hi everyone. i was hoping for some perspective regarding and issue that has caused me so much stress over the past couple of weeks.
im a new grad struggling to find employment, as im sure most new grads are currently experiencing. i attended a private school a private school for 5 years. why 5 years? nursing programs are extremely impacted in california so i was waitlisted. while yes..you have a choice in which schools to attend due to the impactedness of nursing you almost go where you are accepted. to keep my spot open i had to take courses at this private school. i kept it to a minimum and took only the classes i needed to at the school while waiting to start the program (i also worked part time). i was waitlisted for 2 years and did not require full attendance, however, i was expected to take a few classes to be kept on the waitlist. when i started the program 2 years later thats when i quit my job. i come from a middle class family in which my parents didnt make the best decisions financially so i was left to pay for school on my own. federal loans weren't enough to cover the cost of tuition so i took out private school loans. since i quit my job i took out enough to cover rent, cost of books, clinical fee, food, and gas (i travel all over for clinicals sometimes crossing 4 different bridges in which it costs more than $3 each bridge). i did not live lavishly and took out bare minimum just to survive and get through school. in the end i racked up 80k without the interest. while 80K is alot of money the yearly cost to attend my university is $32,360. i also had a scholarship of 7500 that is divided into 2 semesters. so as you can see i did not take money out recklessly. my private school loans was offered at an 8% variable rate due to my good credit. i factored my payments after school. i lived frugally like a student. i sacrificed just to put myself through nursing school. my grace period has ended. sallie mae is asking for close to $1200 of which i cannot afford! i am actively seeking employment in any field (receptionist, caregiver) but no one seems to be hiring. im willing to relocate as nurse.. do anything for experience so i can pay off my loans..if only to be given a chance!
im am deeply depressed about my financial issue. its not that i dont want to pay.. believe me i want to start paying right away! its just that i dont have the money to do so.
ive done extensive research on this matter & disheartened that theirs not many consumer rights offered with private loans compared to federal. no income based consideration. ive talked to army recruiters about the army nurse corpse (impacted as well with that now having a waitlist. 50 were chosen this year alone due to meeting quota). looked into public health nursing (requires experience and im only a new grad). it seems that forebearance is an option but overrall im sinking deeper and deeper into depression. interest will accrue with forebearance, even if i pay how much will first go towards interest and not the principal amount, therefore i just feel like im in this cycle that i cant seem to get out of. i dont expect my education to be free and understood the commitment of years of paying after school but what i did not expect was wages garnished..tax refund witheld.. etc etc. i am so extremely fearful thats its paralyzed me emotionally. moreover, im a new grad.. how soon will i find a job? its just hard for anyone to give us a chance.
i sacrificed to change the quality of my life but im almost regretful on days where i can seem to get out of bed. before doors could open they may close. am i the only one going through this? i feel so hopeless.. so powerless.. so worthless!!
