Say Goodbye to My Dream Job - Now What?

Nurses New Nurse

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I just found out yesterday that I'm not going to be asked to stay at what I considered to be my dream job. I graduated in December (2nd career) after somewhat of a struggle, passed my boards in January and started orientation the first part of February at an Oncology clinic.

I LOVED everything about the place - patients, staff, schedule, everything. I could handle the tough emotional situation. What I couldn't do is memorize all the different regimens, drug side effects, etc.

There were two of us that started at the same time - there's a 20 year age difference. This old brain just isn't as nimble as it once was, and she just could ramble off the facts like nobody's business.

They told me that I had people skills that outweighed anyone there, including the old-timers, but my technical skills weren't good enough for their needs. They were very nice, offered to let me work out the next two weeks and promised to give me great references.

What am I feeling now? - depressed, humiliated, guilty, the list goes on and on. I feel like I should have spent every night studying instead of tending to my family. I ignored them for so long during school, I thought I was finally past that. The more I began to feel pressured about it not clicking at work, the less sleep I was getting, the worse my memory became....downward spiral.

I don't know how I can ever even apply for another job - I feel like such a failure. Has anyone else had to get back on the horse after being thrown so hard?

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You are NOT a failure! You graduated nursing school and passed your boards all while taking care of yourself and your family.

Do not feel bad for spending time with your family. When it's all said and down, they are what matters most.

This was just your first dream (job). The heaven's will send you another dream even GREATER than the first.

