Sometimes preceptors views are different from yours, no need to question yourself. My preceptor was horrible, so much so I had to ask to be switched half way in my training. Afterwards I found out I was the 4th person who asked to switch from her. So if you don't feel the same way, no biggie. However as far as ethics are concerned, they play a huge role in the NICU. Here are some examples I have had...
1. Baby born with omphalocele, now has trach, frequent infections, bilateral grade 4 w/ PVL, seizures, desats to 20's every other hour. Saw doctor walk in and tell parents "Your baby is fine, he's going to walk, talk, and be completely normal." Parents turn to you....Will my baby really be okay? What do tell them?
2. 19 week gestation baby, doctor says your baby is doing well to teenage mom. Mom asks you why babies legs are turning black and if they'll be able to fix them? What can you say knowing that the doctor should have never even put the poor mother through this. A 19 weeker? I dont even know how he intubated.
3. 23 week gestation, kidney failure among everything else going on. Baby has swollen so much, stool is now bursting from it's umbellicus to the point we had to put a ostomy bag on it. Mother doesn't come to see the baby says it's too sad to see. It's your turn to take report and you have this child. You feel guilty moving the poor thing, you wonder why ethics committee is doing nothing. I wanted to refuse this child, but then you run the risk of being fired. Mentally you want to call the mom and say "Get in here and end the suffering!!!!" but again you get fired and lose your license.
I came from MBU, GYN, Lev 1 NICU and believe me, I never faced such ethical issues like these anywhere but the NICU. I find one of the best ways for me to deal with situations like these is refering the parents to speak with a doctor who you know will be truthfull in a nice way like... "Doctor XYZ knows alot about long term outcomes with children who suffer from XYZ, I would suggest speaking to him/her." And if it's a situation I can't explain or give off to the doc, I simply do the best I can as a nurse for the child and pray. But sometimes you will still have ethical dilemas and have to live with them. I dont think I will ever forget these children.