Pregnant New Grad needs advice

[newmomRN]

So need some help here..

.....graduated NS, waiting to take boards, landed a job, nights (I am less than thrilled about that, but it was all I could get). I still have my old job, a pool non nursing position at a local hospital. I haven't quit that one yet, I was thinking of keeping it "just in case" the RN position didn't work out or nights didn't treat me well, since I have never worked nights (again NOT looking forward to that:lol2: ). In true new grad fashion, I have been experiencing overwhemling anxiety r/t beginning my new career and switching to nights, and I know some of this is normal. Now today, found out I am PG, my first PG. I have benefits under my husband, I don't need to work full time for us to pay bills, so we could survive on my pool position. Also, my new job won't offer my maternity leave that soon so my job won't be secured if I decide to take time off. I just began general orientation last week and am scheduled for my first day on the unit next Wed, so total days employed is 4 so far.

So....what to do? I am already max stressed, not looking forward to a night position AND dealing with 1st tri probs. Also...need to focus on passing boards, so I'll have that stress too for now. Still have my other job, can work as many or as little hours as I want, when I want. I know as long as I pass NCLEX and get my license that I will be OK to postpone working as an RN till after the baby is born. Would that be bad? Would employers look down on me for that? I worry that I would lose all my knowlege.. But how horrible would it be to go to my manager in my new job and tell her about the PG, aplogize, and decline the position now? In my mind, better to be strait up and tell her before she begins orienting me than be secretive and misleading? I would want time off around when the baby comes and I won't have maternity leave yet... My fear is just that I'll begin working, have to quit my old job, be totally stressed, not be sleeping, and then get sick or have comps of PG, and have to take time off, etc.....should I just stay with my same old, same old for now?? If I am strait up with my manager, do you think I would be eligible for rehire? Seems like they would want me to quit sooner rather than later, right? I may be moving out of state within the next few years anyway so to be honest I don't even know if I need to keep that hospital as a future option..

There have been other threads about this exact situation but the others either had to work full time or did not have bennies. Not the case with me so your advice may be different.... Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated! (especially all you nurse managers..how would YOU feel?!)

jo jo

[newmomRN]

Hi all,

Well, I royally messed up here!

In a stressed panic, I quit my job after a little over one month (they weren't too happy, but OK). Three weeks later I found out I miscarried my baby at 12 weeks.

Now I am jobless (I am employed but it is not in nursing) and feel stupid for putting all my eggs in one basket. I realize now that quitting was dumb and it was a very implusive decision.

Now I have issues because I have done this before. When I was in school I got an extern job that didn't suit me, I didn't really like it but then one of my family members got ill (and died eventually) and I got super stressed. Then I just couldn't handle the job on top of my other part time job. I quit via interfacility EMAIL (I worked another job there). I know that was super bad but I just couldn't face my manager, couldn't tell him I wasn't happy (or so I thought at the time) and super stressed. Same thing with this job I posted about. I just FREAKED OUT. On a larger scale, of course, lol. It is like I go into panic mode and get tunnel vision or something. Like my anxiety gets so high and then I can't deal with reality anymore... Being pregnant SEEMED like a good excuse to quit (or so I thought-not so much now, eh?) but I guess it wasn't the reason, it just sounded good to me, a justification. This is either an emotional problem with me or it is just that nursing is too stressful of a field for me and my personality.

But now that I am no longer pregnant I feel stupid not getting out there and getting experience. I feel stupid for thinking that I could cut stress and increase my chances of a healthy pregnancy. Yeah, right...I applied for a few jobs but didn't put my last job on my resume or the extern job which now, after reading posts on here, looks like a major mistake??? I just don't know how to explain quitting both jobs due to emotional stress. I mean, everyone has family members die and crisis in their life but you can't just let the stress overtake you and quit jobs. So I know there is no excuse for it and I am actively trying to fix this problem but what do I do now??? In the future I can include these jobs on my resume----because I did get clinical experience----but I guess I might be SOL with the jobs I just applied for.

Am I ruined in nursing? I don't even know how to explain myself. I don't want to explain why I quit my last job--being pregnant---cuz that'll just dig me a bigger whole. Help!

I am not sure I like nursing, but I see the first year as a necessary evil now. After that, I can drop down to part time, PRN, POOL, whatever. And maybe something will grow on me along the way.

Thank you to all who helped me before. Thought you'd be interested in this update and thought you might be able to advise now.

[cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN]

Oh, I'm so sorry about the miscarriage of your baby...

I don't think you're through in nursing. You just need to find the area that works for you.

You can tell them you quit over the stress of a miscarriage-certainly a stressful event.

I wish you well...

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Do what is good for you, life is too short for regrets

[rockermom]

when you are a new grad they know that, and they, your new job, has a check list usually and you willl follow someone or at least have someone oversee you for a while.

So, does this mean that if a new grad were to wait a few months to enter the workforce, that they would not receive the same orientation as a GN?

Thanks!

[jess2007]

i've just learned that it's not easy to find a RN job several months after graduation. nobody wants to admit it, but it's true.

[lamazeteacher]

Well, what a lesson about the dangers of stress! (not to indicate at all, that it caused the miscarriage). The danger was your lack of self confidence, and the outcome seemed out of your control.

Please, please, please have good, effective professional counselling before repeating that pattern. The others posting replies are right, life is short, and it's "not a dress rehearsal", as a talk radio host/psychologist used to say. When I get freaked out I have acupuncture treatments and "network" chiropractic therapy, to realine and strengthen myself so stress related diseases (like "colds") don't have a field day with me.

I too, got pregnant after taking my boards (no NCLEX back in 1960) - unwed and petrified. I worked nights in the ER so I wouldn't have to think about it, and miscarried, too. Many first pregnancies are "lost". It did motivate me to get into therapy, and I became my own advocate later, having the fortitude to say "no!" afterward. Date rape wasn't a term back then, just castigation for presumably saying "yes".

That job you were encountering was scary, as working nights wasn't what you wanted to do. I worked 6 years on nights, hating every waking moment when I wasn't at work, as I was like a zombie. However, that said, often new grads have only that option, as those of us with experience are more likely to get day work.

It's great that you had your husband's support during your crisis, and didn't need "benefits" from your employer. Be less critical of yourself, and become aware that your inner radar can be helpful. One possible mistake does not mess up your life. It's good, I found to have a "mantra" similar to "I'm fine!"

You sound like others like you, and you didn't say that you didn't take your exams. You just have to study more when you put them off, and feel like you've "missed the boat". "Get back on your horse", and get going. There's nursing to be done, and great things ahead for you!