question, hope this is okay.

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i'm a nursing student and i'm in my OB rotation.

the other day i observed a vag. delivery, where the OB attending was the same OB that 'delivered' my baby 3 years ago.

i noticed that he did a lot of the same things that upset me during my delivery, although i didn't say a word since i was there for school purposes.

he cranked the pitocin on this pt (the nurses said) for his convenience, because she wasn't progressing fast enough for his taste.

his office is two blocks away, but he didn't show up until after the mother was already pushing, and he didn't touch the mother or baby whatsoever, not once. he stood back and didn't do or say anything, while the residents did everything.

he also made crass "joking" remarks about how his patients would now be annoyed by having to wait in the office while he had to come deliver this woman's baby. :uhoh3:

he then ran out as soon as possible, after giving perfunctory 'congratulations' and again, let the residents and nurses do everything including the stitching (2nd degree tear), etc.

maybe i do not have realistic expectations?

is this standard?

i was very upset with this doc because when i was pregnant, i was already a long-term patient for 4 years or more. it was a perfectly healthy, routine pregnancy, and i saw his midwives the entire time.

it was specifically spelled out, that his midwives would attend to me in labor (barring any major complications which might suddenly arise). even with my pre-admission to the hospital, i specified that it was a midwife delivery.

my water broke in the middle of the night at 39 w 2 d -- i was GBS+, so i knew i would have to receive antibiotics during labor, esp. after my water broke.

contractions started regularly after my water broke --- it was 2 AM on a sunday (i know, bad me for having the nerve to go into labor on a sunday morning!) --- i called the Ob's office and he was on call. he told me to go to hospital and start the antibiotics --- i reminded him that i was to be with the midwives, he said okay.

i go to the hospital, and had a decel during the initial monitoring. however, according to all the nurses, everything was FINE from that point on. i kept begging to be allowed back out of bed to walk around and relieve the pain, but they kept telling me i HAD to stay in the bed because of that ONE freaking decel, supposedly the doc / resident wanted me in bed and on the monitors the entire time.

i had wanted a natural labor, but since i was continually told i was not allowed out of bed and the pain and stress were getting to me (i started feeling claustrophobic and a lot of anxiety) i asked for some stadol at last.

that just zonked me out, i sort of slept, and they said my contractions slowed down 'too much' (my guess is that they slowed too much for the doc's convenience) ---

they then gave me pitocin. of course that was excruciating, so reluctantly, i asked for the epidural at last, because i figured there was no point in suffering in excruciating pain, when i couldn't even attempt to relieve it by walking, soaking in the tub, or anything i originally planned to do.

i progressed quickly and was ready to push, my body was pushing by itself, but they were telling me to wait because the doc was on his way and it would be like 15 minutes :uhoh3:

so some strange resident i never met came in to take over, and obviously i'm in no position at this point to protest. i had been naive, i guess, and thought that my midwives would show up during the morning. wrong.

the ob showed up after i was already pushing, didn't touch me or the baby once ... i pushed well for 15 minutes or less, and the baby was ALMOST out. they decided to use the vaccuum and although i didn't think it was necessary, i thought she would be out in one or two pushes, they yanked her and i got a 3rd degree tear. i delivered at 10:35 AM.

my baby also wound up with pretty bad jaundice (18), a big lump on her head, and had breastfeeding difficulties, bili-blanket and daily heelsticks, it was a nightmare. got little to no breastfeeding help in hospital, even though i asked repeatedly.

she had a nuchal cord x1 which was easily removed and her apgars were 9 and 9, she was perfectly fine in that regard.

i have a history of being verbally / physically abused as well as being sexually abused, so all this was very traumatizing to me. i ended up with ppd. my history was noted in my charts even before i became pregnant, and then i talked about it with the midwives many times during my pregnancy. they knew.

i felt "betrayed" because the midwives didn't show up, the doc didn't even care for me himself --- i felt like i was a "guinea pig" for the resident and that i wasn't respected as far as my comfort and psychological well-being were concerned. the OB basically said "congratulations" and ran out right after the resident was done stitching.

the midwives claimed they were never told that i was in labor, which means the OB and/or his office never told them, apparently.

this same doc later told me, when i reported pain during intercourse MONTHS later that was so bad that i didn't want to have sex (due to mirena, which i had problems with, and the 3rd degree tear) --- he acted like it was a joke and blew me off, stating that i was "fine" and that i just "need to have sex more" --- in front of my husband, who was pressuring me for sex all the time anyway.

side note, this OB had bugged me in the past (before i had the baby) to apply for a job with him, and when i finally did, interviewed, etc., he never even hired me :uhoh3:

i don't think he hired anyone for the position after all (i don't think he expanded) -- but still, why have me go to the trouble, bug me to apply, and then blow me off?

so is this behavior common to expect in the ob world?

i know some / most women wouldn't mind this, but it wasn't the care i wanted. i feel like i was ignored.

i really didn't want a resident, but what choice did i have when the midwives never showed up and the OB didn't show up until after i was already pushing and in no place of mind to protest anymore?

to me, having a 3rd degree tear, ppd, a very jaundiced baby on bili therapy and needing constant bilisticks, feeding issues, etc. ... almost killed me. succeeding in breastfeeding was so hard, but i did it on my own.

i had no family or friends to support me or come help out.

