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Pt's wife just snapped at me

Private Duty   (488 Views | 8 Replies)

Orion81RN has 7 years experience .

9,489 Profile Views; 910 Posts

I've developed a bad habit of ordering McDonald's at work. I crave coffee and end up ordering it bc I can't get myself up earlier to make coffee at home. I asked my patient's wife if it was ok to order. She said no problem. She just went off on me. I ordered McDonald's and she said, "You know, I really don't appreciate you ordering food. You're the only one who does it. And its always Macdonald's." Then she went on to complain about my sitting at the nurse's table in the dining room. Why do I always get crazy families?

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5 Followers; 37,419 Posts; 100,352 Profile Views

Well at least she spoke her mind. It would have been nicer had she said no the first time. In my experience, when they start getting this overt, time to start looking for new pastures. Probably a matter of time before the last straw with her. 

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Kitiger has 40 years experience as a RN and specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

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If you stay on, you should have at least one other client. When she suddenly decides it's the last straw, you want to have another case where you can still get hours.

Plus, it would be nice to have at least some days in a calmer atmosphere.

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Elektra6 has 15 years experience as a ASN, BSN, RN and specializes in Home Health, LTC, subacute.

542 Posts; 11,465 Profile Views

I just LOVE how you are not supposed to eat in their (dirty and gross) house because it makes a mess, LOL.  I have found that nobody wants you to eat in their house and if you do, they will complain about you using the fridge, microwave, crumbs, making noise etc. 🤷🏻‍♀️I mostly starve.

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Kitiger has 40 years experience as a RN and specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

1 Follower; 1,010 Posts; 19,255 Profile Views

I bring Glucerna and fruit. I can easily and comfortably drink a bottle of Glucerna in a minute or two. I used to bring microwave dinners, depending on the home. (Not fish; that's too strong a smell.) I don't use their fridge. I do use the microwave to heat up water for coffee.

I learned to make sure the microwave was clean; one time, I had a big blob of grease fall in into my cup of water. :no:

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1,180 Posts; 9,632 Profile Views

Although my current case is OK with me using their fridge, microwave etc - I choose not too. In the past with other families I had the same complaint as others - houses were a pig pens yet it was implied many times that myself and the other nurses were the ones who made the messes - left food messes in the microwave, dishes in the sink etc etc.  

I pack quick, easy to eat food, bring a couple of bottles of water/drinks, bring my own hot coffee in a thermos - my patient's dad always laughs when he see's my thermos - it was my dad's from the 70-80's - one of those heavy Stanley ones - keeps the coffee hot all day, better than a Yeti 🙂   The one time I did bring a salad and put in their fridge, the families teenage son ate it by accident.  

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5 Followers; 37,419 Posts; 100,352 Profile Views

After the second or third time that a family complained about me doing or not doing something they had expressly told me to do or not do with their blessing, I learned to stay out of their living "space" as much as possible.  Don't have the abilities to correctly determine at day one who is going to take their neuroses out on me or not.  Just try to limit their opportunities.  My life experience apparently was limited in that regard up to the point I started in home health.  Could not even begin to fathom why someone would tell me I could do something, and then go behind my back to tell my employer I did that and lie about giving me the go ahead.  Still can't figure it out.     

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nursel56 has 25+ years experience and specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

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On 2/23/2020 at 2:14 PM, Orion81RN said:

I've developed a bad habit of ordering McDonald's at work. I crave coffee and end up ordering it bc I can't get myself up earlier to make coffee at home. I asked my patient's wife if it was OK to order. She said no problem. She just went off on me. I ordered McDonald's and she said, "You know, I really don't appreciate you ordering food. You're the only one who does it. And its always Macdonald's." Then she went on to complain about my sitting at the nurse's table in the dining room. Why do I always get crazy families?

Sometimes they're only temporarily crazy. I recall an incident that occurred with a patient's mother. I had been working there for a quite a while, gotten along fine. 

For reasons I still don't know, she started to rant about useless nurses who refuse to scrub the kitchen floor, and how we're lazy and think we're all that. The thing is, it had been explained over and over what skilled nursing vs caregiver hours are for.

As she seemed to be ranting about nurses in general, and I was the one who happened to be there at that time. It only happened once, though. I tried not to take it too personally, but yeah it was upsetting to hear.

 

 

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Orion81RN has 7 years experience.

910 Posts; 9,489 Profile Views

4 hours ago, nursel56 said:

Sometimes they're only temporarily crazy. I recall an incident that occurred with a patient's mother. I had been working there for a quite a while, gotten along fine. 

For reasons I still don't know, she started to rant about useless nurses who refuse to scrub the kitchen floor, and how we're lazy and think we're all that. The thing is, it had been explained over and over what skilled nursing vs caregiver hours are for.

As she seemed to be ranting about nurses in general, and I was the one who happened to be there at that time. It only happened once, though. I tried not to take it too personally, but yeah it was upsetting to hear.

 

 

Crazy. Unfortunately, I've been here 1.5 years and she's just absolutely nuts. She literally just wants her husband to die. She tells us nurses with the biggest huff and nastiest tone, "I don't understand why you nurses can't convince him he won't get better and just go off the ventilator." I know the word narcissistic is thrown around too easily, but I'd bet my paycheck she has a severe personality disorder. I've met nasty, rude people. Selfish people. Very self centered people. This is a whole different level. I have never once sensed empathy from her. I do my best to stay away from her, but it can also be hell staying in my patient's room too. (She doesn't even allow him out of his room.) 

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