Public Breastfeeding

[MarySunshine]

In a discussion I had with my brother in law today (who is a future nurse!), I learned he is uncomfortable with public breastfeeding unless there is a blanket involved. I know some folks wouldn't even like it with a blanket! I strongly feel that, as nurses, we should be doing what we can to support and advocate for breastfeeding and shed it in a positive light. I couldn't believe that a health care professional would feel differently. Obviously, this is coming from the United States (sigh).

I'm someone that usually works to make people feel comfortable in situations, but if my baby needs to be fed and some guy doesn't like it, well then he doesn't have to look! My baby comes first. That's how I feel about it. Guys will say that we shouldn't expose our breasts because they are too sexual, then agree that breastfeeding isn't sexual, but still say that we should hide it.....I cannot follow the circular reasoning.

I want to raise sons who know that breasts, as sexually appealing as they may be to them when they are older, are made to feed babies. That a uterus carries babies and lady partss birth them. I believe that this gives men a truer, deeper respect for women and for all human beings ... our bodies are not just sex objects! I saw a funny T-shirt that said -- Breasts: Not just for selling cars anymore!

I wanted to see what other nurses thought about this, on a personal level as well as a public health level.

[LydiaNN]

And the "but BFing is NATURAL!" is a weak argument to me.

You keep quoting that comment when responding to me, but I wasn't one the one that made the comment, and it isn't central to my POV. My POV is that study after study shows that breast is best, and women shouldn't be sent to the restroom or their car or their homes just because for the briefest flash of time, a part of the breast will be exposed. What it comes down to is that in this country, we really have no inherent right to never be offended, so the onus to "get over it" falls to the offended.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

It is changing the topic a bit, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I think it might be a little bit beyond my comfort zone to have my child nurse from someone else but this isn't a very strange idea, really. If I remember correctly, way back in the day, the wealthy used to hire nursemaids to breastfeed their babies. :)

Yep, they are called "wetnurses". :)

Well, my daughter and my niece are the same age and one time my sister had to go into a social service office to fill out some paperwork. I sat in the car with the babies. Her daughter started crying, rooting around. I waited and waited and then just picked up my niece and nursed her. It wasn't weird at all.

I have a couple of acquaintences - one had to have surgery and both had infants. The one who had surgery left her baby with her friend for a couple of days and her friend breastfed the baby for her.

I really don't see this as anything other than a kindness.

steph

[LydiaNN]

Yep, they are called "wetnurses". :)

Well, my daughter and my niece are the same age and one time my sister had to go into a social service office to fill out some paperwork. I sat in the car with the babies. Her daughter started crying, rooting around. I waited and waited and then just picked up my niece and nursed her. It wasn't weird at all.

I have a couple of acquaintences - one had to have surgery and both had infants. The one who had surgery left her baby with her friend for a couple of days and her friend breastfed the baby for her.

I really don't see this as anything other than a kindness.

steph

There is also a condition in which children can only digest breast milk, and nursing mothers donate their excess to the cause.

[lisamc1RN, LPN]

Yep, they are called "wetnurses". :)

Well, my daughter and my niece are the same age and one time my sister had to go into a social service office to fill out some paperwork. I sat in the car with the babies. Her daughter started crying, rooting around. I waited and waited and then just picked up my niece and nursed her. It wasn't weird at all.

I have a couple of acquaintences - one had to have surgery and both had infants. The one who had surgery left her baby with her friend for a couple of days and her friend breastfed the baby for her.

I really don't see this as anything other than a kindness.

steph

Wetnurses. That's the word I was looking for! Thanks, Steph. :)

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

There is also a condition in which children can only digest breast milk, and nursing mothers donate their excess to the cause.

Yep, there are breastmilk banks available - I considered donating milk at one time.

Ok - y'all are making me nostalgic for nursing my son and I only stopped 6 months ago. I may have to hire out as a wetnurse.:chuckle

steph

[Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP]

The whole idea of breastfeeding someone else's baby is pretty gross to me. It's a personal thing between a mother and baby and the thought of a third person taking over that act is weird.

I could never imagine EVER breastfeeding a baby, and never will, but I guess I don't have a problem with it if done discreetly in public by a mother. Personally if I'd paid for a nice meal and was having a quite romantic moment over dinner I don't think I'd appreciate it if the woman at the next table decided to breastfeed, but I suppose we all have to learn to co-exist and I certainly wouldn't say anything to her, I'd just look away.

