I am in my second semester of a 4-semester ABSN. I have a passion for midwifery. Like Ina may gaskin midwifery. I feel drawn to this field, I believe going through the transition of motherhood si sacred and I want to help women along the way. But I have a fundamental belief that is making me question a lot... I believe if you started with a specific midwife while pregnant, that should be the midwife you give birth to your child with. My problem is, I want to have kids of my own in the last 10 years and I fear that if I have to leave for a birth on a special occasion, my child's birthday, Christmas morning etc, that it will negatively impact my own children. Will I be giving them a less than ideal childhood if I'm not there on Christmas morning? My partner has suggested I do more mainstream midwifery when my children are small, but I find that holistic homebirths and making a strong connection with one midwife is much more important to me, I don't like the idea of having my own shift and then not helping a woman give birth that I've seen for 9 months because I'm not on shift when she goes into labor (as it is in some team lead birthing centers or hospitals). Any thoughts? Do you think missing Christmas morning for a birth will negatively impact my future relationship with my kids? Should I choose a different career because of it, or is that something I could adapt to and still give me kids a loving childhood?