questions about your first code.. from a student nurse

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Hi all.. I'm a second year SN seeking my BSN. Today on peds I had a toddler who was going into respiratory distress with stridor. Luckily the code team was able to revive him. I assisted a little bit-and helped calm the mother down. The is the 1st time I've seen this happen to a child-I managed to keep it together during clinical today but I keep feeling so sad for him-and his mother. It was a difficult and scary thing to see, especially for someone so young. I know as a nurse I will see this often-but my question is: do you get used to it? Is it normal to feel teary, especially for a child? I'm not sure how I am supposed to react. I did go into the break room and pray for a minute-Is it normal to have something like this linger in your head post-shift?

I know that I could never work in NICU or PICU because I would get too emotional seeing a child die. I am still sad when an adult patient dies but I am able to rationalize it . . . a 90 year old, the natural end of his life. But, a baby or young child . . . has not lived . . . get teary just thinking about it.

And yet, don't we believe that God is in control ultimately and that these things happen the way He wants them to? His timing is often not our timing, His ways are often not our ways, but He is still in control. So I believe. :redbeathe

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Specializes in acute care med/surg, LTC, orthopedics.

Sorry, but I don't buy into that bible thumping attempt at reasoning. A child dying is an unjustifiable tragedy, no matter the situation or interpretation.

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Sorry, but I don't buy into that bible thumping attempt at reasoning. A child dying is an unjustifiable tragedy, no matter the situation or interpretation.

I have never thumped a Bible in my life. I did not mean to offend you, I just have beliefs that you appear not to share. That's ok, isn't it? We are all different. I just shared my view, that's all. I am as entitled to mine as you are to yours, right? I don't see why you have to get angry about it. And I really don't appreciate you using that trite and tired phrase to describe what I hold to be truth. It's disrespectful of you to say to me what you did.

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Specializes in acute care med/surg, LTC, orthopedics.
I have never thumped a Bible in my life. I did not mean to offend you, I just have beliefs that you appear not to share. That's ok, isn't it? We are all different. I just shared my view, that's all. I am as entitled to mine as you are to yours, right? I don't see why you have to get angry about it. And I really don't appreciate you using that trite and tired phrase to describe what I hold to be truth. It's disrespectful of you to say to me what you did.

Well actually.... you phrased it as "don't we believe that God is in control ultimately..." That's the part that got my goat, spoken as if it's the universal truth shared by all of mankind. Sure you're allowed to have your views, but those who don't necessarily share your beliefs can easily construe your statement as presumptuous and intrusive. Sorry if that offends you.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

I am not looking forward to my first code. I have been a nurse for two years, and thankfully it has not happened yet. It is my goal to get them off the floor well in advance of that moment, I know though, any day it could be something sudden and I try to prepare myself for that day. I wear my heart on my sleeve though and I'm sure my first code will have a profound effect on me. Thankfully we do not see children, I would never go into PEDS because at this point in my life, having a young child, I could not cope with that. I reminisce about patients that have touched me on almost a daily basis. I can remember their names, their family members, their favorite things - whether its morphine or ice cream, its a gift and a curse being able to touch someone else's life as deeply as we are able to and share in their best and worst moments.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
And yet, don't we believe that God is in control ultimately and that these things happen the way He wants them to? His timing is often not our timing, His ways are often not our ways, but He is still in control. So I believe. :redbeathe

No. I don't believe in a God that "takes" people away from their loved ones. I believe that "time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." The stuff about "God needed another angel" just doesn't fly with me. (There's a pun in there somewhere.)

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Specializes in FNP.

After 16 years in critical care the only thing I feel about codes is the dread of the paperwork. I am not heartless, but I don't get emotionally involved with work. I do remember the 1st one some 20 years ago when I was still on a med-surge floor. I was working 3-11 and the code happened at 10:30. I was totally freaking out b/c I had to pick my kid up at day care by midnight. I was late, they kicked my kid out and I had to look for a new job. Don't remember Jack about the patient, even if she ornate lived or died. I just remember being frantic about the time. I'm still that way, lol, I like to leave on time.

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Specializes in FNP.

As for the meta discussion, I dont believe in god, and i don't believe in life after death, nor do I find death particualiry sad or tragic. We are born, we live, we die. All of us. That's it. I do the best i can for the living, but when it's over, i don't look back.

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Well actually.... you phrased it as "don't we believe that God is in control ultimately..." That's the part that got my goat, spoken as if it's the universal truth shared by all of mankind. Sure you're allowed to have your views, but those who don't necessarily share your beliefs can easily construe your statement as presumptuous and intrusive. Sorry if that offends you.

You are correct. I did use "we" and should not have done so, although I know that there are many, many theists here who do share my view. By no means did I mean to sound like I think everyone here or in the world at large believes the Bible or believes in God's existence. I daily become more and more aware of just how many people do not put their faith in Jesus and who are not even theists at all. So I apologize for that.

However, I am really tired of the phrase "Bible thumping" and I think you showed disrespect for those of us who do believe in the Bible and who call ourselves Christians or Jews. Why do you think it's ok to disrespect those of us who put our trust in the Bible and try to live according to its teachings? You sounded offended and angry in your response, not like a peacemaker or a teacher seeking to educate and inform and sensibly, peacefully make your point.

I am very frustrated when people use the term that you used, also when they immediately become angry and won't hold a peaceful discussion but turn, rather, to being offended and go into attack mode. Jumping on somebody with both feet doesn't work so well on the job, as you might have learned if you've done it there. Please don't do it here, either. Show the same respect for others that you wish to be shown to yourself.

There's a peaceful, gentle, productive way to say that you find someone's post offensive or incorrect or presumptuous. I really would appreciate it if you'd use that way on me in the future, OttawaRPN.

Thanks and peace.

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After 16 years in critical care the only thing I feel about codes is the dread of the paperwork. I am not heartless, but I don't get emotionally involved with work. I do remember the 1st one some 20 years ago when I was still on a med-surge floor. I was working 3-11 and the code happened at 10:30. I was totally freaking out b/c I had to pick my kid up at day care by midnight. I was late, they kicked my kid out and I had to look for a new job. Don't remember Jack about the patient, even if she ornate lived or died. I just remember being frantic about the time. I'm still that way, lol, I like to leave on time.

That was some kinda uncool sitter!

ornate lived or died? ornate? what does that mean?

I have always known there must be a market for 24/7/365 child care.

Did you really feel nothing for the patient or family?

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Specializes in FNP.

Im unclear about what is uncool in your estimation.

"ornate" was some kind of weird iphone auto correct. happens to me all the time, sorry. Should read I have no recollection if the patient was male or female, lived or died, I only remember the circumstances made me late and caused me a huge hassle.

No, I don't recall feeling anything other than anxiety about picking up the kid. As I said in my subsequent post, I don't get emotionally involved with patients. Hopefully, they either recover or have a pain free death. I do my best, as directed, towards those ends, but I don't personalize the outcome. It isn't healthy IMO.

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Specializes in PICU now, Peds and med-surg in the past.

Your reaction is so normal. Keep that ability to empathize always! I truly believe that the day I see a code and I am not emotionally effected some way is the day that I need to do something else. Best wishes in school!

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