Priorities Clash, Need Advice

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Hi everyone :) I have some questions that are really important to me, and some of you on this board could probably be a huge help. I've done a lot of research, but I've had a hard time finding the information that I need.

To sum it up...I'm 21 yrs old & on track to graduate with my BSN in 2 years. The two most important things in my life - family and career - clash.

My heart is set on military nursing, but my family is strongly against it. Not to make my family sound harsh or evil, they're great. We've always been very close. They support me in everything that I do, just not this. About a year ago I finally gave up on military nursing. I decided that I can't go through with it without their support.

As you can see, my family is very important to me. But after a year of trying to ignore it, I'm realizing that the desire is still there and just as strong as before. It's the only thing that I really want to do right now in my life. Anyways...its something that I'm looking into again. I still have some time to decide on what I want in my life.

For anyone that can help me... Do you think that joining the Reserves would allow me to do what my heart's set on + keep my family semi-happy?

OR what about working as a civilian nurse in a military hospital? Does anyone have any advice or input about that?

I would love any advice that you have!

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

By family, do you mean parents, aunts/uncles or do you mean spouse and children?

Two different sets of expectations.

If parents, extended family - hey you're 21 do what you want.

If however, its spouse and children - you must take their needs/wants into consideration.

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You need to differentiate between your family supporting you and supporting your decision. If your family truly cares and loves you, then they will support you in any choice you make for your future, even if they disagree with the path you choose.

In the end only you will live the life you make for yourself, so only you can make the decision as to which path to walk... welcome to adulthood :)

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by family I mainly mean my parents and siblings.

My grandpa fought in the army & it created a lot of problems mentally for him. My dad can't get passed that.

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If youre still two years out from graduating, keep your priorities straight and focus on becoming a nurse first. Besides, if your not already in ROTC, the foreseeable future says youll need some experience before becoming a direct commission.

As another point: the ability to stand on your own two feet and make decisions independently is a hallmark of an officer.

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Thank you for the responses.

Cursed Irishman, I hear that becoming a military nurse is a long process. Maybe I am wrong, but I think it’s best to research early so that when the time comes to decide, I know exactly what I want to do. My priorities are very much in line right now, and they always have been.

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I think what Cursed Irishman is saying is that is getting very hard to get into military nursing now unless you are an experienced nurse, so getting through Nursing school should be your main focus. That is not to say that you should not begin your research, but you have some time to work out the details...stay focused on school.

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Asking for advice, as noted in your thread title, is not the same as "doing research".

If youre dead-set on joining the military, join ROTC now.

That's my "advice".

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

It seems you have a pretty easy choice: join, or don't join. Sorry, I don't mean to sound flip, but I'm not sure what other advice anyone can have for you. I'm not particularly close to my family, so it's easy for me to say this, but it's your life -- no one else can live it, and you need to make it be what YOU want it to be.

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yuppers, time to put on your big girl panties and make decisions for yourself and not your family. Sooner or later we have to leave the nest and decide what is best for ourself.. Once you get to that point you can do anything!!! Good luck>

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Specializes in Emergency RN, CEN.

If by family you mean your spouse, then you cannot have a successful military career without that support. I have been an Army Officer for three years, I could not do it without my wife's support. She has not always agreed with the Army, and she may not like seeing me leave home, but she supports me and my decision to serve. As long as we remain married and I chose to remain in the service, I will not do it without her support.

However, if by family you mean parents, and your family is as close as it sounds, then you parents will love your no matter what decision you make. They should overcome whatever personal biases they have against the military and support your life decisions as an independent free thinking adult. They may not like them, but you are thier child, and they need to support you. After all, It is your career and your life and you are an adult. I realize you more than likely posess a strong desire to make your parents proud and do not wish to dissappoint them, but the decision to serve is a personal descision. You will wear the uniform, not your parents. If this is something that you are that passionate about then it is your parents who need to rexamine their stand and it is they that should feel shame for not supporting your happiness and assisting you in fullfilling your dreams.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I'm a vet from over 30 years ago.

I graduated from a private high school, had great grades, went straight into nursing school. At the beginning of my last semester of nursing school, I realized that I absolutely hated nursing. So....one day, I went to the recruiter's office and joined up - I left for basic the following week. Absolutely loved the Navy, travelled, met my now-husband, had two great kids and loved it.

I was 19 when I joined and I don't regret it. I was very close to my parents but at 19 I was an adult and did what I wanted. They were both vets from WWII and supported my decision.

However, my parents would have supported any decision I made because they loved me.

In the end, it is your decision - don't let your parents influence you too much - after all its your life.

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