Good fortune

Sunny~~~

((((hugs))))

~~~

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This was just your first dream (job). The heaven's will send you another dream even GREATER than the first.

Exactly!! There are so many fields in nursing, you will find something else that is totally fulfilling - I know you will!! What an accomplishment to get through school while taking care of your family - you should be very proud of yourself, and I bet they are too. Failure is the farthest thing from the truth. Hang in there. You might find that your next opportunity is really the one you've been waiting for. God never closes a door without opening a window. Hugs to you!

:icon_hug: ;)

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I've been there. Over the course of my 28-year career, I've had a few jobs that didn't work out for one reason or another. And yes, you have to get back on that horse and try again. It's difficult, but that's what you have to do.

I recommend that you do a serious assessment of your interests, strengths, and weaknesses before you choose your next job. It sounds like you have already started that process in that you realize that you did not master the technical skills and some of the factual information quickly enough for your employer. Be sure to choose your next job with that in mind. Look for a job in which there may not be as much new information to master and/or one that has a long, supportive orientation program for new graduates. Making that transition from student to staff nurse can be difficult -- and you need to plan that transitional experience to give yourself the best possible chance of success.

Was there a clinical site that you seemed to "fit well" into while you were in school -- one in which you already have a baseline of familiarity and skills? That might be a good place to start your career. Then, after you have successfully made that transition to practicing professional, you could branch out to a new area in which you would have to learn new skills and information.

Forgive me for being bit nosey ... but ... Does your clinic frequently hire new grads? If not, that may have been a big part of the problem. It's common for new grads to struggle a bit with that transition and sometimes need extra help and extra time to make that transition. That's why many clinics try to hire experienced nurses only. Because they don't have the volume of new hires that a hospital unit has, they don't have the programs in place that new grads need. Was that a part of the situation in your case? If so, that would be important for you to recognize.

Good luck to you ... from someone who has recovered from a few "failures" in her life -- but who has managed to land on her feet more than once.

llg

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Specializes in LDRP.

have you considered an oncology unit of a local hospital? having worked at an oncology clinic would be good for that, you could hone your skills they think you lacked and go back later to said dream job if you want to

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Thanks to all who responded.

This has been VERY tough. I think the toughest part is that I felt I had finally found my purpose in life. Sounds dramatic, I know, but after 9-11 I really started to question why I was here, like many my age did. Suddenly the corner office didn't mean a thing. I wasn't even sure about nursing school and questioned my sanity frequently while I was there. But once I started working with these patients, it was a feeling I can't put into words. I found such grace and courage in them. Their faith in a high power even moved me to question why I had strayed so far from my own religion. I felt honored to be with them as they faced their journey and for some of them, their final moments. With them, I believed I would become a better person and grow to have a purposeful life.

And now, I don't know what to think. I'm emotionally exhausted. I had a pretty tough childhood and first marriage, and my self esteem has always been pretty shakey. This has just about put me over the edge. I've gone back to seeing a therapist to save my poor husband from having to take the brunt of this (men really do have a hard time with emotions - can't fix it and they become SOOOO frustrated). I'm going to take some time off, take care of some family issues and get my act back together. If you include work & school, it's been nearly 25 years since I've done "nothing".

My question to you is this - When I'm ready to climb back on that very big, scary horse, how do I explain that I graduated in December, passed my boards in January, started a job in February, left in May, and took several months off before going back? Failing at my first job doesn't instill confidence in my abilities, needing a break sounds lazy, having a meltdown says "don't touch with a 10 foot pole". Aside from moving and using that as an excuse, any ideas?

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Just Remember That In A Future Job Interview You Do Not Have To Tell Every Detail And You Don't Owe Some Big Explanation Either...use Those Job Interviewing Skills Where You Maximize Your Qualities And Don't Linger Over The Things That You Are Currently Working On. Ask A Good Friend/mentor To Role Play An Interview With You Can Help You Set Yourself Up For Success With The Feed Back You Need To Sell Yourself.

It Is Ok To Feel Some Ptsd After Nursing School And Boards. I Asked Everyone Of My Fellow Students If They Had Ever Had Times During School When They Cried And Felt Soooo Overwhelmed Everyone Of My Class Mates Except 2 Said Yes. One Was A Guy Who Is Pretty Self-contained And The Other Is A Guy Who Said That Although He Never Cried He Did Have A Couple Of Days When He Felt The Anxiety Trying To Jump Out Of His Chest.

Focus On The Attributes You Have To Offer And All The Reasons You Have Chosen Nursing As Your Career And Step Forward Each Day, Don't Go Back And Keep Beating Yourself Up Over The Past Job, Hey I Know You Had To Have Learned A Lot While You Were There That You Can Take With You It Wasn't A Loss!!!

Keeping You In My Prayers

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Specializes in critical care; community health; psych.

You are taking some time off? You don't have to figure everything out today. After all, isn't that what therapy is for? Right now your mirror is too distorted to come up with answers to questions best left for a later day. Seeing yourself as a failure won't help. Besides, you weren't firmly planted in that saddle to begin with. You're brand new at your nursing role. The oncology position may not have been for you but that doesn't mean that nursing is not for you. The dream isn't dead. It just needs some fine tuning and you need to step back and take a deep breath.

Take it from an over the hill December grad, I understand the pressures of being new at the job and gray haired. There are a lot of preconceived notions. Well, we've got an advantage over the younger ones. We've got life experience. Nothing scares us cuz we've seen it all. You can do this.

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Hey, I admire you for being a nurse. I am a pre-nursing student and biting my nails while signing up for A&P I. Please try not to feel like a failure. You made it through nursing school, and I am sure it was difficult. You are a success. I am interested in oncology as well. Even though that is the area of nursing I would like to devote myself to, I am open to other areas of nursing. Take care of yourself. Remember that feeling you had when you just found out you passed and got your license. You accomplished alot. You will find another position. You are a nurse, something to be proud of.

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I am in school now waiting to get into a nursing program. Like you this is a second career for me. I was very touched by reading your post and felt compelled to write to you. My mother died of lung cancer a couple of years ago and like you I asked myself, " Why am I here", the answer came loud and clear one night while sitting beside my mother's bed...You were put here to be a nurse and care for others.

I do believe it is important to know as much of the technical end of nursing as possible. I have gotten a 4.0 in all of my classes but even I understand that is not all that makes a good nurse great.

When I hear people talk about a nurse that they had in the hospital, or other health care facility they hardly ever say, " She was really smart", " She knew all of the drug interactions", " She could rattle off all of the answers to technical questions". What I have heard from people is," She was so caring and warm", " She was so wonderful, she took the time to talk to me," " I felt like she really cared." By your description of yourself I would imagine that a lot of the patients you cared for said many of these wonderful things about you..

I do not have a crystal ball and I can not tell you waht to do but my advice would be to use the wonderful warm communicating way you have to your advantage. If I were you I would probably go into Hospice or Home Health Care where your strengths are appreciated. The nursing field is lucky to have you and I hope you find that special place that is perfect for you.:nurse:

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