Purpose of the counting of days....

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Specializes in OR.

In my ongoing “Great Big Job Hunt!!” as I like to call it, a piece of advice that I am getting is to wait until the end of the contract is nigh because then it won’t get in the way. The problem with that is that since I have public discipline (not going onto THAT bunny trail....) I will never have the luxury of the confidentially that they trumpet about. It will always be a specter. That being said, I have 183 days left and no notable restrictions left. I haven’t worked in 19 months. Waiting another 6, in my opinion will only put that much more between me and any recent experience. The stuff on my resume that I used to be so proud of is really only a distant memory now as it is. Anyone that is going to turn thier nose up at me because of the discipline will do it in 6 months as well as now. That’s not someone I’d want to work for anyway.

I had to explain that the point of the day count (besides it satisfying my slight tendency to obsess over things) is merely counting down to the end of (at least for me, I feel) pointless “check-ins”, humiliating P-tests, and the throwing of money into the void.

Ergo, one has nothing to do with the other....

So why does anyone else , if you do, count days. Also, if not, why.....

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I can't bring myself to count the days, YET. Probably because I know that I must successfully work at the first job I've had in 13 years for the next 15 mos ( already survived 3 mos ) for my release from IPN to even be a possibility. But, I know that time will come for me.

The hardest thing for me to tolerate is that this time feels like survival, instead of thriving. I've overcome so much, I wish I could just soar. But, I can't. I have to worry about these folks giving me decent 'reports' too. What if I piss off the wrong person by just being myself? It's entirely possible. I'm not for everybody, no one is. This is the part that so difficult:

1. convince someone to hire me with restrictions and stips

2. perform knowing coworkers resent giving out narcotics for me (can't blame them)

3. get along with everyone so I'll get a passing report ?

The last one is probably the hardest because I'm old and wore out! I have no time for ***. Hop to! It's what I do!

Ugh....

That being said, there will be about a 60 day period of time when I have finished with my mandatory 18 mos work and monitoring while working that I can count down! And I can't wait.

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Down to 5 months as of yesterday . Haven't started counting down by days yet but we'll do that when I've got 90 left.

It's so strange right now. I'm on step down. 36 days since the last drug test. I know they only have 5 left to throw at me.(step down is 18 in a year) so it feels so strange not having to worry about getting pulled to test so often.

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I did a countdown a few days after I started. It was like 700 days to go. Now I’m under just a year left. I don’t like to look at it too often because I’ll just get mad at how long I have left to throw my money away for something I didn’t do. Can’t wait to be able to go have an occasional drink just because I want to and I don’t even drink. It would be out of spite at this point. 360 days to go but who’s counting.

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Ive got so much longer left..I started in October and have a 3 year contract BUT i do know i only have 11 quarterly reports to go and that doesnt seem so bad!

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In going to start counting down in April, I'll be a couple weeks under a year then. I (like many I'm sure) can't wait to get off this treadmill

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