However, something mentioned earlier in the thread really disturbs me, and that's the discussion of 3, 4 and 5 year olds breastfeeding. Babes-in-arms is one thing, but walking talking toddlers is another. That is just really weird and not natural. I know absolutely nothing about babies....never had one, don't know anyone who owns one, but I did always think that a baby was weaned onto solid food at a certain age. Something about that image of a breastfeeding toddler playing with and kneading his mother's breasts is really disturbing. How old is too old?

[Q.]

Yep, there are breastmilk banks available - I considered donating milk at one time.

I think breast milk banks (where breast milk is screened BTW) and a stranger breastfeeding a 2 year old who doesn't rely on BM for nutrition are two distinctly different scenarios.

[Q.]

You keep quoting that comment when responding to me, but I wasn't one the one that made the comment, and it isn't central to my POV. My POV is that study after study shows that breast is best, and women shouldn't be sent to the restroom or their car or their homes just because for the briefest flash of time, a part of the breast will be exposed. What it comes down to is that in this country, we really have no inherent right to never be offended, so the onus to "get over it" falls to the offended.

I know your POV.

My comment about the "natural" defense comes up in relation to you because I'm responding to your statement that you don't understand the urination argument. I use the urination argument to demonstrate that the defense "BFing is NATURAL" isn't a good one at all. Again, as evidenced by many natural things being unacceptable in public.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Breastfeeding would be "normal" (as well as "natural), if we allowed it to be. It's time for us to grow up about these things. We are hypocrites. We tolerate Hooter's and R-rated trashy music and movies and on the other hand, can't handle a woman feeding her child in the healthiesst way possible. Ridiculous.

[LydiaNN]

I know your POV.

My comment about the "natural" defense comes up in relation to you because I'm responding to your statement that you don't understand the urination argument. I use the urination argument to demonstrate that the defense "BFing is NATURAL" isn't a good one at all. Again, as evidenced by many natural things being unacceptable in public.

If there are so "many" natural things that aren't acceptable in public, personally I would choose a better analogy than urination, to illustrate my point. And to say "I don't understand" your analogy was actually a polite way of saying I consider it invalid. You chose an example of something that is expressly forbidden by local ordinance in probably every jurisidiction in this country. Not because it's "natural"; because it is a health hazard (and let's not revisit why, shall we?) In contrast, many communities have laws on the books that expressly GRANT the right to breastfeed in public to mothers. So yes, perhaps there are natural things that aren't acceptable in public. And unnatural things, too. That really isn't a deciding factor in my mind.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

The whole idea of breastfeeding someone else's baby is pretty gross to me. It's a personal thing between a mother and baby and the thought of a third person taking over that act is weird.

I could never imagine EVER breastfeeding a baby, and never will, but I guess I don't have a problem with it if done discreetly in public by a mother. Personally if I'd paid for a nice meal and was having a quite romantic moment over dinner I don't think I'd appreciate it if the woman at the next table decided to breastfeed, but I suppose we all have to learn to co-exist and I certainly wouldn't say anything to her, I'd just look away.

However, something mentioned earlier in the thread really disturbs me, and that's the discussion of 3, 4 and 5 year olds breastfeeding. Babes-in-arms is one thing, but walking talking toddlers is another. That is just really weird and not natural. I know absolutely nothing about babies....never had one, don't know anyone who owns one, but I did always think that a baby was weaned onto solid food at a certain age. Something about that image of a breastfeeding toddler playing with and kneading his mother's breasts is really disturbing. How old is too old?

To each their own - no one would ever try to force you to breastfeed your own child, much less someone elses.

However, when I nursed my niece and when those friends decided that in order to keep a baby nursing while mommy was having surgery the other friend would nurse the baby for her, this is not gross. It was a kindness and a loving thing to do.

We just aren't used to thinking this way. But really, wetnurses were common.

I did nothing gross. I refuse to accept that characterization of what I did for my niece.

I also nursed my kids into toddlerhood. Not gross either.

steph

[LydiaNN]

How old is too old?

I have no idea, but that's fine, since it isn't my call to make. Or your's.