I've been an RN for 2 years and a NICU nurse for 1 1/2 years. I received an excellent orientation at a large teaching hospital where I worked for the first year, and I felt confident of my skills. I worked in Level II and Level III. When I switched to night shift, my commute became 2 hours each way, and I had to find something closer to home. I accepted a day position in a smaller community NICU closer to home, and although the commute was better, the facility has been a nightmare from day one. I was given a month orientation with five different preceptors, and most of them were completely disinterested and barely talked to me. I had to finally go to my director to get them to fill out the necessary paperwork, because they would just ignore me. There were so many bad signs this was a bad unit, but I was trying to make it work. I wanted to resign after three weeks, and they convinced me to stay. I've been there six months now and I've lost all my confidence. Most of the time on the unit the nurses speak in another language to each other and I feel really alienated. I feel completely terrified to go into work, because I have to rely on them and most the time I can't understand what they are saying. The charting is awful and doesn't work half the time, the unit is completely disorganized, and the acuity level is insane because we do all the births for the Children's Hospital next door. I'm terrified to do even one more shift. How do I bow out gracefully? I am seriously considering leaving the bedside because of this experience. I love my patients, but if I accept a job at another facility, I'll be back on nights, which was really traumatic for my young daughter. The stress of this job is taking over my entire life and hurting my family. I'm sad to leave the NICU and my babies, but I can't stand this sort of hell anymore. Anyone been through this sort of thing?