a year as a full time single dad, full-time nurse and full-time student. You really have to master the art of juggling things around and cut out all the junk that can happen later or doesn't need to happen at all. I've found that a really strict schedule helps quite a bit, and using weekends as a catch up days. Again its not easy, it can suck and stress is abundant. A good support system of family helps too for days when you need to get away or just can't make and appointment, school function or what not. Wish you the best of luck.

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Thank you all for the advice, it has made things alot clearer for me

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