Thanks to all who responded.
This has been VERY tough. I think the toughest part is that I felt I had finally found my purpose in life. Sounds dramatic, I know, but after 9-11 I really started to question why I was here, like many my age did. Suddenly the corner office didn't mean a thing. I wasn't even sure about nursing school and questioned my sanity frequently while I was there. But once I started working with these patients, it was a feeling I can't put into words. I found such grace and courage in them. Their faith in a high power even moved me to question why I had strayed so far from my own religion. I felt honored to be with them as they faced their journey and for some of them, their final moments. With them, I believed I would become a better person and grow to have a purposeful life.
And now, I don't know what to think. I'm emotionally exhausted. I had a pretty tough childhood and first marriage, and my self esteem has always been pretty shakey. This has just about put me over the edge. I've gone back to seeing a therapist to save my poor husband from having to take the brunt of this (men really do have a hard time with emotions - can't fix it and they become SOOOO frustrated). I'm going to take some time off, take care of some family issues and get my act back together. If you include work & school, it's been nearly 25 years since I've done "nothing".
My question to you is this - When I'm ready to climb back on that very big, scary horse, how do I explain that I graduated in December, passed my boards in January, started a job in February, left in May, and took several months off before going back? Failing at my first job doesn't instill confidence in my abilities, needing a break sounds lazy, having a meltdown says "don't touch with a 10 foot pole". Aside from moving and using that as an excuse, any ideas?