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med surg, oncology.

I don't know how normal your experience is but I can tell you that I had a resident deliver my third (and last) child who was 7 weeks early and he did an absolutely awesome job. The on call Dr showed up but didn't do anything either except watch the resident and then bill me for the delivery. My daughter was jaundiced as well and since she was so early the resident broke my water to hasten the delivery for the sake of sparing the preterm a long potentially stressful labor.

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Specializes in Nursing Ed, Ob/GYN, AD, LTC, Rehab.

Care varies GREATLY based on the OB and the office philoshpy. I work in OB/GYN and our docs only deliver our patients and are very hands on. I would get upset or anything. Just dont return if you didnt like the care and dont offer him up as a possible reference to expecting mothers. There are good ones out there!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Wow - your observations are right on!

As a student, you are in a perfect position to compare 'real versus ideal' but in this case, some of those practices seem very substandard (Im not an OB person).

The issues outlined in your very articulate post are the reasons I chose Nurse Midwives to deliver my kids (in a hospital)! Wonderful experiences - but I had to really search for a hospital that would go for the idea 30+ years ago.

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I would definitely say that that experience is not the norm. Personally, I would not go back to that physician, nor recommend him to anyone I knew. You could probably file a complaint but I'm not sure how much good that would do. I attended the delivery of a friend's baby and her physician did the actual delivery but had the resident stitch her up. The nurses were also very open to her desires for the birth.

I'm sorry you had such a poor experience.

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You need to find another OB/GYN pronto after being treated this way. If you don't feel cared for or safe with your doctor they need to go. Too many patients go back again and again when they shouldn't. It's your body and you have the right to be treated in a way you feel is appropriate and respectful.

Sounds like he just has horrible bedside manner right across the board. And if his midwives aren't being told (I believe them) when patients call then his office is an administrative nightmare as well. Run don't walk away.

Patients need to speak up more and let their money do the talking . If you don't think the resident is dealing with things well then tell the nurse and get the complaint started. I'm not sure how long ago this was but you could still file a complaint.

Telling a patient pain during sex requires more sex is ridiculous. I hope you find another GYN who is kind and compassionate. And if you are still having pain during sex pls stop having it and get a second opinion at once. Sorry you were treated poorly.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

This is not the way our OB-GYNs treat our patients. I always advise people to change care providers if they feel at all uncomfortable, if possible. This person sounds terrible, to me, if this is how the patients are treated. There is much better out there. You could try a CNM (certified nurse midwife) or Ob-GYN Nurse Practioner, too! There are some amazing ones out there.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I think this is behavior to expect in the WORLD not just OB. People are people everywhere. This guy sounds like a first class jerk.

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I am so sorry you had so much suffering, Caraway.

We were isolated from family, too, at the birth of our first 2 kids. It was very painful for both of us, but especially for my wife. Her mom came to help for the first week but when we put her on her return flight, my wife busted out in tears. I was very sad, too, to have to say goodbye. We just struggled through, though, and things gradually got better.

I think your experience is probably pretty typical, sad to say.

Please get a new doctor. This guy sounds less than desirable for you.

Again, I am very sorry for your suffering and hope you are soon feeling better.

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thank you everyone for your kind replies.

this was 3 years ago, but it still bothers me (especially since i am in my OB rotation for clinicals right now, and have to see this doc at the hospital).

i still continued to go to the old ob for a couple of years, because i wasn't sure if i was being "overly sensitive" and i was hesitant to try someone new, for fear it would be the same or worse.

luckily, i don't have pain during intercourse anymore. it was related to the healing 3rd degree tear and the mirena --- i had a lot of problems with it (excruciating pain, weeks of bleeding at a time for each period, etc.) and finally had it removed, although 2 exams and 2 ultrasounds said it should be "fine." ever since, i've been pain free!

i plan to go to an independent midwife (CPM or CNM) for any future children.

i also have a new OB that i may have to go to from time to time, because i have a history of abnormal paps and if i need follow ups (colposcopies/biopsies or treatment), my midwife doesn't do those.

the new OB seems okay, i guess.

PS i feel sort of sad/disappointed because i used to think i'd like to be a CNM or an L&D Nurse, but after these experiences, i was really turned off from it.

i'm accepted to work in a level III NICU when i graduate this spring.

i'm really hoping to get to do a lot with parent teaching and breastfeeding assistance.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

It sounds like a lot of unresolved pain plagues you. If this continues, you might want to seek the guidance and help from someone who specializes in birth trauma/negative birth experiences and talk with them. Your feels are so valid, but I hate for them to guide an entire career. I feel for you. And I do wish you all the best. Please don't let this stop you from living fully and enjoying a successful career.

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PS i feel sort of sad/disappointed because i used to think i'd like to be a CNM or an L&D Nurse, but after these experiences, i was really turned off from it.

You should only choose a path that makes you happy but I bet you would be a wonderful CNM or L&D nurse given your bad experiences. You would be a great patient advocate and really be able to help women have the birthing experience you didn't. See how you feel down the line but if this is your dream don't let this poor excuse of a doctor have any more power over you. He can't hurt you anymore. You will be more in control and more demonstrative with your next baby. Even though it was horrible and painful let it be a lesson learned not just for you but all those around you as well. :nuke:

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