I have just started in my hospital's CCU and I'm really struggling if this is for me. Before I ever started nursing school I wanted to work in the NICU, every time I thought about it or even got close to the ICU it made me so excited. I've always had the mindset of ICU nursing is "real nursing" (I know it's not actually) and I need to care for the sickest patients. My goal has been NICU from the start but now I'm not so sure.
I worked Med/surg for a year and now after only 8 weeks of orientation on CCU I feel ready to quit. My confidence has never been lower and my stress levels have never been higher. I feel incredibly inadequate and my managers are recognizing this as well and I can tell they are worried for me to be off orientation in anther 8 weeks. They have already asked me to back off for a few shifts and just follow my preceptor rather than taking both patients after I had a "delay in care" event with a vent.
I understand this is a really short time and I know I need to give it longer but I feel so lost. Prior to applying for this CCU position I was really considering leaving bedside and going outpatient-the thought of possibly having a dayshift schedule with limited weekends and holidays, while working a less stressful job sounds so awesome to me; plus my husband and I are hoping to have kids next year and I want to be home more often. (My current position is part-time for this reason.) Of course if I go this route I would abandon my dream of NICU, because I feel if I can't handle an adult ICU then NICU is out of the question.
I'm going to give it at least until the end of orientation but I am so scared and I just feel like there's absolutely no way I am able to know all of this information to keep my patients safe. I'm not sure if the stress is worth it.
ICU/CCU/NICU nurses - is it worth it? Should I force myself to push through? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Am I freaking out over nothing?
Outpatient nurses - is the grass actually greener over there?